I have a major problem. Ever since I've moved to Tennessee from California, I have been emotional. I have been holding all of my emotions in, but I hate Tennessee so much. I have been a straight A student from elementary school until high school, but now I just do not care. I procrastinate just to see how much I can do until I crack under pressure. I hate school. (Don't worry, I don't want to kill myself). I was Student Government president in Cali, but over here, no one knows me. They stare at me funny, and if I try befriending them, they think i am a dork or a geek. Either I'm, too Indian or too tan or too smart or to outgoing or to comfortable. Ugh. I just wish I was a blonde white chick from CA. Then I would be accepted. By the way, my parents will never let me visit a therapist because they do not believe in therapists so please do not suggest it.
2006-12-04 08:42:39 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
please help
2006-12-04 08:48:58 · update #1
I completely understand. What to do?..what to do?...
Somewhere in your school there has to be someone who is nice and could be your friend, but finding them might be difficult. Start keeping your eyes peeled for people who have the same interests as you. Maybe you could join a sports team or a club of some sort (Ugh. That's the advice that everyone gives, and it usually feels really fake. But it does seem to work). I know that in high school it was having drama club at the end of the day that got me through my classes some days.
Another thought: DON'T try to make friends with someone. Just try to have one conversation with them. It could be about something as mundane as the cafeteria food (though I wouldn't go off about how much better it was at your old school. That can really push people away). You know the conversations that you have with people that you will probably never meet again? Then, later on you can go up to them and try to get to know them better.
You say you hate Tennessee. Is that something that your classmates know? Because that could be part of the problem. If they hear that you hate where they live, they are probably going to assume that you think that California is better. They may even think that you think that YOU are better then them. It's obviously not true, but they don't have the whole story. You may have to keep those sort of comments to yourself for a while. If you're asked which you think is better, respond neutrally: "It's very different here and I'm still getting adjusted. But I'm looking forward to ______." It's an unwritten rule: You're not allowed to make fun of a place until you've lived there at least a year. ;-) In general, stay away from comments like: "In California we...", "At my old school...", Try to be positive (I know it's hard) and friendly.
Also, how assertive are you when trying to make friends? You say that you were student government president in CA, so I'm guessing that you're pretty assertive. Have you been just as assertive in Tennessee? People aren't going to flock to you to make friends. You have to go to them.
Your parents may not believe in therapists, but you could still speak to your guidance counselor (your school may even have a therapist). Ask in advance to make sure that everything you say will be kept confidential, including from your parents.
Finally, don't hold your emotions in! At least, don't let them bottle up inside you. Get a journal, punch a pillow, cry if you want to. It's alright to feel upset and frusterated. Just keep going and you'll make friends soon!
Good luck!
2006-12-04 09:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit older and went thru the similar thing. The 1 thing I should have done was to have burried my face in the books not worrying what or whom thought about me. You sound very smart and should do the right thing and study your way out of Tennessee.
Don't worry the color of your skin will hardly matter when the right bf comes along....
2006-12-04 16:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by Scott 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the south for ya, I lived in NC it was the same way I was going through the same things as you but I finnaly convinced my mom to move. Just hang in there you'll be done with school soon enough and you can move away.
2006-12-04 17:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the same thing happened to me when i moved to georgia from florida. it took me like two years to finally make a "good" friend. these country people just don't seem to like us!!!! people are so judgemental especially in places like these. try to find someone who's not from Tennessee and hang in there
2006-12-04 16:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by krazy_chic6944 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋