homosexuals.?

Question

okay so my boyfriend, he thinks guys being gay is disgusting, it doesnt bother me at all, my brother is gay, and i dont have the slightest problem with it. I dont know how i can talk to him about it. its getting awkward when he says somethnig pertaining to the subject or says like " thats gay.. and so on"

i said i dont know how to talk to him about it. .. and i just sed, i believe gays should have rights and i dont ahve a problem with it asshole.

Answer 1

Is he otherwise a good friend? I wonder how long it may be before he starts on you for having a close gay relative.
Rose P

Answer 2

Well, how would you talk to your boyfriend about it if he were a horrible racist?

Or would you not be dating him at all?

Perhaps therein lies the answer to your question. If you would not deign to date a racist, why would you date a homophobe? Is homophobia somehow less offensive than racism? How do you think your brother feels?

Overt homophobia should be addressed the same way overt racism should be addressed, by which I mean it should not be tolerated in civilized company. It's both discourteous and backward.

Perhaps your boyfriend has lived a sheltered life, and doesn't know anything beyond his homophobic upbringing. But sometimes ignorance can be remedied. If you are committed to doing so, this could be your chance to enlighten him, to help him be a kinder and more thoughtful man.

For starters, stop being complicit in your boyfriend's homophobic behavior. By remaining silent, and keeping your feelings of awkwardness to yourself, you are sending him the message that homophobic language is okay. Instead, let him know that it really offends you. You have a gay brother, after all! A good boyfriend would not want to offend you or insult your family.

Let him know that it's not okay to use "gay" to mean "stupid" or "worthless," nor to use homophic slurs, for the same reasons it would be unacceptable to level slurs against other minorities: it's hurtful, damaging, and poisonous. It never brings people together; it only divides them. Would he be using the N-word if you had African Americans in your immediate family? I should hope not!

Be firm.

If your boyfriend refuses to correct his offensive and insensitive behavior, and if you're serious about this, let him know that it's a potential deal-breaker (just as if he were a racist). You might drop hints like, "I wouldn't want my children to be raised in a racist home, and I wouldn't want them to be raised in a homophobic home, either." Or, "I would hate for my brother to feel unwelcome in our house."

If he persists in being an oaf, obviously your feelings don't matter very much to him, so you can expect his selfishness to damage other aspects of your relationship as well. And don't you deserve better than that?

It's your call.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If your brother is a cool guy ask him to spend some time with you and your gay hater boyfriend. Once he realizes your brother is a good guy he will realize there is no threat to him and maybe his perspective will widen a little.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Tel him about your brother and how normal he is. He needs to know you feel uncomfortable when he makes the remarks

Answer 5

you may not "have a problem with it" but many do....it is a repulsive aberrant behavior which people are attempting to normalize. It is silly to try and change someone, just move on and find another lib like yourself that thinks it's fine. this guy has freedom in America to feel and say what he wants....why do you libs think no one has free speech except you?????

Answer 6

well if he's your boyfriend then he's supposed to accept all of you...and part of you is that you have a gay brother.

Answer 7

Was there a question in there somewhere?