Im in my early stages of our marriage and I feel like everythings coming to a close. Wife is way too strong minded and she won't even step down to her pedestal. Sometimes she just wanted everything her way and when she doesn't get it she either gets violent or COMPLETELY IGNORE YOU.... as if you are not even in a relationship.
2006-12-04 13:51:19 · 21 answers · asked by Macky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
File for divorce. She'd be better off alone, and you can do better.
2006-12-04 13:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by мooи sнiиe 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Early marriage can be a struggle. If you love her you need to work at it. Find a time when you and she are not fighting, not arguing, not having sex, etc. Just relaxed and enjoying each other's company. (this way she won't think this will be in response to anything). Then tell her you need to talk. Explain to her you love her. And look forward to spending your life with her. But also tell her how HER behavior makes you FEEL. Women understand FEELINGS. We respond emotionally. Give her examples: "when you do this, it makes me FEEL this way." Explain how always having to do things her way makes you feel. Does it make you feel like she doesn't respect you or doesn't care about you or your needs? Make sure she understands the conversation is to make your marriage better and not to start a fight. Be gentle and calm and don't use this as a time to point out every little complaint you may have. Try using this to set a few ground rules about compromise and SHARING your lives (which is what a marriage is all about)
Good luck.
2006-12-04 22:00:57 · answer #2 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd pick a time when she's in a fairly good mood and tell her you would like to just sit and talk to her about a few things. I'd start by telling her how much you love her and then go into talking about the things in your marriage that are really bothering you a lot. Maybe even telling her if there are no changes in these things you might have to consider a separation cause you can not handle these things anymore. This might just help her to realize you are serious about it and she might just decide how important the marriage is. I feel if you just continue living like this with her it will only get worse since she'll feel you are willing to accept her ways. good luck to you. ;o)
2006-12-04 22:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her, about a week before, that the two of you need to sit down and have an intimate conversation about the future. Make her a meal at home, in case theres yelling, ask her how she feels first then in a calmly fashioned tell her how you feel. A marriage is not about shutting eachother up its about communication, and if you expect to live together for a life time then you cant go on the way you are.
2006-12-04 21:57:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer I 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You two need some serious communication. It may not be a bad idea to get a third party in there as well.
You both need to talk about how this marriage is going. You need to step up and put in your say of things. She needs to learn that this is a team, not just about her.
The worst thing about this situation is that it's clear that you WANT this marriage to work. As long as you have this drive, I'm sure that you can communicate your fear of where this marriage could be headed if left to fester.
2006-12-04 21:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's awful. A relationship marriage or not is about sacrifice and compromise. Have you tried counseling? An outsiders point of view can really help sometimes. You have to tell her how you feel, try: when you____, I feel____, because_____. Be honest but not nasty. Then mention counseling. You're married, you're kind of in it for the long haul and since you are in the early stages, you should be able to come to an agreement. Good luck to you.
2006-12-04 21:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is it possible that she is just having difficulties adjusting to married life? If she never showed these signs before, it is entirely possible. Once the big hoopla of the wedding wears off, it can be hard for some women to adjust to real life.
Talk to her honestly & LISTEN to what she has to say. Let her know how her behavior makes you feel. Talk with a counselor/pastor about your viewpoints, if need be. Good luck!
2006-12-04 21:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she hasnt grown up yet. She throws temper tantrums to try and get her way. and i supose if you ignore it she will do something else to try and get her way. I know because i used to do the same thing. since she is so strong willed, it will take a long time for her to stop acting like a child. I know, it took me years. sorry. If you really love her try to ride it out. Mine did. Just always tell her you cant always have every thing you want and to try and think of others for a change. I know cuz i didnt think of others. i was a spoiled brat. Trying to reason with her may not work. It will probley make her angrier and she wont admit to the way she acts. I know, i didnt.
I may be wrong about all this. I hope i am for your sake. But if not, im sorry your going thru this. its gonna be difficult do deal with. but as i said, if you truely love her, youll ride it out. If shes like i was then your not going to be able to reason with her, so just let her throw her fit and then be their for her when she cools down. Thats what i wanted when i was finished throwing my tantrums
Oh and one more thing, if she tries to manipulate you to try to get her way, like i did, dont let her. Point out to her that you know what shes trying to do and its not gonna work
Good Luck
2006-12-04 22:04:57 · answer #8 · answered by Crissy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you meant by your wife getting violent is that she slaps, bites or otherwise psychical harms you, that is abuse. Just because she is the woman does not give her the right to get violent. That being said, I think you should try counseling if you want to save the marriage. It sounds to me like your wife doe not really care about you. If she cared about you she would not treat you like she does.
2006-12-04 21:54:49 · answer #9 · answered by Lachelle 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she showed any signs of this behavior before you were married, I would say you made a mistake, reverse it (divorce), because she is not going to change and you were crazy to marry her. On the other hand, if this is new behavior, talk to her about it , try to understand what is making her act this way and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't want to meet you halfway, and it will show in her actions, then please refer to the second sentence.
2006-12-04 21:56:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just come find me....ill give ya what u want!!! ur wife def needs to know what 50/50 in a marriage is. u need to be the man when its necessary and she as well.
2006-12-04 21:54:46 · answer #11 · answered by greenmm0500 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋