this women is destroying our marrage.she uses my husbands son like bait to get what she wants,calls him all the time just to chit chat,has drained us of all our money from court battles the list goes on. my husbands a pussy when it comes to her because of their child he does not want to make waves he just gives her everything she wants.i know there are alot of deadbeat dads out there but there are also alot of deadbeat EXWIFES TO.please i don't want to hear from exwifes who have deadbeat ex husbands because thats not our case.i want to hear from other people in my shoes and how they deal with it.
2006-12-04 14:54:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry but I dealing with a deadbeat dad....but I can understand your siduation. My siduation is kind of opposite...his girlfriend can not keep out of my life...she kind of stalks me...but anyway...tell him to limit his calls with her...only talk about the kid. He needs to put his foot down this way she will hopefully back off...if she is a deadbeat parent take her to court and make her take care of her kid....the state goes after deadbeat parents for free_
2006-12-04 14:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love, honour and obey my husband, be feminine, be respected to my husband, and the exwife is disturbed that she was never much a woman like me, that she just left us alone! And she moves on to her own life. She is the one who threw the marriage away, I came in about 4 1/2 years later to a broken hearted, man who needed someone to share his life with, and I too, experienced broken heart too!!!
you are part of a blended family, just like I am, you are just step mom not the real mom. Give that respect to her, but in your home you are your husband wife, and your husband and yours rules in your own home.
Go for joint custody with the exwife, eventually she will have to work an not recieved child support. The child lives with one parent one week, then the other parent next week.
Get a guardian ad litem to look at the best interest for the child, for the court, then the courts will see that the best interest of the child is done first before, a selffish parent who using the child as blackmail.
2006-12-04 15:09:42 · answer #2 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they have a child together they do have to deal with each other. However they don't need to be best friends. Ask your husband to chat only about what affects his child. Other than that you should probably stay out of it. The courts have been involved so all the finances should be worked out. Try not to feel that your husband is choosing his exwife's interest over yours. He sounds like he wants to raise his child properly. Let him deal with that.
2006-12-04 16:39:41 · answer #3 · answered by CHRISTINE S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I went thru this with my husbands ex wife. She never seemed to stop wanting more and more money from us. I finally told her it seemed like she was having a time financially so maybe it would be best if we took over custody of the kids. Well she didn't like this at all. She stopped asking for money and actually stopped calling our house 4 times a day complaining.I think she feared at that point that we just might seek custody which would have meant she would have had to pay us child support. ;o) Your husbands got to stand up to this woman whats he got to lose. I mean the court ordered visitation I'm sure and she can't take that away from him. If she don't allow the kids to go with him he could get her for going against a court order and get her in trouble. Good luck to you and I can relate to your problem. ;o(
2006-12-04 16:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should'nt use the son as bait to get what she wants. He should put a stop to that. Why does she always call to chat??? That's why they got divorced in the first place, right? Go to a legal clinic for advice. I did today, and it was only $20.00. It's worth every penny. He'll tell what rights you two have with the ex and what she's doing. Make a list of what you want to discuss. Good Luck!!!!
2006-12-04 15:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon how old your husband's son is! Does he have visitation? If the son is under 12, then, good for your husband for hanging in there, to be a "parent". If over 12, then if the son wants to visit it's up to him. Stress with your husband that he is a good "father", but that he has to "divorce" his ex-spouse and set limits upon her FIRMLY! He HAS to make a choice to build his new marriage (something obviously the ex does not want) and limit the "conferences" with the ex to once a week for arranging visitations only. Develop your own relationship with the son, and insist upon regular visits, pre-determined by you and your husband.
2006-12-04 15:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. I can only imagine your pain. I thought mine was bad. Comunication is the key between you and your husband. I'm sure you talk about it all the time tho. It really sucks. All I know is that it helps to really honestly breakdown and tell your husband how it feels every single time she comes up. It's like the guys dont realize how us "other" women feel. And they are also less emotional towards us because the first one was such a hag. Keep talking girl, hopefully he'll listen.
2006-12-04 15:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by TNT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we are dealing with the same x. my hubby's x does the exact same thing with their son. all me and my hubby did was fight and it would get really heated. the way i deal with it is i don't deal with her. she would always try to make it where me and my husband were "inconvenienced" by dropping off their son unexpectedley, or something juvenile like that. all you should worry about is your relationship with your husband. i try to stay out of the arguments between my hubby and his x. all you can do is be there for him, support him when he is having a hard time with her. don't make things worse for you and him when she is already making things bad for you guys. also talk to him about how you think she is taking advantage of him. he shouldn't give in to everything just to keep the peace, he is the father. he has rights too. when the child gets older, he'll start to see his mom's true colors. it'll make the father son relationship that much better. keep your chin up and hope you find the patience to get through it all.
2006-12-04 18:07:23 · answer #8 · answered by menolikey811 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One can never really divorce a woman if he has a child by her that he loves, because she knows she can use the child to get him to do things that will make you angry. He chit chat, with her to try to keep her mind stable, if she don't have a man in her life, because he wants her to take care of his child, the best as she can. He need the mother of his child well at all times. Don't let it upset you, he loves you but have a duty to his kid. I have been there. Believe me he loves you, help him out, he needs you.
2006-12-04 16:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by bigslick60 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to chill, and realize you were knowing what you got into if you married someone with an ex-wife and kids. That is your husband's first family, and he must look after them. You cannot be selfish in this regard. However it makes you feel, you have to stifle that and respect your husband's kids, and the mom of his kids.
2006-12-04 23:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋