I have an ex who i would love to keep as a friend, but im married now...should i ???
2006-12-04 13:47:00 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not if your spouse is against it. Have a talk with your spouse and explain that you treasure this friend and would like to continue being friends. If you have the support then go ahead. But caution, do not let it interfere or disrupt your marriage. Cheers!
2006-12-04 13:49:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jaybird S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know that I am going to represent the minority opinion on this issue But my answer is no. Absolutley not . Somebody just kicked the living crap out of your soul and you still want to be friends with that person .Why on earth would you want to do something that stupid ?
Now you have just add another layer of complexity onto the question. You tell us that you are willing to risk what you currently have in order to gain something from the relationship that you once had. Having those kinds of needs is unhealthy. You are in effect playing Russian roulette with five bullets in the chamber and the result s are entirely predictable- you must lose.
Situations like yours are the reaon that
I am a firm believer in burying your dead and burning your bridges behind you so neither you nor your enemies can ever cross them.
2006-12-04 23:20:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not wise to bring the past into the present IF it was a bad experience. Bring the lesson forward and learn from it. Don't repeat the lesson because you will hurt others [husband]. A true friend will respect the feelings of yourself and your husband and stay clear to avoid any perception of an affair. Let sleeping "dogs" lay.
2006-12-04 21:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is children involved from the marriage why not set a good example how people can get along and even if there is not children involved what would the reason be not to be friends. Some people can get along better when they are not married.
2006-12-04 21:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on how your husband/wife feels. If they are okay with it then yes. Just as long as it is friends. And you need to make sure your ex has no feelings for you. Sometimes an ex could be a really good friend, depending on how your relationship went. :)
2006-12-04 21:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I see that there are a lot of "evolved" people here... yeah, sure.
My opinion: If there are kids involved, yes. If not, stay friends if that is important to you but heed that this does not interfere with you moving on. Also, try putting yourself on your present spouse's shoes. Be honest.
In my very humble opinion, this "need/want" to stay friends is a way of not letting go. It is very immature and will jeopardize your present relation.
2006-12-04 22:28:49 · answer #6 · answered by John Dull est 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't really be fair to your spouse. If there are children involved, then being friends to the point of agreeing on matters with the children are fine. But a friend to hang out with, nooooo, it wouldn't be fair at all. Would you want your wife/husband to be friends and hang out with her/his ex? That would be a site, the four of you best of friends. I can't see it happening. But I suppose stranger things has happened.
2006-12-04 21:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by Vida 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is this an ex-bf/gf or an ex-spouse?
Honestly, it all depends on you and your spouse. If s/he is comfortable with it, and this ex is not someone by whom you will be tempted to cheat on your spouse, I see no reason why not.
One of my exes was in our wedding -- he and my husband became very good friends. He is getting married to one of my husband's good friends this month. They are a great couple to be around, and we both enjoy having them as friends.
2006-12-04 21:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are married you should focus on your wife and not someone you have seen nude. Old flames never die somewhere inside of you two is room for error for your wife to be hurt. Ask your wife this question. If you are hiding your friendship from your wife then you know it's wrong. Marriage is a serious comminent please be careful with that.
2006-12-04 21:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there are children involved absolutely, i would not say "friends" but amicable. If there are no children involved, i would say concentrate on your new relationship, otherwise your new partner might feel resentful towards you. He might misinterpret your talks, your relationship as a whole. It's ok, once in a while a quick hello, how are you but no more than this. You need to move on.
2006-12-04 21:50:26 · answer #10 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋