calling all 2nd wifes,how do you handle your husbands controlling exwife?

Question

this women is destroying our marrage.she uses my husbands son like bait to get what she wants,calls him all the time just to chit chat,has drained us of all our money from court battles the list goes on. my husbands a pussy when it comes to her because of their child he does not want to make waves he just gives her everything she wants.i know there are alot of deadbeat dads out there but there are also alot of deadbeat EXWIFES TO.please i don't want to hear from exwifes who have deadbeat ex husbands because thats not our case.i want to hear from other people in my shoes and how they deal with it.

Answer 1

- You should be very clear and firm with your husband. Kick her out of your life and care about the family.

Answer 2

OMG can I relate! My husband's ex RULES him and dangles his kids as bait to do her bidding. WE paid 100% to buy each kid a new car, put them both into college, pay all insurance bills etc and they are 23 and 25!

I've had all I can take. It's not so much the cost either, it's I can't respect him for jumping thru hoops when SHE says to. HE actually moved into their old home together for 9 days because SHE said he had to watch over his 24 year old son with the flu and she couldn't miss work! Hello, it's the flu...not cancer, AND this kid was 24.

His ex-wife makes $82k /year, WE have just $42k /year and I just don't get it! I tried to reason with him but it did no good. I tried to get all of us together to pre-plan the needs of the "children" so we could be adults about this. No way.

Only your husband can set the tone for how you guys deal with her. He needs a wake up call that his FIRST loyalty is to this marriage and he has no ties to the old one at all. Now his role is co-parent, NOT husband to her.

If it continues sweetie you will lose your mind one day and just leave. I did. I'll be divorced before New Years. Now the ex-wife can have him jump hoops fulltime.

Answer 3

if he's stupid enough to play this silly game .. well you don't have a chance in h---. That was the first wife, and its his son, and that's the way the ball bounces. What would you do, if the tables were turned? I am not an ex wife, but a child of parents that divorced. Now, my mother is dead, and dad brought out all of the letters she sent him over the yrs before and after the divorce ... he loved her once, but loves his second. It's a hard life, that is why God hates divorce. Everyone is affected to include the children ... I still have problems with the 2nd wife, because she isn't my mother ... and I'm over 40.

Answer 4

My fiance has an ex from hell. She uses the kids to get under his skin because they are so improtant to him. Even though he pays on time she still wants more- and will only call when she needs something. We went to INdiana for thanksgiving and he was able to see the kids for 2 hours- the kids were dirty and unkempt. but when we went to drop them off to her again both her and her boyfirend (the man she cheated on him with) were dressed to the tee. He tried to get the kids the next night- she was running late and said she called to tell him- thing is- we live in MN and that is where she called- then she said she wasnt going to let the kids around him because he didnt try hard enough to get them. She gets mad when she cant get her way (she asked for a PS3 for the 8 yr old- we all knew it was going to her bf) and then threatens court.

GOD I HATE the ex. I just try and be as supportive as possible to him. I know it hurts him when she uses the kids, but i try to help him see that there are other options. She doesnt work, she takes care of her bf and his daughter with the cs he sends for his kid...

So honey i feel you. Just support your husband. There is nothing more that you can do. As far as converstaions, your husband should always cut her short- there is no reason to talk to the ex if it has nothing to do with the child. Even then he can keep it short.

Good luck honey!

Answer 5

girl i had the same problem, me and my husband been together for 3 years now, see she wanted him back so that's why she was using the child. but we got that resolved you gotta be a strong woman and tell him and her together this is how it is and this is what it's gonna be. my man love his son but he also loves me he pay his child support and his son and her other son come over every other week end, we have them the whole summer.anything his son need as far as clothes and shoes we buy anything else she use her child support money, she dont call anymore unless it's an emergency or she's picking them up or dropping them off, they are old enough to call themselves so she shouldnt even be an issue.yall need to sit down and talk because it could ruin yall marriage

Answer 6

Join a stepmom support group... You can do a a lot of venting, and get answers that way...
Your husband has got to draw a line with the ex... I understand about not making waves, but what he doesn't realize is that he's making waves with you... Let him know that you think she takes advantage of the fact they share a child, and that he needs some boundries asap.

Answer 7

Calling all 2nd wifes

Answer 8

Animal Crossing: Wild World friend codes?

Answer 9

Wives

Answer 10

She is using their son as a pawn in order to control her ex husband.She not only wants to control her ex husband.She wants to destroy him.She is using their son to do it.He is enabling her by giving into her/giving her.What she wants?He does not want to make waves with her/because he is afraid she will keep his son from him.She plays off his fear.He needs to stand up to her/call her bluff so to speak/set the rules.When it comes to their son.Take back the control this woman is trying to steal from him.Otherwise.She will drain him until there is nothing left for him to give.She is out to destroy him>She is using their son to do it.Unless your husband choose to stand up to her.Then nothing is ever going to change.