I can not stand my husband's mother, because she is a member of the modern-day Ku Klu Klan. Please, help?

Question

I have a SERIOUS PROBLEM with my mother-in-law being a member of the modern-day Ku Klux Klan. I often think that had I not been white and blonde, she may of never accepted me marrying her son. Anyway, originally, I am from Boston and I knew all kinds of WONDERFUL people from different races:) I just CAN NOT STAND to be around my mother-in-law and hear things like....."The main reason for all the crimes in America is because of the black people in the ghettos.....the Jews have control of all the big corporations.....Hispanics are coming here illegally and getting a free ride from from our government" TRASH like that she says. I have told my husband I do not think I want to associate with his mother anymore by this point (and we have been married 8 years) because I get SO SICK of her IGNORANCE!!!!! What should I do about this? Should I ex-communicate his mother from me? I have tried to be close to her, but these racists issues keep us seperated. What do I do here?

Oh, yes, my husband is 100% agreeing with this decision if I make it. The thing is if I seperate myself from his mother, he will be seperated from her, too. My husband is NOT a racists, either, and LOVES ALL PEOPLE!!!!!:) I just can not help to feel giulty that I would be responsible for seperating my husband from his mother. What do I do? What is the right decision here? This racistsim has caused SO MANY problems.....please, give me suggestions?

Answer 1

Oh man! I really hope this question is for real and not just made up to elicit some sort of emotional device.
I think you should have a intervention. I think over all you should have a professional come in an assist you with this issue. Get a group of people who also feel at odds with your mom-in-law's point of view and share with her how it hurts and effects your family.
I, for one, would tread softly, you never know what type of pull this KKK may have in your area. If you try to fight fire with fire you may just get burned. Don't try to upstage this woman, try to bring her into the light, oh and the 21'st century while your at it.

Answer 2

Well, don't you have free will or are you just looking for a reason to get rid of your husband's mother?

Our future daughter-in-law tells everyone in the family she doesn't get along with her parents because they adopted an African American child. Ya know what I did, told her it's wrong to discriminate against people and she threw a fit and called me every name in the book. She has free will and can think any way she choose however, I don't feel threatened by her beliefs. But, I do see her spreading hatred all over the family and I don't see our son doing anything about any of us or his child being exposed to this.

I've seen words like disown...ex-communicate....get rid of etc See nobody owns anyone so how can you disown someone you don't own? Ex-communicate is the same as discriminate(people who don't talk to people because...) so IMO better find out how love really works and what it isn't.

The get rid of thing I see on this sight.....is that the same as a woman aborting or a mother throwing her child in a garbage bin....come on it's all the spread of hatred. Your husband needs to talk to his father if this is truly going on.

Answer 3

It seem as if your mother has some issues, The best thing I can think of is try telling her that you don't want that kind of talk around your kids are in your house, be nice about it, but if she still acts like that then don't deal with her, it's good to see that there are people out there like you that will stand up for what is right, but like I said let her know how you feel about it. Also talk to your husband and let him know how you feel.

Answer 4

Two recommendations 1) tell your MIL how her comments make you feel and that it bothers you so much that you may not be able to associate with her if she continues to behave this way(remember you won`t change her thoughts, just her behavior) 2) you cannot include your husband in this decision. He has a right to a loving relationship with both of you and in support of you he will visit his mother on his own. Remember this is your problem not his.

Answer 5

OK look, I don't know much about anything, but I do know this, people like your mother- in- law are obtuse people, they can't understand what they see so they look for an easy way out and blame someone else for what is going on in the world. I ask myself the same question, why are some people so full of hate. Why are they so ignorant? I think they are affray, affray of what they can't understand. I'm Hispanic and I always see people on TV saying the same thing your mother-in-law says, and it frustrates me so much, but I'm not going to go into detail about that because there is too much to say about the subject. I'm Glad there is people like you, people that are awake and see what is going on. I think that Its all part of the system, like Jesus said, the system of things of this world.

Answer 6

When you married your husband, you married his family as well. Although he doesn't agree with her, I'm pretty certain your husband loves his mother and it would be wrong to seperated them. You can be clear with your mother-in-law that while you don't agree with her, you are still family. Make it clear at family get-together that you do not want to discuss racially charged issues, because you don't want an argument to insue. It's okay to set topics as "off-limits" in the interest of family unity. Pretend for a moment that you had a child whom you have raised to not be racist. As an adult, that child decides he or she believes like your mother-in-law. With every fiber of your being, you may hate your child's choice. But would you disown your child?

Answer 7

Your husbands opinion ? Personally I would just plain never be around such ignorance and my concern would be the influence it would have on my children. If your husband doesn't see it your way and go with your feelings on this he too should hit the road. Then again if she is the only one spouting this crapola everyone knows she is an idiot anyway. But regardless when you are in YOUR house YOU say what goes. Take charge, take power, don't be a doormat for this woman.

The foolish and ignorant fear truth.

Answer 8

Unfortunately the answer is that you should never have married into that family to begin with.
Is your husband a racist too? I can't see how he would not be having been raised by such a racist.
I feel for you. If you distance yourself from this woman you risk losing your husband. If you have kids, I certainly wouldn't let them anywhere near her without your constant supervision or she will fill their little heads with the same garbage.
Good luck.

Answer 9

2 problems with this. a million) As all of us comprehend, almost all of racists in this united states of america are liberalsdemocrats. in actuality it relatively is particularly troublesome to discover a liberal Democrats these days that isn't a racist of one form or yet another. 2) The KKK is a DEMOCRAT enterprise, and Democrats overtly celebrated and rewarded klansman Robert Byrd for some years and up till the day he died ( on a similar time as nonetheless in place of work ). which you saved Robert Byrd in place of work for for this reason long destroys your attempt to cover your racism at the back of comments like "the two events fairly replaced positions fullyyt."

Answer 10

You have a choice. You have Freedom. You may choose to not go near someone you feel is negative, OR you may .

Wether your husband or who else, gets angery at your decision or not, does not matter.

What YOU do is What Matters.