Coming out..?

Question

How?

A lot of people saying it depends on my situation so..

My family is the most anti-LGBT you can get. I told my best friend and my sister, and it didn't quite work out too well. But im sick of having to look like im interested in guys when im not, should I just slowly let people in? Thanks so much for helping!

Don't even mention religion please, I don't have ANYTHING to do with it, no offense, but im not or ever will be christian or anything else

Answer 1

When I was in the closet I was very scared to tell anyone in my family. My mother was the first to know, it was the hardest thing I ever did! She said that she already knew, for some reason mothers always know. Its just a lot of the deny it, and don't want to believe it! But they do know! After I told my mother, it was a few years before I told my grandmother. Now I'm 100% out, and no longer scared that my family mite find out, because they all know, and I haven't lost anyone! But most of all come out on your own time and not before you are ready! Also that it will take time for them to get use to you being gay, just like it did with you! Not all familys are the same. Just keep in mind someone else out there has it worst off then you! Keep your chin up, a positive mind, and you will make it through this! -Timothy
PS If you need someone to talk to, or help, there is many of us out here that can help you! You can reach me at [e-mail]

Answer 2

Think about the consequences of coming out. If it will get you kicked out and living on the streets, you'd probably be best to get a car and money for a place to stay before coming out. Minimize the risk of something really bad happening, and then come out. Some ways of minimizing risk are providing resources to help them understand and accept your sexuality. Do it when they're in a good mood and not already angry about something. Make sure you're ready for the consequences of what they might do.
Then again you could just stop pretending and if the subject comes up it comes up. Something like:
Mom: "Have you found a boyfriend yet?"
You: "There's this girl I like in science class. I'm thinking about asking her out sometime."
Try to act like it's not really a big deal and hope it doesn't turn into a major issue. This is a LOT riskier in a conservative household though...

Answer 3

don't stay in a pray like that one person said. that just leads so self defeat and unhappiness. praying is for people who can't do things themselves or who dont want to think themselves. Tell your dearest friends first, that way you know who your true friends are, and you can leave those who are not behind and start a new future without them. Then tell your family. Because if your family doesnt accept it, which they should hopefully, then you always have your friends to lean on. More than likely no one is going to freak out and tell you to leave them alone. It's a new day and age, people are becoming more excepting. Besides, you were born that way, you should be who you truely are inside instead of what society and ignorant people want you to me. Be you! and nothing less than you! Good luck hun, everything will work itself out!

Answer 4

It depends to who, and how they know you,
Owning YOU is the first step. Coming out to yourself is the foundation to moving forward.
Then develop a network of friends or other gay people so you have a sense of connectivity and you are not alone if things get bad.
Lastly tell your family. I say that because most people I know struggle with homosexuality. You know your family & if you think they will be understanding then I would go to them first.

The point is Know You...Trust You...Be strong and committed to You first.
Don't leave a note or bring home a date. Just sit people down and say "here is the deal..." Just don't do it until you are ready to deal with any ramification.

One of my good freinds who would be considered a "flaming fag" came out to his parents when he was 14 (this is about 25 years or more ago). It took him a week to tell his parents he was so nervous. SO, when he tells them they burst out laughing!! He of course was devistated, his mom noticed his reaction to their laughter and she said 'Micheal, we have known you were gay since you were 5 years old! We wondered when you would figure that out."

It dosn't sound like your family is going to react this way...So, agian find a network of support for yourself. There are MANY gay groups out there!! Find your nitch...then worry about your family.

Answer 5

Give everyone time. I'm sure it took you some time to accept how you felt, so give them the same consideration. When I came out, it was hard on my family because of their expectations for me and their religion, but three years later, they've shown that they still love me like they always have, and they love my girlfriend, too. Don't be confrontational, just take your time and understand that there is very little you can do to make it easier for them, other than talking about it.

Answer 6

I came out through a letter. I knew my family weren't going to take to it to kindly because of religion but it is something I had to do.

I kept it secret for a while and only told my older sister. She was ok about it. You have to feel comfortable within yourself. I became comfortable about 3 months after I starting dating my girlfriend.

I wrote a letter because we've always been told if we had something to say and found it hard or was worried about leaving something out then put it on a letter. Needless to say i was worried about leaving stuff out so I wrote it down.

I just said that this is who I was. It doesn't change me or the fact that I love them - which I have never been able to tell my family before. I said I was so unhappy in the straight world and now I feel truly myself because I admitted it to myself.

Answer 7

I am heterosexual and never had to "come out". Why do you feel you need to tell peole about private behaviors? Just do what you think is moral and if your parents disinherit you, then you suffer the consequences because you made a decision to act in this manner. Remenber though, that when you age, you will have many regrets.

Answer 8

Well it depends on how well your friends/Parents will take it. If you think they do not like GLBT people then you shouldnt unless you are already out of the house. Or if you already are (dont know how old you are) then just tell them.

Answer 9

I am not gay, but I do have gay friends. Its about when you are ready to face the world as a gay person. You can come out as much, or as little as you choose; but realize once you come out, you cannot go back in and your life will change dramatically.
Have strength and good luck.

Answer 10

be honest, be brave and be prepared to lose friends and family, if they truly cannot accept you then you will have to accept that as much as it hurts. hopefully they will come around in the mean time find some support groups or someone that will back you up.