Husband too selfish?

Question

Here is my question: I have been working and supporting my husband and son for 4 years by myself. He finally gets a job now he is acting "smart" running around saying he needs to have a "night out" 2-3 times a week! I have to foot the bill for this "night(s) out" and I am sick of it. Am I in the wrong here or do you think he is selfish and acting immature?

Answer 1

Well I can say he is being immature. But when you are the bread winner there are times when we become controlling. Now don't get me wrong because I admire the fact that you did what you had to do. You are truly a remarkable individual. You know your husband though. Is he excited because he got the job?? Is it that where he works that going out is a natural occurance?? Or is it you miss the fact that he is no longer in the household?? The simple thing is to stop financing the nights out. Easier said than done I know but you work hard for your money and you seem to think that there has to be more responsibilty.

So with that being said, I think that your husband might be cutting lose because he has been unemployed for 4 yrs. If it is an issue of going out 2-3 nights look for a compromise. Maybe if you all can talk and you say something like I don't mind if you go out with the co workers once in awhile (1 every two weeks) it might go a long way. Also see about maybe joining him out and find out what the big deal is. My point is that don't make this an arguing issue, be the responsible person that you are. But if there is no compromise, then you gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe separate accounts to get his attention, etc. This is a tough situation but I just think that you got to bring him up to your level.

Good Luck

Answer 2

NO you are not wrong and YES he is definately selfish and immature !!! You supported him for 4 yrs now it's his turn to repay you for all your support. Did you go out 2 or 3 times a week ?? I'd say not !! You just tell him to stop acting like a selfish jerk or you'll quit your job and he can support you and his son for a change. That should stop all his nonsense. Good luck

Answer 3

Then you need to make up your mind to stop supporting your husband and support your son and yourself.

For the life of me I do not understand why a woman with any kind of brain to think with would put up with disrespect from anyone.

It is up to you hon. Do you love him enough to live with it or do you see better things for you and your son. Your son deserves the best possible upbringing he can be given. A father expecting his one night a week or even is taking himself away from a child one night a week or more id selfish and greedy because that child is going to grow up much too fast. This child deserves much more than it sounds like he is getting right now. He does not deserve to be between you and your husbands problems. Your child was a gift to you, take care of him.

You have to be the decision maker here, not us.

Answer 4

To start off with i think that he should be supporting you and your kid more instead of letting you do all the work. He needs a night out? I think that he should take you out a few times a week. He's wrong, he should be responsible and he is acting immature.

Answer 5

Who says you have to foot the bill for him hon? Time to put that foot down. Tell him you need to go out 2-3 times a week and make him foot your bill for once and see how he reacts. Sounds like a selfish jerk to me. Its HIS job to provide for his family. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Yeah he's a little on the immature side of the fence, but please don't make a habit of throwing in his face the fact that you supported the family for how every many years. In a marriage you guys are a team, and if one can't, the other does. If you have some issues with him, about his not working then resolve them in therapy or something, but don't ever throw that in your husbands face. It's disrespectful. He's still a man, and you don't have to love him, but you must reverence him.

Answer 7

Men are very good at turning things around and making you feel you are the one who is wrong. Don't let him do that to you,he knows he is wrong so what does he do.He knows by making you feel bad he gets to go out with the boys guilt free.It's time to find yourself a real man.

Answer 8

I don't understand what he needs a night out for he had 4 yrs of doing nothing...I definitely wouldn't pay or give him money to hang out...If you have vacation time or something I would take it and tell your husband you quit your job and its his turn to take care of you for a little while b/c you are burnt out from all the pressure of taking care of everything for so long. He's definitely being selfish and you should protect yourself financially and don't allow him to continue to burden you...If push comes to shove I would kick him out, b/c you definitely don't need him, until he learned his lesson and appreciated you.

Answer 9

Well you've been a doormat for 4 years, so now I guess he figures his paycheck is his play money. Kick that loser to the curb, he's not worth the space he is taking up.

Answer 10

he is just turning the tables on women. stay at home moms/wives do the same thing except it is daily trips to wal-mart, weekly trips to the hair dresser, and to the day spa's and nail salons. its about time a man got to show a woman how it feels. shut up and take it as u would expect him to do if the tables were turned. remember u promised to love him for better or worse, richer or poorer and in sickness and in health.