I found out a year ago my husband had been using cocaine ,my bank account all messed up ,he almost died ,he was in rehab and quit ,lost his job we lost it all ,he will do good for even 3 months then boom relasp ,im tired of this in my life ,I love him but I cant understand how someone can harm there self so much ,his nasils are messed up ,he has aniexity everytime he used ,and it causes us problems .any input ??please dont be rude to me I have been thru hell and back again already .
2006-12-04 08:47:28 · 13 answers · asked by Holly 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He says he wants more than anything for this to go away ,but the addition has him ,he crys because he dont want to loose me I have nursed him so much tho im tired .but if he wants to stop why did he stop rehab ,he says the rehab he was in people were using while in there just covering it up so it was a waste of his time .
2006-12-04 09:15:57 · update #1
i think he needs u and i think u should stick around no matter what he is going thouhg and when u made ur vows did u really make it or was it jsut saying it out afetr the person.
my guy's uncel just passed away nad he was very close to him and now he is going through a rough time but i always try to be woth him even if he doesn't want me around. we got into fights and things like that but i know why he is doing it. sometimes i t really hurts what he is going but i think in the end he love u more then anything in the world .
i mention this acue of u and ur hobby if u saty around he'll love u more then ever after he get's over this peord of bad time.
it's okey take care of ur self and him and don't stress ur self cause it aint good 4 ur health.
good luck 4 the future.!!!!!
2006-12-04 08:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by Hally berry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never experienced anything like that personally, but if I were you, I would look into getting some support for yourself. It must be hard to support and help him when you cannot imagine doing such a thing. Don't give up on him if you truly love him. It sounds like he needs a real good kick in the pants though. Pray -Pray- Pray! God will not give you more than you can handle , though it may seem like it now. Good Luck & Happy Holidays...
2006-12-04 16:55:28 · answer #2 · answered by Maddy's Mom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Call a lawyer.
2. Don't sleep with him again. Ever. Get checked for STDs. Do not get pregnant by anyone.
Not to be harsh, but these people practically never fix their problems. They SEEM to for a while but it is there, festering in the background. If you give his rehab a fair shake and he can't fix it divorce him. Yes, he will go down , but he is whether it's with you or not. Save yourself. I am sorry this is happening to you I am currently watching my brother's life get destroyed by his cocaine-addicted wife and it ain't pretty.
2006-12-04 16:52:20 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love your husband. He probably loves you too. BUT, he loves the "high" more. He can promise, cry, swear to stop, and vow to change. It'll mean NOTHING. He will get more coke, and he WILL get high. He will stop ONLY when he decides to stop. You can keep busting your butt to help him, and it won't help- cuz he wants the "high". Face it, he's being unfaithful. Yes, that usually means another woman, but a spouse that puts ANYTHING before their spouse, is being unfaithful. As long as you stay with him, he WILL destroy your life. End it NOW. Let hubby fall as far as necessary to reach HIS rock bottom. Then, perhaps he'll quit, and and start to rebuild himself, and maybe deserve you again.
2006-12-04 17:43:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Whether you choose to stay with him or leave, you need to focus now on being "on your own." You can't count on him to change. You can't make him stop. You have no control over anything except yourself, so work on building yourself up, and developing your own resources, including financial. You may decide to stay with him, but you can't count on him being anything but a drain on you unless you protect yourself. Emotionally as well as materially. Your own survival is what you need to be most concerned with.
2006-12-04 16:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is there a support group somewhere in your area? cause thats all i can suggest.if you stay with him then that is how your life will continue.the only person that can help your husband is himself.if you stay with him.u will need people behind you to help u thru the rough times.look after yourself.good luck.
2006-12-04 16:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always remember that God will NOT give you more than you can handle...you need to think back to your wedding vows and how much they mean to you..."for better or worse".....put yourself in his position...he may not be wanting to do this...or hurt you or his family.....the love can be there but it is a problem that needs to be dealt with and he needs to be able to work on it but with alot of support. i believe it can be similar to depression, you dont want it to happen, but you cant help it and it comes anyways. if he is willing to work his hardest...i believe that he can do it with your support. but have friends to support you...female friends would probley be better so there are no attatched feelings for another man if he is helping you. but good luck and God Bless...you will get through this....
2006-12-04 16:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by College Wifey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what addiction does to some people... If you don't want to deal with any more of this, leave and don't look back. There's no reason why you have to go down with him.
2006-12-04 16:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to help him when you think he's going back into it because he'll listen to you if he loves you...if it doesnt work, i think its time for you to move on with your life
2006-12-04 16:50:36 · answer #9 · answered by Heera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
holly dump him you can do no more for him he needs to his rock bottom before he will pull him self back up
2006-12-04 16:53:14 · answer #10 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋