My husbands ex-wife has been doing things like calling his phone and leaving 5 to 8 messages at a time reminicsing about when they were married four years ago. He ignores her but this has gone on our whole marriage. She is always on my case and his about what we are doing wrong with their two daughters and he doesn't say anything. Lastly, I finally confronted her about some messages she left for him and as soon as I started to say "listen here" she punched me and we fought in front of all five kids. Finally i got her off me and called the cops but i did not press charges. A few days later i did with my husbands blessings but now he says i was a coward for doing so. Two weeks after this she came up to my husbands window of our vehicle in a parking lot and started screaming things at me and telling me that she will kick my butt again. My husband just sat there and said nothing. He says this is my fight. Is this normal? Would a husband that really loves his new wife let this go on?
2006-12-04 14:16:55 · 22 answers · asked by ctdanea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You and your husband, need help, please seek help from a doctor, for your kids sake.
2006-12-04 16:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by bigslick60 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe if your new husband really loved you he would never have allowed things to get out of hand like this. He definately should be defending you, that is true and his ex wife needs to be told that she is definately the EX and has nothing to do with your marriage to him. She only has a say in the raising of the children. However it doesn't seem to me that your husband has the balls to tell her this and has now made it your problem. Fighting in front of the children though is just so very wrong and there is no excuse for that. I would advise you to get a restraining order on this woman and keep calling the police on her until she gets the message or gets locked up, whichever comes first. You are not the coward in this situation, your husband is and unless he is willing to back you on this l would be the next EX wife. You and your children deserve love and support. You need a man for that, not a mouse. Best of luck.
2006-12-04 14:50:45 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When my husbands ex wife harassed him all the time we got the phone number changed. We tried calling the cops on her but they told us that she had a right to call if the children was at our house. Well the thing was the children was not at our house when she'd called. So we just got our number changed since we couldn't get her for harassment. And we never see her or talk to her now because the lady at the exchange center relates the messages back and forth. We pick the kids up and drop them off at a exchange center for kids, so they won't see the parents arguing all the time. Using the exchange center made it a lot less stressful for husband and I. So we don't have to deal with the ex now, Thank god. If your husband was any kind of man he would take up for you. He would tell her to stop all the BS. But if i was you I'd get the phone number changed or something. She can find another way to get a hold of you guys. Like maybe call a relative or something and the relative could call you guys or something. I dunno but i know that i wouldn't put up with it. Only other thing i know to do is go to the cops about it. Good luck with everything.
2006-12-04 14:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there may be some merit into those messages she is leaving on his phone when he doesn't even bother to stick up for you. Not to mention he failed to protect you when his ex-wife attacked you.
I would certainly be giving him an ultimatum. It sounds as if you don't put your foot down on this one that you will have to deal with this for a long time coming. I will add though never confront a nutcase, esp in front of the kids. It was asking for disaster as you learned. I say stick with your charges on her let her learn her lesson legally. Each and every time she harasses you call the cops, its not cowardly. She has no right to harass you. I would also suggest getting a restraining order out against her. This way if she keeps up on harassing you she will be arrested and jailed.
Good luck to you on all this and if your husband doesn't want to defend you then kick his butt to the curb sounds like him and his ex were better suited.
2006-12-04 14:22:32 · answer #4 · answered by Issym 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, Ive been there. Definitely change your number. but mostly you need to tell your husband to be a "man" and stand by you!! You are his wife and it's not fair to put you through this. He can put a stop to this, and he knows that!! If he just sat there do you think maybe there's something going on between them? I could be wrong and hope I am, but how can your husband let this continue to happen? And you even take care of the 2 girls, the EX needs to get a life! But I really feel hes being totally wrong by not standing up for you.. I hope it all comes to an end, and things get better for you! Good Luck!!
2006-12-04 14:43:44 · answer #5 · answered by kathy p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To an extent you have to put of with the ex because of his daughters. The most you should do is the occasional chat.
But what his ex-wife is doing should be your husband's battle not yours. You shouldn't have confronted her or anything, your husband should have taken care of it. Sounds like he's a wuss or is enjoying watching the two of you fight over him.
I personally think he still has feelings for his ex wife which is why he won't stand up to her for you. He should be standing up for you and your life together but he doesn't. This is not your fight it was his and he someone how managed to transfer it to you.
I would wipe my hands clean of the whole manner. Don't talk to the ex or anything, let him deal with it. If she really becomes a nuisance to you and only you I'd file a restraining order against her. Not to be the barer of bad news but how he handles you filing a restraining order will tell you loud and clear about his feelings for his ex-wife
If your husband can't stand up for you and is doing all this I'd really rethink my marriage to him.
2006-12-04 14:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing now. I put a trespass warning on her, and then a restraining order. She is still harrassing us. So you may need to tell your husband to take some type of action towards it.
2006-12-04 14:37:21 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First...you both were very immature for fist fighting in front of 5 innocent children...what do you think was going through their heads...as for the threats keep calling the police and if possible press charges on her she needs to learn she can not get away with this childish sh*t...Sounds to me your husband is a chicken sh*t when it comes to his ex...I don't think this whole situation is normal.
2006-12-04 14:23:34 · answer #8 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First step - change your telephone number.
Second step - file a complaint with the police regarding harassment if she's still doing stuff like threatening you in public.
2006-12-04 14:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If my husband let his ex-wife scream at me and threaten me in public like that, I'd file for divorce. Sounds like he still wants her.
2006-12-10 20:06:21 · answer #10 · answered by miladybc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing in pressing charges, you may need to get a restraining order. This is not just your fight...He should stand up for you and put her in her place. If he doesn't, he's the coward!
Not to mention, imagine the emotional scars for the children!
2006-12-05 00:40:36 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa Bee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋