I hate myself sometimes. I despise it. I'm so darn serious with my best friend and i'm just so frustrated with her a lot of times. I mean...I feel like i'm loosing myself because of it and causing her so much pain. Half of the time when i'm telling her something she will tune me out even if it's something BIG or SMALL or she'll just plain forget about it. I don't want her perfect but i'm makeing her feel like tha she needs to be perfect. This is why I hate myself. I'm just frustrated that nothing I say seems to matter to her and when I actually bring it up she gets angry at me and says that I always say negative stuff about her.I mean me and her will be talking and then in the middle of the not so serious or serious conversation she'll come out with something and talk about that and completly forget about what i've been saying. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Should I stop being best friends for her for her sake. I don't want to be the reason why she thinks negative sometimes just like she said I do
2006-12-04 13:25:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This has been going on for awhile and...i'm worried that I am such a bad person for makeing her feel negative.
2006-12-04 13:26:04 · update #1
I mean like I listen to her a lot of times...even when she complains about little things over and over again. But when she interupts me over something small. Like i'm talking about something serious and she'll randomly talk about something else small like cleaning her room or takeing a bath and completly forget about me.
2006-12-04 13:32:13 · update #2
Oddly i'm only super serious with her. Maybe because she complains so much on little things and since i'm serious in general i'm just thinking 'there are so much far worse things in our world then haveing to carry an extra book around' or something like that.
2006-12-04 13:34:35 · update #3
Could try talking less and listening more. Tough to do, I realize, but try it.
2006-12-04 13:27:50 · answer #1 · answered by Scott M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you two were just NOT meant to be "best friends" there has got to be good qualities that each of you see in one another and if those qualities can not override the negative emotions both of you share it could be time to call it quits. A friendship is a hard thing to lose, but if it means a happier future for both of you maybe that would be the ideal situation. She might have a listening problem and that might be what is making you frustrated. If she can not listen to you when you're speaking of something serious, then how much a friend is she really being? try to get advice from people closer to you.. if you can not do that, then i'm sure people here can help you! hope you can work things out! good luck
2006-12-04 13:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by LoveYouJoseph 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are simply not good at listening. Not to toot my own horn, but I've been told many, many times I should be a counselor. I listen, empathize, offer solutions. But when I am down and need someone to talk to....*poof*...everyone's too busy to hear it. I don't take it personally any more because I wanted to know why this always happened. It's probably not you...it's just that some people do not have the patience to listen to other's problems.
Who will counsel the counselor? YOU will, of course.
2006-12-04 13:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by mickeyg1958 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is strange that your only like that around her it seems...right? But anyways, I think you should talk one on one with her somewhere with no distractions and tell her how you feel...make sure that you try to say your words carefully because it seems she always thinks your pointing negative things to her and getting her angry,no offense. So try not to do that. If that doesn't work then maybe you should try slowly not being so close to her. Not tottally ditching her but slowly stepping away.
2006-12-04 13:50:04 · answer #4 · answered by DreamfullAngel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you only get this way with her? maybe you have anger management issues. the good thing is that you are aware of a probelm. just try and count to 5 before you open your mouth and say something hurtful. if you haven't already, apologize for your behavior. then try to laugh at it, if you feel yourself getting tense with anger, try to crack a smile, or just growl in a funny way so you can try to step back and lighten up.
2006-12-04 13:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by cami 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cant change people...................They are what they are now and forever.A what you call your best friend is a person 100% who they are you don't try to change them you stand with them if they need you give but it works both ways if she is your best friend also.I don't understand why people think they need BEST FRIENDS we as people don't need best friends to live.We need people to talk to ,to help us when we need help,to console us when we are down but not best friends.People that get that close to call each other best friends needs to be husband and wife this is the way we live,not live apart.I will say again we cant change people,that don't want to be changed so stop trying all you will get is someone mad at you or you man at her,just take her as is and get on with your life.
2006-12-04 13:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by Douglas R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like maybe you need to spend some time apart. Then you may appreciate each other's thoughts and opinions more fully. Good luck!
2006-12-04 13:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my friend does this to me. and i throw negative comments at her. and i tell her that i hate her. etc.
im not 100% sure what you should do about it. but if you are trying to rid of those negative comments toward her, then you should just stop talking to her about personal things. then she wont feel like that. etc.
2006-12-04 13:39:51 · answer #8 · answered by bella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like yall are good friends... there is no reason to discontinue your friendship, but it does sound like you need to find someone new to talk to about serious matters...
2006-12-04 13:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋