your boyfriend hates your bestfriend because she is a lesbian and does not like her being around you.He gives you an ultimatum, her or him.... who do you choose and why?
2006-12-04 11:45:56 · 47 answers · asked by tallie18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, No, No, No - don't be letting anyone tell you who you can and can't be friends with!!!!! If you let him make decisions like this now then he will be doing it forever!!!!!
Stand up for yourself girl and give HIM the ultimatium of either 'keeping out of your business - if he don't like something then thats HIS problem' OR, 'If he can't handle HIS problem then he can get the hell out of there'!!!!!
Besides, I bet you any money this bloke wont leave you, you normally find that blokes that give ultimatiums are very weak (as proven by trying to make you scared by the threat of leaving you if they dont get their own way)
Men can take alot of training, some of them pick it up real quickly, but others need to be p****d on a few times to find out who is dominant and in control!! Dont let your man p**s all over you - you show him YOU are BOSS!!!!
2006-12-04 12:01:25 · answer #1 · answered by niccilicci 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No one should be giving you an ultimatum... your boyfriend is just gonna have to learn to live with that fact that you have a lesbian friend... the main reason he does not want her around is most likely insecurity... some guys dont like competition even from another female.
2006-12-04 11:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by marisanj 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Can't answer your question as I'm not you inside your shoes with your feelings.
1: It depends on how much you value your friend and that relationship.
2: If he is dictating and laying down ultimatums, how do you feel about that?
3: If you were to be without one of them, which would you miss the most?
4: Which relationship do you think is the most healthy and valuable?
Sorry, but best of luck.
Sash.
2006-12-04 12:53:24 · answer #3 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dump him, if you must choose. Firstly, if you're okay with gay people but he's not, then you should stand up for your beliefs and resist his ultimatums. Secondly, what kind of man would force his girlfriend into such a painful decision in the first place? He obviously has little or no respect for your feelings- get rid of him. Thirdly, don't you have a moral obligation to stand up for the people you call your friends?
2006-12-04 11:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by Jim 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would definitely tell you to pick the best friend.... In my life and my experiences I have learned that boyfriends/girlfriends really do come and go.... but friends, especially best friends, are around a lot longer.... plus, if he's going to be ignorant enough to give you and ultimatum like that, he really has a lot of growing up to do and you could do a lot better!
~A~
2006-12-04 11:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by Sizeable Scars 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No choice required
Any "friend" who gives you an ultimatum, in my experience, is feeling very insecure either within the relationship or within themselves...there really is no difference. With compassion, ask them about their feelings, their fears, their hopes and dreams. Then BE QUIET and really hear them without thinking what to say next or reacting to what they do say. If something is not clear as to meaning, ask him or her what they "mean".
If you are sincere, express to them your respect, admiration and heartfelt Love - connection.
If that does not heal the wound of their fear, wish them well and take time to understand how you would attract an experience with someone who wants to place limitations on you.
You can create better - even Heaven on Earth in this life
2006-12-04 11:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can choose your boyfriends whenever you want but your friend has been there for you probably a long time and should not be brushed aside as you may need her after the idiot has left you for something else that he does not like about your life. Seems like a controling type of person to me. I know who I`d choose.
2006-12-04 12:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by dnlrawson 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He maybe having a problem because he thinks you may cheat on him with her.
Besides that -- now that I think about it -- pick your friend.
Boyfriends should not be giving ultimatums on who your friends can be unless they are bad for you. This ultimatum is a way of trying to control you -- what will be next.
2006-12-04 11:51:07 · answer #8 · answered by JB 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think this means he is insecure. If you give him no reason do doubt that all you two have is a friendship - he has no reason to enlist this ultimatum.
I am married, and my best friend is a lesbian. My husband has never felt threatened by our friendship. He knows that it is just that.
2006-12-04 11:48:28 · answer #9 · answered by Stasi 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
which one is more important to you?if she's your best friend you should always be there for you but boyfriends can come and go. You need to find a boyfriend that understands and supports you. If your best friend is a lesbian then he should know that he can't change her and should be willing to be friends with your friends too. If the boyfriend loves you, care for you and really want to be with you, you shouldn't have to decide who to be with.
2006-12-04 11:50:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋