How do you instill self-confidence without your children feeling superior over others?

Question

I've seen some TERRIBLE poets and artists that think they're very great. I can't help but think that rearing may have played a hand. I guess that just telling your child that they're great all the time isn't the answer, either.

What are some situations that will affect a person's view of themself later on, and how should they be approached?

Answer 1

A good way to instill self-confidence in children without giving them a false sense of superiority is to compliment them on specific actions and efforts they make rather than by using generic terms of praise. In other words, if a child draws a picture, compliment him on all the hard work he put into it or ask him about his choice of colors and then tell him how surprised you were by his interesting choices or how you like his use of the color blue because it is a calming color or red because it is a vibrant color, etc... This is much better than just telling him it's pretty or telling him he's a great artist.

Similarly, when a child sits down to practice the piano or read a book out loud on his/her own, compliment her for setting a goal and sticking to it, and for learning from errors, etc... Compliment him on how his playing has progressed or how amazed you were that he figured out how to pronounce a difficult word. Compliments like these make children feel good about themselves but also encourage them to keep working hard rather than training them to feel smug about accomplishments.

In the end, it's the attention you give them that makes them feel good about themselves as much or more so than the amount of praise you heap on them. You don't have to insult a child to get him to work hard (and in fact that rarely works.) Realistic compliments coupled with encouragement can work wonders.

Answer 2

By knocking them down off their high horse with a dose of reality when what they are doing isn't good as well as building them up and complimenting them when they do well or deserve it.

the problem with people who are 'spoiled' in this way is that they have too many "yes" people around them, especially the parents, giving them a pat on the back "just for trying" when they obviously don't deserve it.

Just treat them how the real world would! knock you down (not literally of course) when you do bad, and praise when you do good!
simple as that!

Answer 3

It may help to reward humility, kindness, and teamwork with a good balance of love and praise.

Answer 4

Self confidence needs to be taught in tandem with respect for others.