I think he's always cheating or flirting is something wrong with me ? how do i fix this problem?

Question

In the past we had trust issues because he's soooo friendly with people [that's his personality]and sometimes I think he's being nice for other reasons than what he tells me am i crazy do i need meds????? please help i want to trust him and i love him dearly !

Answer 1

If you don't trust your partner and it is making you unhappy you might be better off alone until you find someone you feel secure around. It doesn't sound like your personalities mesh together well if he's really outgoing and flirty and you're more comfortable without that kind of behaviour.

He's not necessarily doing anything wrong, but you have to ask yourself whether being in a relationship with someone you don't trust, whos behaviour is making you miserable is worth it. It will lead to problems for both of you if you end up deeply distrustful of him. Some people just don't go together well, honestly.

You should be happy in a relationship, not worried, or doubtful or feeling like you're 'crazy and need meds'. Get some distance from him and decide whether you want to continue after thinking hard about the whole thing.

Answer 2

in reality you should make your concepts up what's extra major to you; the web woman or the love you've been receiving because you are able to't have both. if you're 17 now your going to have urges and want to do issues with human beings that you basically can't in a on line courting. If she lives nowhere close to then you definately there is little or no threat of you attending to be certain her more beneficial than some days/weeks a 12 months yet in case you imagine your soul acquaintances then that's something you should post with. Myself in my opinion being in a similar situation has continually believe having a courting like what your on line one seems is undesirable at your age or perhaps with the actuality that no longer continually the case look to finally end up badly once you want to do issues (or she needs too) that both do not approve of. you are able to't have both because you'll finally end up hurting too a lot of human beings yet you should make a selection. you should also be promptly up with the female and examine out to make it an open courting, very almost like courting someone.

Answer 3

It could be that he's just a nice guy and you could be overreacting, or it might be that he's slime -- did he suggest the meds?

We need to be able to tell who are the good guys and there is a way.

There is a scale of emotions (good things at the top, bad things at the bottom) and every one moves about on this scale depending on what's happened to them and how they are feeling. Sometimes you're happy sometimes you're sad.

But everyone also has a fixed, underlying position on this scale, and that's the giveaway. If you have someone who's fixed down in apathy, they'll drain the life out of you. If you have someone who's fixed in anger, it's really easy to annoy them and they aren't much fun. And so on.

All the details about this scale and how to spot people on it is contained here:

http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH4.HTM

It's a Scientology thing, but Scientology doesn't need any kind of faith or belief, it's practical and anybody can use it.

Answer 4

I was like this when I met my current boyfriend & then for about 3 years of our relationship. He's also the really friendly, outgoing type & I used to think he was flirting with everyone too. I am also the really friendly, outgoing type too & he was jealous intially also in our relationship. But his jealousy didn't last very long & he soon went back to normal, but I didn't. I used to think every girl he talked to he was flirting with & fancied (looking back on it, that is just extremely irrational, what would the chances of that be) & was insanely jealous. I needed to be with him all the time so I could make sure he wasn't doing anything wrong. My mistake was asking him about his past; he had had lots (& I mean lots) of sexual partners, cheated on everyone he'd been with & had a really awful reputation & so I wondered what was so different about me that he wouldn't do the same to me. His answer was that he was in love with me & had never felt that way about anyone before. Of course, I found that very hard to believe & carried on being insanely jealous which nearly caused our relationship to end on a number of occasions. However I was lucky that I had a very patient boyfriend who always reassured me & obviously loved me to put up with all the crap I gave him. Then I realised that it was actually my insecurities about myself that was causing the jealousy & had absolutely nothing to do with him. You see i always thought that everyone was better than me & wondered why the hell he'd want to stay with me when he could have better. But as he pointed out to me, in his eyes I was the best & he was not interested in being with anyone else. After I realised this I knew that I was being unfair to him. Not only that, my actions were actually pushing him away from me which was the opposite to what I wanted. I realise that he would be far more likely to cheat if I was always giving him crap & he wasn't happy. So I vowed not to be like that again. It was hard don't get me wrong, but if you can just change the way you think & value yourself more you WILL get over this jealousy. I also realised that if he was going to do it, he would do it anyway so it was pointless me trying to prevent it from happening by always being by his side. If he was going to do it, he would do it. So I thought it's better to just trust him & have a nice happy relatuionship where he'd have no need or desire to cheat than an unahppy relationship where we were always arguing & he'd be more likely to cheat. So now I've given him my complete trust & I am so much happeir, & so is he. The thing is he never gave me any reason to doubt him anyway, it wa all in my head. And if the green eyed monster ever tries to rear it's ugly head (which it does now & again) I think of all the nice things he says to me & the nice things he does for me & that monster soon goes away. We've been together 4 years now & we're expecting a baby next June. Our relationship is so much better for me having put my trust in him. I think the longer you're with someone, the less jealous you feel also. The main thing to realise is that if he has given you no reason to doubt him then you should put your total trust in him.Try & think of the nice things he says & does for you. And remember if he didn't want to be with you then he wouldn't be. If he wanted to be woth someone else then he would be. Remember he made a choice & that chocie was you. He picked you above any other girl. That's something you should be proud of. Now go home, give him a big kiss & start working on your own insecurities & making things great between you. Good luck honey !!

Answer 5

Ask yourself if he has ever done anything in the past to break your trust. If not have you done something that you feel guilty about ? they say that guilty people feel that they are being betrayed. If not you need to sit down with him and try to resolve the issue because if you dont your relationship will be doomed. You cant have a relationship that doesn't consist of trust.

Answer 6

Some of us do give the impression that we are flirting and I can understand how a gf or a spouse might get upset with that. You may be a tad on the jealous side also and that doesn't help the situation. My spouse knows that I like to circle a party or get together and yak and flirt but she knows that I'm harmless and she's not the jealous type.

Answer 7

It's NOT that he doesn't respect you. He shouldn't have to change his personality for you. You just need to deal with it and if you can't then maybe you don't love him as much as you think you do. (or it may be that you love him too much and are so scared of loosing him that you react that way) It's your own insecurities that are the problem not him, however, that is assuming that he is 100% trustworthy.

Answer 8

has he given you a reason to not trust him?
do you cheat?
i use to not trust my guy and every time he went out when he came home i would check his pockets and everything.

but then i realized it was all in my mind.
when i was younger i always cheated on all my boyfriend and never got caught so i thought if i could do it so could he.
but I got over it CZ he never gave me a reason to not trust him it was all in my head.

Answer 9

girl i got the same problem but my guy has cheated in the past.I'm working on my problem i think its just an insecurity and you just have to let your self trust him.i know its hard because i always think if your so nice are you gunna be able to say know but i think our men love us just as much as we love them and when it comes down to it i don't think they will cheat so let your self trust him

Answer 10

im exactly the same as you. i dnt think hed do anything to hurt me on purpose but sumtimes being friendly can give other girls da wrong impression and i worry that he wnt correct them and that it makes me look like an idiot or that he doesnt csare about us. if you dnt trust him its nt ur fault. like u said hes given you reasons to worry.if he didnt do that you wudnt worry. email me if u wana ***** bout him anytime [e-mail]