Is it time to have the talk about sex with my 9yr. old son?

Question

My 9yr. has been caught at school drawing body parts and I've found searches where he's tried to find celebrities naked, I'm not a preud when it comes to the human body I'm pretty free but I just want to take a joke on is it time for the sex talk or should I hold off, I'm thinking of taking the bibical route telling him how sin came into the world and we have to wear clothes but we all love the human body school just isn't where we talk about it what do you think?

I'm taking a vote not a joke my 9mo. old likes to help type..........lol

Answer 1

You know his maturity level, what he can grasp now, and what for later. The Biblical perspective is always good, since it puts sex in a godly, respectful, marriage-oriented perspective. It is unfortunate that we can't keep our kids innocent until they start puberty, but that is American and world society. We parents are forced to keep several steps ahead of the game. There are Christian books out there to assist parents in this delicate subject area. Go to your local Christian book store, and ask one of the clerks for opinions on what seems to get the best comments from parents that shop there.

Whatever you do, please try and keep your son from getting close to the influence of porn. Porn drew in Ted Bundy. He was only 13, but he became addicted at a young age and could not satisfy his urges. Porn destroys marriages and individuals. It's a good parent that can nip this invader in the bud before it can take root in their child's soul.

You sound like a good parent - now show your son the proper way to understand the sexual side of us humans. Blessings!

Answer 2

They start the birds and the bees classes in school at about this age.

I would lay down the facts for him, but leave the Bible out of it. If he sees sex as being the "forbidden fruit", that may make him more interested in getting it on as soon as he's able to get wood (which isn't too far off, either). The Bible is a great lesson, but don't lecture him on it. Just leave a little story about David and Bathsheba around, or a story about how God destroyed Sodom and Gommorha.

Tell him the scientific facts, first, and then make sure that he knows how AIDS affects the human body, or what syphillis, herpes, and warts can do to his, um, parts. Make sure that he sees what the average teenager makes at a part-time job vs. how much it costs to raise a baby.

He's going to have sex while he's a teen. These days, it's almost inevitable. However, with the proper education, he can be responsible while he's having it, too.

Answer 3

"I've found searches where he's tried to find celebrities naked"

My first question is why your son has access to a computer with no child proofing. He's only 9 and probably hasn't even started to enter puberty and certainly doesn't have the maturity or intellect to deal with the things he might find on the computer.

When it comes to talking about sex, let him ask the questions. Answer as simply as you can and if he wants more information, let him ask. At age 9, kids generally just want to know the basics. They're getting information at school and boys are getting lots of attention when they draw "sexy" pics for their friends to giggle over. The fact that he's drawing the body parts doesn't necessarily mean he's curious about them.

I think you're on the right track with your "school just isn't where we talk about it" talk for now but I'd also ask if he has any questions. I'd also get a good child blocking program for my computer if I were you. Our computer is in the living room with the monitor facing out into the room. No one in the family has privacy on the computer (not even the adults) and it's worked very well for us. I think when families place a computer out of sight, it can be a real temptation for kids to look up things they shouldn't be seeing.

Answer 4

You don't want to take that biblical route for sure, just go with the "we all have to wear clothes but we all love the human body school just isn't where we talk about it", but he will be learning more in health class at which time he could ask more direct questions on what he is curious about. Also, there are plenty of books on how to . . . . . with your children. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I think now is definitely the time. I think curiousness is slipping in or is there full blown. I do think that the biblical route is the best, because you are teaching him right from wrong from the start of the rights and wrongs. I definitely suggest you read well into it and be prepared, then when you talk to him, you don't get any surpise questions. Ask him if he has any questions, and tell him you are open to further discussion if he needs them.

Answer 6

I think you should. My parents never talked to me about sex or anything along those lines. I didn't know what a penis looked like until I was fifteen with my first boyfriend, whom I have married and been with forever. I knew what sex was but I didn't really know exactly. I was really shy about the subject with them and didn't ask for birth control until a year after I lost it. I could have ended up as a teen pregnant girl. So you should definitely talk to your kids about those subject matters so they wont be curious when it comes time.

Answer 7

i dunno if you should have the sex talk but make sure u and ur son communicate openly
im pretty sure he knows what sex is the TV and internet have covered that for you and even the school systems will cover the basics but its better to make sure your son is able to come to you with his problems without you over reacting
there are too many teens at the age of 13 having sex and doing it behind there parents back for fear of what there parents will do or say

i waited till i was 18 and i told my parents when i got home they werent upset and they buy my 17 year old brother condoms all the time ( he killed his v chip at 15 ) and they put me on the pill at an early age just to be safe

ive never lied to my parents but that is because i trust them

Answer 8

uh no because 9 is a tad way too young to for a 9 year old to learn about sex. all you have to do is tell your son drawing body parts is wrong and dont do it in school or he would get in trouble.

Answer 9

I would discuss only to the point he can understand. I think you should have started sooner but he is just being curious so if you can make him feel that he needn't be embarassed perhaps he will ask you questions.

Answer 10

Go to the library and ask the Children's librarian for some books.
They have several, from "Where did I come from?" to "On the day you were born". You can choose one with his level of understanding, and have references for him to give to the other kids. (Don't think they don't talk about it!)