This is related to my previous question on Yahoo! Alright for those who doesn't know my situation. I have recently fallen for my next door neighbor who has just moved in recently, and I am co-landlord of the house she is living in right now. So anyways, she is a 25 year old Malaysian woman and through my eyes, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. We have talked in person before on several occasions the past few weeks. And I feel we have connected, but recently I have found out she is married to another man. However they are having some issues of their own. So my question here is, do you think I should keep on pursuing her and end up being a homewrecker or should I just let it go. I have got to admit, I was devastated when I heard the news. And no matter how much I try, I cannot ignore and deny the already existing feelings I have for her. Despite the fact she is married to another man, I still have strong feelings for her. What should I do?
2006-12-04 09:46:16 · 32 answers · asked by WilC 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And people who believe this is a matter of lust, it is NOT. I want to be with the woman not get into sexual contact with her.
2006-12-04 15:34:04 · update #1
I've been through this sort of a thing before. I dated a married man who was separated.
My advice to you is to not continue to pursue her because you might end up getting hurt. You also do not want to be her rebound guy because rebounders never last long. Based on my personal experience I strongly suggest that you find some other woman to pursue. It is true that you cannot deny your feelings for her but you don't have to act on your feelings. You may have connected to her but she is not connected to you because she is a married woman. Unless she is divorced from him do not pursue her. You are only asking to get your heart broken.
Pursue someone who is free to fall in love with you like you are free to fall in love with them.
2006-12-04 09:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Heaven26 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with others, it's going to be hard, but you have to back off. She is married and even though she may be going through some problems with her husband, it doesn't mean a green light for you to pursue her. Some married women like to confide in other men because they want to know their point of view, but try not to take it to mean that she doesn't love her husband. Just be her friend, it's the best way out of this. If anything happened between you and her, you would both be the bad guys and the whole neighborhood will frown on you.
2006-12-04 17:02:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jas K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real love, not infatuation, looks for the best interests of the loved one. If you can be there as a friend and support her through this difficult time in her marriage, while focusing on the best interests of that marriage. That's real deal love.
If you can't do that - then it is not the real deal.
Back off if you can bring yourself to have an once of compassion. Don't make a hard time any more miserable by confusing the issue.
2006-12-04 09:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by crazymamaca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally feel for you. sometimes the feeling is very strong and it's hard to manage. however, use your brain more than feelings. people here give you good advices. believe me, i have been there. i am a married woman and i have a strong feeling for another guy but i am not acting on it. i just try to enjoy the feeling and friendship and hope he'll find some girl soon so I don't have to think about him all the time. good luck & make the right decision!
2006-12-04 10:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a joke. It's called infatuation not love. How old are you, 16? You can't love someone you have never even really gotten to know. Ever heard of karma? You are building up so much bad karma with this it is not even funny. Stay away from her!
Do this: Tell her that you are extremely attracted to her and if she ever becomes available you'd like to get to know her better. Until then stay away.
2006-12-04 09:51:55 · answer #5 · answered by javelin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should walk away for now. She is married,even though they are having difficult times, she's still married. If she feels the same for you then let her leave her husband on her own terms. Then see if it would work. But do not pursue this any further till she is single.
2006-12-04 09:52:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but nine times out of ten they usually solve their problems; meaning it would be wiser for you to go to greener pastures and don't feel bad that you fell in love with her; sometimes love has no bounds.
I once fell in love with a married man (he never knew) and it was the most up lifting feeling I ever felt. If any thing remember the emotion of love, yes, even if it doesn't work out.
2006-12-04 09:52:13 · answer #7 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, she is married. That means she is not available. For you to butt in makes you a home wrecker. If she is having some issues in her marriage then let them play out. If she ever becomes available then its your turn to make your move. Tread cautiously though, if she is in a bad relationship you are an outlet for something stressful. Meaning she may not be crazy about you as you may be into her. What ever happens good luck.
2006-12-04 10:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by Tias 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you know you love the married man? are you seeing him? have you spent much time with him? how do you know he loves you? people often confuse the feeling of excitement or infatuation with love. maybe you are just attracted to him or find him interesting and new. before you break up your marriage, and his, you should ask yourself some questions. do you really want to change 4 peoples lives? if you love your husband, i suggest talking to him about this and going for some therapy. maybe the 2 of you just need to work on your relationship. especially if you have kids.
2016-03-13 03:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go, hon. There are always temptations, and always will be. Respect her marriage, her vows and her husband.... would you like it if she were your wife, cheating on you???? Let them solve, or unsolve their problems without you being in it..... If/ when she is free, ahhhh, another matter. But don't get involved and make a marriage "crowded"....Those kinds of things just don't work out.... Back off, sweetie, and find women who are available.... this one is taken, pure and simple... And this kind of stuff can just rot into the most devistating of situations.....Everyone gets hurt -- big time, and you most of all..... You asked
2006-12-04 10:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋