I hope this doesn't sound harsh, it certainly isn't meant to be, but could things be better for homosexuals if

Question

they started placing more attention on their idenity as a person instead of defining themselves in terms of their sexuality? It seems to me this is the problem that many straight people have with homosexuals; it's not so much the homosexuality itself that offends them, but the insistance by homosexuals that they define themselves by their sexuality.

If this is out of line, I'm sorry. It certainly isn't meant to be.

Wow!

There were so many great responses! This was a real eye-opener for me, and I'm glad I asked the question.

I really wanted to pick one answer, but I just couldn't. There were at least five that really impressed me; that's why I'm sending this to vote.

Thanks you all for educating me and answering my question. I'll be keeping track to see whose answer is selected.

Answer 1

I agree with you completely. I am gay and it really irks me that people who are gay flaunt their homosexuality to others as if this one aspect of identity gives them special privileges or a license to act differently from what they would else wise.

I can understand gay pride. Just like nationalism or racial pride, that's not the problem, but when gay pride becomes an almost ostentatious show of one's sexuality to others or when it becomes almost a forced bearing upon others to behold, that's out of limit.


We are not gay people, simply people who are gay. Being gay is not our all defining factor but an important part of who we are.

Hope this answer not only shows that not all gays are like what you describe, but also that being gay is an important of who we are.

Answer 2

We place more attention on ourselves? When someone tells another about you, do they say, " I have this friend who is straight......" or, "I met this guy/girl, they're nice, I don't care if they are straight." And this one," Everybody says being straight is wrong, but I still think straight people are fine, as long as they don't talk about it." "Straight people should read the bible and change before it's too late!" I hate straight hetro's! Whenever me and my friends go out, we find straight people and kick their ____! Hetro's should all be shot!"
When I'm introduced to other's it would be nice to have them not say, "Oh by the way, he's gay." Would you want to have your sex preference tagged on to your name? My sexual preference is not an explanation of who I am, it is a private part of my life. I rarely have lunch or other social gatherings where sooner or later my sex life isn't brought up. I am not the one who starts the question and answer session. It is usually either a female who has a friend of a friend, or a man who just has to convince me and all within ear shot he is not gay. Against popular belief, gay people are not attracted to just anything with genital's the same as theirs. Many straight guys I have seen could run naked with a $1000 bill rapped around their family jewels, and not only would I not reach for the money but, I would hope for blindness then have to watch it again. Most straight guys have a short thought process with limited storage. The attention span of a motherless chimp, and wrongly think that all who remain in the same room with them are hanging onto their every word. So to all the straight men out there who just know their next on the list to be de-flowered by a hard up fag, most of us have better taste, and not all of it is in our mouths! If this was out of line, GOOD! It was meant to be. Then maybe I will stop being blamed for the speeches I have had to make, the stories to tell, and excuses made to someone who felt the need to interview me about everything I do and say. I would never ask another such personal questions. First, I was raised better than that. Second, I'm afraid they may get answered and I couldn't care less about straight people's sex life. I'm trying to stop defining straight people by their sexual preference's and see them for the caring, open minded human's they claim to be.

Answer 3

Because of how unacceptable it is to be GLBT in many places, it is a very big part of our lives, so it's something that becomes a big issue in our lives that may take priority over things like a conversation about our favorite color. Also, if we don't out ourselves, then how can we let people know that members of the GLBT community are just people too? If Gay Joe hides in the closet and is a firefighter, then it's just average Joe that saves lives and gays are still seen as horrible monsters. If Gay Joe is out, then people actually get to see that many of us are just normal people that happen to like the same sex or, in the case of transpeople, just happen to identify different from our physical sex at birth. Just a couple of reasons it's made into such a big deal.

Answer 4

Well........
When Our Rights are denied because of our sexuality, what exactly would you suggest?
They won't allow me to marry my other half because I'm a nice guy.
They don't consider the fact that I'm a good person if I want to adopt a kid, they want to look at (among other things) my sexuality.


Your post isn't out of line, you just don't seem to understand what's actually going on. Frankly, so long as I have all the rights I deserve, I'm not worried about the way others treat me. I'm not one you pick out of a crowd as gay, I don't bop down the street in a feather boa and tiara. I present myself in public the way I am, a typical guy.

Answer 5

Well, sometimes it's taken as us placing emphasis on our sexuality, but hetero people do it too. Whenever a girl says, "That guy's cute!" or talks about her boyfriend/husband/crush, it's the same thing.

I understand that some gay people make it ALL ABOUT THE SEX. Which is annoying. But it's hard to not take identity in who you are attracted to. It's how you form a romantic relationship, and that becomes a big part of your life.

Answer 6

I believe a lot of people define themselves by their sexuality, not only homosexuals. While we are all unique with various interests and goals, dating and relationships are an integral part of life for most people regardless of sexual orientation.

People tend to flock towards groups with similar interests because it makes them feel comfortable. Who would want to be friends with someone that hates their significant other based on gender alone? While you may be offended by a rainbow flag hanging outside a bar or club, others see this as a symbol of acceptance and safety. It lets them know that they are free to be there and be themselves without dealing with discrimination.

While there is a difference, "advertising" your sexual orientation is not much different than displaying flags, signs or paraphernalia that symbolize your heritage, religion or other beliefs and opinions.

Answer 7

You are so uninformed and ignorant. Do you actually know any gay people? I'm straight but I have many gay friends (some going back 20+ years) and have talked with and gotten to know TONS of gay men and women. Gay people are people and do not define themselves by their sexuality any more than heterosexual people. Instead of stereotyping, generalizing and talking out of your a*s you should get out and talk with and get to know some gay people and then form an opinion.

Answer 8

You are WAY off base! A person's identity isn't whether they are gay or straight, or even what job they hold!

Let's test your own question on you: Say you wait tables for a living. When people ask you "What do you do," do you answer them, "Im a waitress?" Many people do this, so in a way, their job becomes their identity. So, if you are a "waitress," is that ALL you are?!?!?

In the same way, your question about homosexuals makes about the same sense--which is NONE!

Answer 9

I may be only 16, but I completely agree with you. I know a few gay people, and that's all they talk about and they go out of their way to make others know that they're gay. I can't stand it really.. Yeah, I am gay.. But I don't bring it up every chance I get and try and make it known to the entire world.

Answer 10

Why don't you try telling that to the Federal Government who disallows us the same RIGHTS, PRIVELEDGES and PROTECTIONS under the LAW because of our SEXUALITY!

It's not US who you need to say this to. It's all those who would deny us our rights as fellow citizens because of who we love.
Because of our sexuality we are denied basic human dignity to live our lives in peace and happiness, we are in some states denied the right to work without hiding who we are...and before you say it shouldn't matter what our sexuality is at the workplace, as much as I agree the truth of the matter is that in most offices people have photos of their loved ones on their desks or at their work stations. As soon as a gay man or lesbian puts up photos of their "family" it becomes quite obvious and they are immediately in jeopardy of loosing their job!
(and yes, in some states it is still legal to fire someone because of their sexual orientation!)
WE are forced to lie about who we love in many aspects of everyday life in order to protect ourselves and/or those we love.

NO, it SHOULDN'T matter, but the truth is IT DOES!
...and not because WE make it matter but because homophobes and bigots MAKE it matter!

You're preaching the wrong message here darlin'.
It's not US who need to change, but the minds of those who are so obsessed with the lives of others!