Human's Disturbance
Sitting by the water's edge,
Watching the world go by,
While wild, rugged waves
Pound against the shore.
As the sun sets the makr of night,
I watch the aurora shimmer above.
Wolves howl mercilessly,
Their cries resounding from afar,
As a cool, swift breeze
Carries on from the ocean.
But even the most wonderful things
Are never meant to last.
Ships disrupt nature's peace
As a deep foghorn blows,
Waking those asleep.
Nature does know best,
Yet still we interfere.
We try too hard to change
What needn't be altered .
Go enjoy it now
For soon, it may be too late,
And have changed forevermore.
Please give me too the point, no beating around the bush criticism. Point out what you like and dislike, how I could improve it, etc..Detailed, honest answers are appreciated. Be honest & frank without being rude. Thanks! :)
2006-12-04 12:04:09 · 3 answers · asked by Jennah 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Pretty good, but there are a few cliches that I probably would try to modify... "watching the world go by..." "resounding from afar"... things like that. Also, I think that the ending is too straightforward for my tastes -- I enjoy poetry that leaves you pondering, not tells you straight out what to think.
You've got a great start; good luck!
2006-12-04 12:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i like poems that rhyme but also ones that have meening i liked it after i read it 3 times but it was har to understand the meeings behind the words try n make it rhyme and other than that it was good
2006-12-04 20:08:06 · answer #2 · answered by joellacrosse 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well hey it sounds like youve got a gift maybe try sending one in some time
2006-12-04 20:06:00 · answer #3 · answered by Taylor M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋