I am so Confused?

Question

I have never been a girl to cry on peoples shoulders and complain about my day.. i have never been the one to cling to my bf untill he wanted a shot gun.. but lately my hubby and i cant seem to stop fighting and everything i do to make it better just irrates him more!!! I dont even know what we fight about anymore... I have never loved someone so much and been so lost at what to do should i just give up and suffer heartache...i dont know!!!

Answer 1

don't give up. you are saying how you are feeling, but i don't hear what he is feeling. if this is something new to his personality - then something is going on in his life. it doesn't necessarily mean he's angry with you - it could be something that's going on in his life that's driving him crazy and he's picking it out on you rather than his real problem. open up your heart to him, tell him you are feeling his anger (and also that you have not been handling it well, so rather than helping him you have building on his anger) and that you love him and want to help him work through whatever it is that's bothering him; but, in order to do that he has to open up to you - and no matter what it is you are there to help - let him know you are a team - and you know each of you do things that can make the other angry - but let me know if it is me; and, if it isn't me, than it has to be something else and you want to help him with it - you just have to talk with me - because we are in this together. so, don't give up, work it out and open up to each other.

Answer 2

Dear Ashley.

I do understand where your coming from and I have to admit I am in a very similar situation as you are right now. I have contemplated on leaving but the only thing that keeps me here is the commitment that I got myself into and LOVE. I know it sounds corny and all that but no body deserves to suffer the heartache and pain.

We are both in a situation where we are still trying to understand the other person. Just keep holding on and if ever things gets really worse try getting a third party to ease everything out. Talk to him. The last thing you wanted to do is give up on someone that you love.

Answer 3

I have just gone through this myself....How long have you been with hubby? Would he consider any marriage counseling? Maybe just back off for a while, perhaps it is work, or stress, or something he personally is going through. If it doesn't get better, and counseling is out...then you have to think about you....will the fighting turn to more than verbal? How much are you willing to take and how much of yourself are you willing to loose? You yourself could get some help....how is the sex? Perhaps roll play? If you have tried alot of things....then like me, it may be time to save yourself. The hurt will subside....and you will find love again.

Answer 4

No no don't give up ashley. Okay so you tryed everything that you know. maybe its something else thats bothering him maybe he feels bad about something and by you coming up to him consoling him makes him feel more guilt and makes him feel like crap. Not saying he's cheated here but maybe its something he knows is wrong..

Or could be something else. Why don't you tell him just what you told us here that you love him so much and you have never loved anyone more in y9our life and it hurts you to see him hurt and what is it that you can do for him. maybe he will say give me space or don't coddlle me so much or maybe your to motherly to him and he feels angry about that. every man has there different commfort zones in what they like from a woman. but you can't guess here and you have tryed everything you can now its time to go to the source and ask him. get him to shed some light on this.

Maybe he has a secret maybe his health is bothering him you don't know but he's shutting down on you. and all you can do is let him know your there for him in anything he has to say and that you will be there for him when he needs you.. then let him be and he'll think upon what you said and will come to you later once he's figure this out more.

Something is definatly bothering him.
Good luck

Answer 5

Hello honey,
is sad to know about your problems.. however you just mentioned about shoulder to cry on, BF issues, short gun and later is your hubby...
BUT never mentioned about what the real issues is???

Whatever it is, you and all of us have to face it, this is life huh!!! we have to think of how to calm down, relax our self, let you have a peace of mind, then slowly think about it how to resolve these matters..

Dont have to be lost, just be your self and not necessary to suffer a headache too. Coz time is the real medison, where ppl need time to think what they really want in life and compare against what we really need instead, see what i mean?

The things that we "WANT" may not be the things that we really "NEED"... try to differentiate both of this then analyze which one is more important to enable you to resolve your matter k..

Dont worry k, i'm always there for you...

Answer 6

Forget what you’ve seen on TV. The plots of countless crime shows notwithstanding, Stout says, “even trained psychologists are very bad at discerning the moment when someone is telling a lie.” Rather than studying your date’s face for an unconscious twitch or a furtive sideways glance, “you’re better off trying to figure out this person’s character,” which is revealed more by his conversation than by his body language or facial expressions. Which brings us to…

Ask the right questions. Stout recommends asking (not grilling) your date about his past romantic entanglements, then listening very carefully to what he has to say. “If he attributes everything that went wrong to the other person, then he’s not taking responsibility for his own life, and such people often turn out to be liars.” This doesn’t only apply to past girlfriends: If, for instance, he says he left his last job because his boss was “a jerk,” that’s a red flag, too.

Stand your ground. If you decide to challenge your beau about one of his half-truths (or outright whoppers), be prepared for a barrage of excuses. “Often times, such people will try to appeal to your honesty and empathy,” Stout says. Here are some lines you’re likely to hear: “I was turned on by you so much, I just couldn’t bear to tell you,” “Please don’t be angry, you’re the only one who understands me,” and “I’ll never do it again, can you please forgive me?”

Don’t fall for the “rebel” routine. “A sociopath feels himself to be outside the law, social or actual,” Stout says, “and not only does he like to bend the rules, he also wants you to help him.” So if your date casually says things like, “Let’s have sex in the elevator,” or “Let’s just sneak into the movie, no one will notice,” don’t be surprised if he’s dropped a few lies as well during the course of the evening.

Know when to cut your losses. Surprisingly, Stout takes a more lenient stance than the classic expression, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” “I have a list of rules for dealing with sociopaths, and one of them is The Rule of 3’s. If this person has misled you once, it could be a mistake or misunderstanding. If he’s done it twice, it can still be a mistake (though that’s less likely). But when it happens three times, that’s when you know you’re with someone who deals in falsehoods.”

Don’t blame yourself. Per the first point on this list, Stout says, many women tend to beat themselves up after becoming involved with a pathological liar, because they cling to the “superstition” that they should have been able to figure things out right away. “Lying is difficult to detect,” she says, “so you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.” Get away from the liar in question, and get on with your life without berating yourself.

Answer 7

If I interpret correctly you mean you have a fight with your husband recently. Why can't both of you sit down and talk over issue calmly, when people are angry they can do things out of their control.

Answer 8

Love is sweet, but living together is bitter unless both can tolerate each other behaviour.

Answer 9

try talking it out with him, or try counseling,maybe it's something simple that can be worked out over a weekend away in a motel or dinner,Good Luck

Answer 10

ARE YOU mad at at the gun or hubby or best friend???