It's tragic that women are ACTUALLY asked this question in their real lives... and infuriating that men aren't. But women, if you HAD to choose between having a family (... entailing children, not just a husband) or having your career, which would you choose? Honestly, I'd choose my career. I'm extremely passionate about what I'm going into. What about you?
2006-12-04 08:30:16 · 22 answers · asked by Cristy 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
By this, I mean - either you go to school and follow your desired career path - or you become a stay at home mother.... As aforementioned I would wholeheartedly choose my career. Again I must mention that it is tragic that some women are still forced to answer this question in their real lives (men are not FORCED into the question, no matter how much some people want to claim otherwise). But - the point is - this is a hypothetical question and you can't choose 'both'....
2006-12-05 01:40:35 · update #1
I chose family and it worked out really well for me, but I realize it is not the answer for everyone. I have total respect for people who choose to devote themselves to their work. I think the best answer for each person is made obvious to them individually. Good luck in your career!
2006-12-04 10:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by Suzie Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family. And men have to make these choices as well nowadays. Suppose you chose the career and five years later the economy changed and you became redundant. And meanwhile the man/woman of your dreams found happiness elsewhere and you found you could not have a family. Or suppose your big-deal career took you far way and your parents died. Any worthwile career can be managed with a family but, if it came to push or shove, only family is forever. A big old desk can't give you a hug when you're devastated. A sign on an office door can't tell you that you're gorgeous when you know you've put on 40 pounds and have monthly acne. An expense account doesn't rub your back when you're tired. A staff of 40 doesn't do a thing for you when it's 1 AM and you've got the blues. A personal assistant doesn't kiss you on the forehead and say "I love you, mommy" when you've totally screwed up. What do you mean by independence: having money to spend? being treated like an adult? being able to make decisions? being respected for your ideas? That's all possible in a good marriage. You can get screwed over more often in the big bad business world, honey, because NO ONE LOVES YOU THERE! To say that men are NEVER forced into this situation is to be a bit naive. Moms die, wives die, children get ill. My husband had a brilliant executive position and could have "had it all" if he accepted a promotion to the US office. Our daughter is handicapped and no insurer would give us coverage in the glorious US of A, so he was forced to remain in Canada as he chose FAMILY needs over career opportunities. He has never regretted the decision. Men whose wives are dying of cancer often are forced to take less demanding jobs so they can have flexible schedules. Your question and subsequent added notes seem to be based on little real life experience.
2006-12-04 17:41:07 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a very tough question for some people. I, as a single parent chose to quit my job as a bookeeper and stay home with my son for the first 4 years, while at home I babysat other children so that I could have an income and also have my son with me, but also have him socialize with other children. After the 4 years, once he started pre-school I went back to work and feel that I did the best that I could. Had I had a choice to continue to stay home, I most certainly would. Children need their parents, but unfortunately, its not always feasible....as in my case, I didnot
have a choice but had to return to work, but I still managed to stay home for the first 4 years. So as you see your questions is hard to answer as so many things have to be considered and sometimes we have no choice. Hope this answers your question somewhat.Happy Holidays!
2006-12-04 16:58:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"It's tragic that women are ACTUALLY asked this question in their real lives... and infuriating that men aren't."
YEAH, THAT REALLY SUCKS THAT WOMEN GET SO MANY CHOICES WHEN MEN CAN CHOOSE THE FOLLOWING
A) Become a white collar slave
B) Become a blue collar slave
C) Become a wage slave and support a family
D)Be unemployed and be considered worthless
Don't complain about having the choice to do something, because men don't have a choice.
It would seem like a vacation to men if we could be stay at home dad's where the woman went out and worked 60 hours a week and all we had to do was take care of the kids and do the cooking and cleaning. ---Virtually no women would want that arrangement.
2006-12-04 19:00:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I would never give my fiance that choice, or make her feel that she had to choose one over the other. We've talked about it often, I know she is passionate about her chosen career, but I also know that we both want to have kids.
We're lucky enough to have enough family and friends around us to be able to make having both work. I believe that with a strong commitment, a bit of sacrifice and hard work, it can be accomplished and still have a great career and a happy normal family.
2006-12-04 20:11:41 · answer #5 · answered by exaluva 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I chose having a family over going for an education and career....and after 30 years of marriage my husband left me for another woman. Would I do it all again....you bet your a** I would. I have 3 of the world's most wonderful kids (and their equally wonderful spouses) not to mention 4 of the cutest grandkids ever born. I wouldn't trade them for anything...even if it meant I would have to go through the pain of betrayal and divorce again.
2006-12-05 00:47:02 · answer #6 · answered by SUSAN N 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would choose both. Why can't women have a family and career? The dad can stay home. There are grandma's who are getting younger and younger who can help. Lots of quality day cares. I choose both.
2006-12-04 16:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Family, I am fixing to leave my career to raise my 2 year old full-time (yes it is a job too) and we are trying to have another one. I my own opinion, this is a rewarding job too. Your are responsible as a parent how your children turn out, and my husband and I want to instill in our son how to be a good father (I think this is what is lacking in our society). I know no one could do a better job raising him than me! And you can only raise your children once!
2006-12-04 16:39:59 · answer #8 · answered by melissa b 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i love having a career and all.but i think its important to put family first.because family is the corner stone of scoiety.and because the family foundation nowadays has been corrupted by people choosing their careers over having a family so as a result the society is corrupted
2006-12-04 16:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
That was an easy choice for me in my life. I chose my career. Some people tell me that I'm selfish or foolish for not having kids. I find that ridiculous. I love children , but I don't really want to be responsible for one. It's hard enough being responsible for myself. I am 35 years old and have never heard one tick coming from my biological clock
2006-12-04 19:07:27 · answer #10 · answered by queensassey 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋