did i do the right thing i took him a divorce form?

Question

he has been cheating on me for so long now & now are wondering why? he supposely told his mom he's only signing because i am the one that wants it! i left his house about 3 months after 5mon of him going out, later on i found out he had been cheating with his so called bestfriend wife for 10mon now. i have tried 2 move on but cant its been really hard 4me! now he tells his mom that i want this, his parents didnt even bother 2 call our girls 4thanksgiving. i have gone out to clubs just to have a little fun with girlfriends all of a sudden i am the one doing everything bad going outhere 2 see who i meet. i have begged so many times to work things out! He treats me like i am worth nothing! Xmas is arround the corner & its hard 4me & my girls to act like everything will be okay one day! Mean while he is enjoying his life w-his mistress! What about me & the girls i have begged & now i am the one the wants a divorce he obviously dnt want a marriage rgt? i just need ur thoughts

Answer 1

He is a spineless asshole. He wants a divorce or he would not be signing or acting like a selfish cheater. He simply wants to put the blame and finality of it on your shoulders. Move on!!!!!!! I cannot tell you how much happy you will be in time to come. Don't settle for this idiot....there are great men out there waiting for you!

Answer 2

You sound a little confused. Sometimes, it is better to do things in a gradual systematic way, so you know you are sure you are doing the right things and you can explain them to all the significant others in your life (including your children down the road if they ask questions). Here is a stratagy, and it may not be too late to go back and start over.
1. Finding out about cheating is psychologically painful and devistating. However, these emotions can cause you to "react" and strike back (counter-attack) and can confuse everyone about who is the real problem in the situation.
2. The first thing should be to confront him and find out from him his side of the story, his reasons, his excuses, what are the needs that are driving him to do whatever he admits to. Also, find out what (if anything) he wants you to do.
3. The next thing is to identify the "passive" consequences of what he admits doing. For example how will his behavior effect his relationship with you and others.
4. If you can or cannot get a resolution plan and commitment from him, you must determine what you will do if his behavior does not change. You must be careful in chosing this. Two rules apply here. 1. It must be something that you can live with. If you say you will do something, and then you don't, you will lose respect. 2. It must be something that is fair and will make him think twice before continuing in this behavior. It must not be out of anger with threat. I must be for your own good and self-interest and shows you are being thoughful and responsible.

5. You must communicate with family and friends about all the issues, so that people will align themselves on your side. You will need all the support you can get. He will feel the pressure from others if he continues on the wrong path. Remember, people don't easily change. Pressure from family is a major force, he is probably trying to blame you because of this pressure.

These are elements of communication stratagies from two sources that I recommend you read and study. I will list them below. You can purchase them from Amazon.com for just a few dollars.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Youre probably right. No one will ever understand what makes a married man do these things. But it really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks, the two of you know the real reason why you want the divorce. He can keep right on going thru life lying to himself but then hes the one who is fooloing himself. Your best bet is to file for the divorce on grounds of adultery and sue him for everything youre legally entitled to. You will be awarded custody of your girls along with the house,child support and possible spousal support. I understand that this is not exactly the best time of the year to break up a family but you cant go on like this with this guy either. It sounds like you have given everything to save this marriage but he just doesnt care. What goes around will come around and in his case it cant come fast enough, but it will. Then he will realize exactly what he lost and may even try to come back but send him packing. Good luck

Answer 4

My ex roped his cousin into helping him move. I came home and they're carrying the sofa out. I said No Way. He had not mentioned leaving, and tried to sneak out behind my back. After they put the sofa back he spent the next, like, six months, sitting on it. He made no comment to myself or the kids unless asked a direct question..."Where's the screwdriver?" "In the drawer." after that I finally caved and told him he could leave. Now it's my fault. Oh, well. Bottom line, he could have had it all and chose not to. Just tell folks there is a reason why you want a divorce....Him.

Answer 5

Guess what, men are babies. They want everything. He can say whatever he wants about this being on you but you know what really happened. You are just going to have to be strong for your girls, they need to know how a real, strong woman acts. They need to know that you don't need a man, let alone one that doesn't respect you enough to not cheat on you. He wants to play mind games with you so you will stay, that's why he said what he did. If he wanted to work it out he wouldn't have cheated in the 1st place.
You are going to do just fine without him!

Answer 6

I know right now things seem hard, but belive it or not it does get easier. I was just like you at one ponit in my life, when my husband {now ex} was cheating on me and at first i was the one begging him not to leave, then after awhile somthing clicked for me and i got so upset that i uped and left him yjen he was the one coming back to me, but yes it was hard but you can only take so much and yes i was the bad person to his family, but i didn't care he was nothing to me and i couldv'e cared less but it took like i said awhile to reach that point, but i did and you will to, just wait and be strong. But i ment a great person who takes care of me and you will to there some 1 for everyone don't forget that.

Answer 7

Yes, you did. Stop worrying about what people are thinking and consider moving on with your life. He is a Mama's boy, who's world consist on manipulation and fabricated lies. Don't be manipulated by this guy. Don't look back, keep your head up and enjoy your freedom. Just keep yourself in check from time to time and you'll be fine.

Answer 8

Answer this Do you want your kids to see the problems you and your husband go through? Do they deserve that? I went through that seeing my parents argue fight seeing my dad go to jail and you know what because of all those things I can't remember not one good memory of my childhood. Obviously your husband doesn't love you anymore if he has to go with another woman. That also happened to me. I told myself the same thing I'm telling you. My son deserves the best in life. But,never denie your kids of there father you will only be pushing them away from you. My son has no intrest in his father and that is that I always told him that he loved him no mater what. Please be more mature than lots of young lady's who say 'If your not with me you can't see your child'. You deserve better someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve. He'll come to you don't worry.

Answer 9

you are doing the right thing, and i think you need to stop beating yourself up.

you are NOT being a good example for your girls right now. dry the tears. your husband is a horrible example to your girls as well. pick yourself up out of the self pity and have a freakin merry christmas.

Answer 10

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG ? YOU FINALLY WOKE UP! YOU DON'T NEED HIM LET HIM GO. HE'S NOT WORTH THE HEADACHE , THE HEARTACHE AND THE STRESS. THINGS WILL GET BETTER AS TIME PASSES. WHERE IS YOUR FAMILY YOU NEED THEM NOW IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FAMILY AND NO MONEY GO TO A SHELTER. THEY'LL HELP YOU GET YOURSELF TOGETHER. LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE UNHAPPY WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE. THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE JUDGING YOU TO HELL WITH THEM THEIR OPINION DOESN'T MATTER ONE WAY OR ANOTHER ITS NOT GOING TO HELP YOUR SITUATION, IT'S NOT PUTTING NO MONEY IN YOUR POCKET. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE, LET GO.