What is wrong with me???

Question

I just need some help to try and understand why I am always thinking that my girlfriend is cheating on me.

I am single at the moment and I have had one serious girlfriend last year. But whenever I was with her I felt that she was cheating on me. It is the same when I have other short-term girlfriends. I don't tell them that I think they are cheating but it is always in the back of my mind. I was bullied at school when I was younger and I'm not sure if that is a factor but I would really like some help with this situation.

I've been thinking about posting this on yahoo for a couple of weeks now and I hope you lot can come up with an answer for me.

Many thanks

It isn't a lack of confidence. At this moment I have confidence seeping out of me. And I can sense that because this is the happiest I have been in my life. But this feeling has been in me for a while.

Just to clear up any age worries I am 21.

I just want to say thanks to everyone that has answered. I have found out something about myself thanks to you guys and girls and to be honest I guessed it was me being insecure.

Now I will decide on the best course of action to take.

Once again thanks and good luck to all of you.

Answer 1

I'm wondering how old you are.

I think that if it happens with all your girlfriends at one point or another, You are just paranoid.

Are there other things you are paranoid about ever?
well, either way, you might have some sort of insecurities that you may want to address. Figure out why you are feeling this way, are they giving you any indication that they are?

Would you ever cheat? and is that the worst thing that could happen to you?
Why?
What would that mean?
Imagine for a second that it is true. Now what?
Does that prove that you are an incompetent person in some way, that you don't measure up?
What was your relationship like with your mother?
Did your mother abandon you? Did your mother leave for long periods of time without telling you, or did she give you other reasons to feel insecure when you were a child?

Work the issues out on your own, but if they are becoming bothersome, try getting a self-help book or seek therapy.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You might be experiencing insecurity issues that were brought on by the bullying that you endured in school. Though there is the possibility that they aren't related at all. Perhaps before you get into another relationship take an inventory of any expectations that you are aware of. You might be expecting to have a long-term or permanent relationship when you went into the previous ones but it is hard to say.

These are just MY opinions and I am not licensed to counsel anyone. I don't think that an open forum like this is the best place either. I would strongly recommend talking to a qualified therapist. And if you want to discuss it with me via e-mail, feel free to do so. I like to help people. Take care.

Answer 3

You've had a few answers mate, but what you have to do is work out why you're so insecure. Have any previous girlfriends cheated on you? Did your parents have a happy honest loving relationship while you were growing up? If you can answer these questions honestly then maybe you can find out why you're always accusing your girlfriend.
Then again I had the same prob as you years ago and my bf was cheating on me, so maybe it's instinct.
Hope it's not the latter tho.
Good Luck mate.

Answer 4

You seem to lack in confidence and perhaps have a low self esteem? If you are confident and happy with yourself, this will reflect on most things around you. There are confidence building courses that you can attend to help you with this and if you contact your local council, they should be able to mail you a list of evening classes. Also try something like Tai Chi which is not only relaxing but boosts the body's natural endorphins (feel good factor) Good luck

Answer 5

Probably goes back to the bullying and you have no confidence.Bullies don't realise the damage they do to peoples lives, the effects can last way into adulthood.You must get thinking that your girlfriend really likes you or she wouldn't be with you, if she wanted someone else she would be with them.Maybe you should confide your fears to her and she will reassure you it's you she wants to be with.If you feel this is a serious problem you should seek professional help.Good luck.

Answer 6

Yes I use to feel the something. Even if it does not seem like it, it is a self-esteem and a lack of confidence issue towards it. also a bit of fear of rejection (I have a huge fear of rejection). and it is something that needs to be worked on. I am a very trusting person but I still felt like they were cheating on me or they were going to cheat,and I never told them. They only way I could deal with it is to give them my full trust and not worry about it until it slips up or you see signs of them cheating. All you can do is trust them and not loose that trust because past experiences were you trusted them and they cheated.

Answer 7

Nothing wrong with you, that to me says that your insecure, dont let cunts from your child hood rule your life now, perhaps you need to learn to love your self first b4 adding a woman into the equation, and get to know the girl for longer first b4 getting with her, the longer the freindship the stronger the bond the greater the trust, hope this helps you,

Answer 8

You can have that feeling wen your girlfriend keeps a distance from you.And i think she is doing that because she feels that you are are hiding something for her.If you love someone you have to show your feelings and not hide it.Talk with her about what you feel even if it is a bad feeling.If she likes you she will understand and help you. I really hope that you will find the right one.

Answer 9

To me it sounds like you have a bit of low self esteem,and a little fear of rejection.I truly recommend that if at all possible to see a counsellor so that you can work through these issues,so that you can start to feel much better about yourself,and deal with your fear of rejection.I hope that you reclaim your self confidence real soon.

Answer 10

Man you should just stop thinking that stuff. If you can't help it get some psychotherapy to help you understand and control this problem. It could cost you a good relationship if you don't sort it out!
Good luck man!