He would really like to have a baby, so do I. He has an affordable job, im in high school, of course i would finish it i only have 2 more years.. I would have all the support all i ask is that question above. Thanks.
2006-12-04 08:23:05 · 32 answers · asked by Candy_T 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Ok let me put it to you this way:
If you have a baby now, you will go from being an adolescent to a mom without a stop inbetween. It's like babies starting high school without elementary inbetween. NO, I am not calling you a baby it was an analogy.
I got pregnant at 18 straight out of HS. I missed some of the best years of my life. Sure I love my daughter but man do I wish I had waited. I missed finding my own apartment and going to college. I missed weekend get togethers at my friend's. I missed being able to travel and see the world. I missed going out to the clubs and having some drinks with my friends. I missed having fun friends who liked to shop for clothes and try on makeup. Missed being young! I missed being a young adult without anything holding me down.
Instead I got a child who took all of my time energy and love. I gave it willingly, but it is an awfully lonely life. I sold myself short of an education. I can count on one hand how many nights I've gone out without my child in the last 6 years. I can tell you countless times where I had to swallow my pride and ask my family for money. I can tell you countless times I've seen how well my friends from school are doing and I look at myself and say, "wow, I'm really not going anywhere with my life right now- but hey, I am a good mom."
Motherhood is great! Motherhood is awesome! But so is being young. Experience your early 20's. Set some goals like graduating HS and College and having a job before you have children. Unless you are prepared to give up on all of the possibilities, don't get pregnant. I look back at when I was 18 *and I got pregnant on purpose btw*, and I see how stupid I was. I was selfish and immature.
Children deserve the best. They start off as little tiny babies, but they grow into children and teenagers. You are talking about creating a life. A life that is going to need constant attention, support and guidance for 18 years. It's going to look at you when it's 16 and say to you "should I get pregnant mom?" I would hope to God that you urge them to hold off. That you want whats best for them and that includes college and reaching for the stars. You owe it to yourself and your future kids to live your life and see what's its about before forfeiting all of your dreams because you can't wait to be a mom. Be an adult first. Live!! Have fun and see what this world has to offer you. You and your BF are so young. Too young to be making an 18+ year commitment to each other.
You would be taking all of his aspirations and chances away as well. Having a baby now would be like strapping chains on to your ankles and putting a small ceiling over your heads which is almost impossible to break through and rise above.
If you want to be a statistic, be one of a woman who has changed the world. One who her parents can be proud of. Aspire to do something great so when children do come into the picture, they can be proud of you too.
2006-12-04 08:46:22 · answer #1 · answered by TrixyLoo 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Being almost 16, is just past being a baby yourself, you say you both want a baby, so this means you have planned for this one....right?.... in this case the two of you need to plan together how this will be accomplished, because after the baby comes, who will stay home with baby, or how will you afford day-care, you have to screen these people who will care for your little one while you do the school thing, and boyfriend works. will you share a home(apt) or will you be home with parents? make sure your support system participants know your plans so you will always be covered. Now about the question of age, most 15 year olds have a bit more problems with pregnancy than older mothers-to-be there is the size problem, the fetus size/growth problem and any number of other things that can and sometimes will go wrong, as well as and not limited to death in child birth. make sure you know what is happening to your body the whole while you are carrying this other life, and be ready to do whatever it takes to keep you and the baby safe.I don't need to lecture you because you have already made up your mind, but just remember if b/f decides that all this is too much for him, all he has to do is walk away.......and where would you be? Just a few things to consider being pregnant and almost 16.
2006-12-04 08:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait till you are at least 20.
You are too young to have a commitment for the next 20 years.
Even with a decent job, you will find bills to be very tight. Who will take care of the baby during the day while you are at school, and he is at work? How will you have time to rest when the baby is crying from 2 am till 5 am? You are nearly 16, and he is over 19, in most states that is against the law, (statuary rape). Not to mention your feelings and views will likely change alot over the next few years. It is not smart to become pregnant at such a young age. I know you feel like you love him, and sure he loves you (and if that truly is the case, 4 more years won't hurt anything) But you need to live on your own for a few years to solidify your views and independence, and reinforce that you can make it on your own. Then and only then would I take on the responsibility of another human life.
You started off the statement with "He wants a baby, and so do I", not "I want a baby", or "we want a baby", on a psylogical level, your heart isn't in it. Are you saying you want a baby because he wants one?, is it a commitment you truly want to take on. Simply that you are here asking indicates that a part of you knows it is not the right decision, and you are looking for reinforcement that waiting is the correct decision. Waiting is the correct decision.
2006-12-04 08:40:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
if you aren't pregnant now, just wait for a while. 16 is very young, and you haven't even began to expierence life yet. you should finish school, hopefully go on to college, and if he wants a baby bad enough, he will wait until you are responsible and ready, of course, that's also if he loves you enough. you are far too young to think about having a baby, you never know what your future might hold, and if things don't work out between you in the future, your child will have to deal with part time parents by going back and forth for visitation.
however, if you are pregnant already, please do not abort the baby. from the moment a baby is conceived, it is a living being. it would be hard, but you would be a great mommy
2006-12-04 08:44:43 · answer #4 · answered by TaureanAngel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely not the ideal situation, and if you are not already, I would strongly suggest you wait.
Having support is wonderful, and you will definitely need it, but life is so much more against you when you have a baby so young. My niece had a baby boy when she was 15 and even now at 19 she is still looked down upon. Imagine trying to write a paper when your baby is screaming or has a fever.....you can't always assume that there will be someone there to watch it for you, and some things the mother has to take care of herself and not pass the buck on. There's a lot more to it than just 'wanting a baby'.
2006-12-04 08:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by sharonj_1017 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure exactly what it is you are asking. It is not the wisest thing in the world to be pregnant at 16, are you planning on getting married? DO you know for sure he will support you? And who is going to stay with the baby while you go to high school? You are so young still and I am sure staying home with a baby while all your friends goes out is really appealing to you. But since you are, and this is now your situation, then be happy, deal with it, and make sure you stay in school and make the best of it no matter what happens. This is your child, you have to take care of it. I am sure you will though.
2006-12-04 08:28:32 · answer #6 · answered by Shayna B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, wait. I too wanted a baby young, but time goes by so fast! Soon you will be engaged, then married, then planning a family. Wait.. Its worth the wait. I am now 20 and married to a wonderful man and we are trying to start a family. I'm young to start a family, and your only 16! Trust me girly, spend some time with your boyfriend, plan a wedding! Its so fun! You'll love planning a wedding, and it will take up so much of your time, baby fever will go away. Have some fun, a baby can wait until you are at least 20! Finish high school. It will be the best decision you will ever make. You want to set a good example for you children, right? Show them you can get your education and be able to provide a strong foundation. Believe me, I wanted to be a young mom also, but now it is all happening for me, and I'm glad I waited.
2006-12-04 08:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think 16 is too young to have a child not sure if you really know what parenthood is about you will have a small being reliant on you 24/7 there will be very little time to yourself . Finish school first that's your best option have time to grow up been a teen yourself I have Friends that wished they had has time when they were teens to be a teen and envy me as I waited till I was 25 but I've been able to do and achieve things that they never could
2006-12-04 08:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by Lilsa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie u need to wait u have all the time for that enjoy life more GRADUATE, havin a baby in high school aint easy, make sure that is something where to happen u could support the kid on ur own and what kind of good job u got, is u makin at least 20,000-25,000 a year if not u need to stop fa real ull regret it. the only responsibility u need to have right now is school!!!! and just cuz u got money dont mean nothin u are not mature enough yet!!! and he is young do u honestly think he is gonna stick around my dad was 21 when my mom had me and he aint done sh.it
2006-12-04 08:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then it can wait!!! When you guys settle down and get married and you have an actual job not classes at a high school, think about having a family. If you guys love each other then the love should last right? Don't make your life harder on yourself. Allow yourself to be 16!!! Your just barely old enough to drive!! You will change your mind a thousand times before you get married.
2006-12-04 09:02:27 · answer #10 · answered by ~*~A~*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, Thats a great idea!!
Ummm...thats all this country needs...a higher teen pregnancy rate and a higher high school drop out rate. You say if you get pregnant then you still want to finish school. Come on now, You will be probably be sick for the first 3 or 4 months, your probably miss alot of school for doctors appointments and then you will be on maternity leave for 6 weeks or more, and who's gonna watch the baby while your at school and he's at work? I'm sure your parents work. And day care is very expensive. Even if your boyfriend's job does pay well, most of his checks will be going to childcare. Do yourself a favor, grow up before you think about having children. Finish school, figure out what you wanna do with your life. Your still a child yourself and trust me, if you do get pregnant now you will regret it. Say bye bye to your friends and social life. I'm 25 and pregnant with my first child, and most of my friends stopped talking to me. No one wants to party with a pregnant chick that cant drink and is ready to go to bed at 8:30. And i doubt your friends will be willing to change their weekend plans to sit at home with you and hold your hair back while you throw up, or give you a shoulder to cry on when a diaper or a lovey dovey jewelry commercial come on and the tears start flowing.
2006-12-04 08:55:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋