Last year I got a vasectomy, and did it because I wanted to, and really didn't talk it over with my wife, even though she signed the concent form, I think she resents me for it, because I know she has wanted more kids. I admit I was being selfish, but I have a feeling that she might resent me because I think about her feelings about it.
What do you all think?
2006-12-04 11:53:26 · 20 answers · asked by Bryan M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have 3 kids, and I had it done thinking, of the financial situation, I wasn't sure if we could afford to have another baby. I wish I could go back in time and not have it done. Because her and I want to have another baby. I have admitted to her that I was wrong for not talking it over with her.
We are having issues in our sex life right now and I think my not talking it over with her may have something to do with it.
2006-12-04 12:04:18 · update #1
she may be hurt more than anything by the fact that you didn't really talk it over with her before you had it done. you need to talk to her about this, and ask her what she's been feeling. it's been a year now, and this is still an unresolved issue between the two of you. just talk to her, and ask her to open up to you. and you open up to her. communication is very, very important in making a marriage work. the sooner the two of you sit down and have a heart to heart talk, the sooner you can both get back the honesty and closeness that all married couples need.
I wish you the best. and if you ever decide to, vasectomies can be reversed!
2006-12-04 12:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by atiana 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My brother did the same thing, Went and had a vasectomy, his wife knew but was not happy about it at all, she did sign the consent form too, but she figured it would blow over and wouldn't have it done..but the day came and he did..She was pregrent with there first child..He had 2 other children from a previous marriage..He was almost 40 at the time...She did resent his decision to have it done..But if she didn't want him to do it why sign the consent form? I think as a couple they should have talked way more about it..there no turning back it done..You 2 need to openly discuss this...I wish you the best of luck
2006-12-04 20:27:14 · answer #2 · answered by Shem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it was selfish I'm sorry i don't it does take allot of money and Patience, If you are the only one working and supporting her and 3 kids then you made the right chose and if you wish you didn't have it done get it reversed you can you do know that right? I really don't know if she works or not i am just guessing???? Money is well needed I have 2 kids and I am a women who don't work my husband does and i want him to get one done I don't want no more kids 2 is enough for me!!!!
2006-12-04 20:07:39 · answer #3 · answered by tonyad143 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you already have children, and she signed the consent form. She may resent you for not discussing it with her, but you certainly didn't do anything wrong! Treat her to a regular night out and sttart bringing home flowers--make sure she has vases to put them in! Give her some extra tender care and let her know you love her.
2006-12-04 20:07:18 · answer #4 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk..talk...talk...
3 kids are an incredible responsibility, then add you 2 adults here..
you can always adopt...if needs want more children...
maybe & speaking as a woman , & only for myself,..I felt a tremendous loss when at 28 I had my 2nd & what I knew was my age limit . I was done with & happy with, 2 girls..but..
it was like postpartum depression...knowing there was no going back..this was my limits, 2 children, & the first at 23, I said no more after 28 ( 2nd one lucky to be here...)
talk...enjoy your kids, your family..you have a lifetime with 3 , then the grandkids to come..?
2006-12-04 20:50:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may. The only person that would 100% know the answer to your question is her. So, you need to settle down & just ask her point blank if it bothers her & if she's mad at you for it or resents you for it. If she wanted more kids, chances are she's disappointed but she's probably not resentful as you think she is.
2006-12-04 20:04:00 · answer #6 · answered by Jason E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. I did the same thing to my hubby. I had my tubes tied after only one child. He was not happy at the time, but I was the primary caregiver, and I decided that one was enough. He and I both ended up becoming too busy AND financially unstable for more kids, and now he is happy. I am not sure of your situation- is she helping with the child(ren)? You have to talk it through. Ask her to be honest about her feelings, and expect the worst.
2006-12-04 19:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by "Chreece" 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have to sign a consent form for my husband to get a Vasectomy.
Anyway. The surgery is easily fixable in the first year. Go talk to your Doc.
2006-12-04 20:07:46 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably does resent you. What can she do about it now? The two of you should talk about it, and she should realize that trying reversal of the procedure is not really worth it. Ask her what she wants you to do. Don't forget to say "I'm sorry" as you know chicks dig that.
2006-12-04 19:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by tbonz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have gotten her take on the matter prior to having her sign the form,but ultimately she wasn't forced to sign the form. I mean unless you had a gun to her head, she made the decision to sign it, if she's harboring ill feelings now towards you she needs to grow up and accept her decision to sign away her chances of having more children with you.
2006-12-04 20:03:23 · answer #10 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋