My boyfriend and I have been together over 2 years, and he does not care much for horses. He pets the baby once in a while, but that's it. He thinks they are expensive and require too much care. Well, he thinks that way about all animals. He likes them, and will rarely come outside with me when I feed and even more rarely lend a hand, but he has no interest what so ever in them. I've had horses for 22 years now, and I have no desire to get rid of the 6 I have left. I've told him I'll take care of them, and he won't have to help. We're talking about getting married, and I finally managed to talk him into buying a couple acres for us. Anyone ever run into a issue like this? How did you resolve it? I'm worried that this will be a huge problem later, (it has already caused a couple minor arguments) and I'd like to resolve it now before we get married. Thanks!
2006-12-04 08:17:43 · 14 answers · asked by ss_silverado01 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm well aware that he doesn't have to like everything. That's a huge part of my life I don't want us fighting over. He has interests I don't care for.
2006-12-04 08:30:48 · update #1
I don't expect him to like them or even help. I told him they are my responsibility and he doesn't have to do anything.
I expect nothing from him but he wants me to give it up. That's the problem
2006-12-04 08:43:18 · update #2
If in two years it only caused a couple of "minor arguments", I don't see how it can be a huge problem. He is entitled to his view - animals ARE expensive, and require care and attention, this much as true. But as long as you're not making him care for them - why should you be prevented from indulging in your hobby? Many hobbies are costly; my husband has invested a lot of money into building a home theatre, this is just what he loves to do. If your b/f cannot accept that a certain portion of your future joint income will always be allocated to this particular hobby of yours - there's nothing you can do, he's just not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. A partner who loves and appreciates you doesn't necessarily have to take interest in your hobbies - but he has to be understanding, and support you in your pusrsuits.
2006-12-04 08:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, remember he's not wrong, it's an opinion.
If he thinks pets are too expensive then why not respect his point of view?
You want him to respect your point of view, right? So why not do the same of his?
This will be a huge problem if you keep telling him he is wrong. You don't have to agree regarding the relative value of horses, but you do have to agree on how you will handle it.
So, if you are willing to accept that he will always feel this way and that you will not exceed a mutually agreed upon amount of time and money spent or the horses, then go for it.
But if you are just trying to change his mind, then do him and yourself a favor and end the relationship now.
2006-12-04 08:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you the borg? He must be assimilated in everything you do. That is the problem with so many men and women. They feel like getting married means giving up their identity and becoming the other person. If he wants you as his wife, tell him the horses are part of the package, plain and simple. And yes, he might even have to help you take care of them now and again. Oh, and if you want him as a husband, he might want to gamble or look at porn occasionally. It's called compromise. It's what people in love do. Compromise is not the same as surrender.
2006-12-04 08:24:29 · answer #3 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went from a 13.2hh to a 17.2hh --- being honest i could not sense the distinction. on the time I did the entire" he's too large, what if i visit't experience him, do i opt to experience in a distinct way??" I used a mounting block yet after i change into on him I purely rode many times. I knew there change right into a wide height distinction yet his walk,trot,canter felt the same- his strides were longer and there change into so a lot extra flow yet in all I purely rode the same. If someone change into tall do you seem at them from a distinct perspective? Yeah, if you're very small even if it would not replace the fundamentals of the communique! you nonetheless manage them the same. commence with the 16.3hh and be conscious the way you sense yet dont imagine about the distinction too a lot-it is nonetheless a horse with 4 legs!! wish it is going nicely xx
2016-11-23 16:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by holts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big red flag here. If he doesn't like them now, wait until you are married and he feels that you are spending too much time, money, etc. on them. Unless you are really certain he won't make an issue of the horses, I wouldn't marry him. If you had to "talk him into" buying the acreage, he doesn't seem enthusiastic.
I had a similar situation with my cats and when my bf got serious, he wanted me to get rid of them. He wouldn't compromise (he had no allergies) so I got rid of him instead.
It all depends on whether your bf is flexible. After all, 22 years with horses is a definite passion, and he can't expect you to give them up.
2006-12-04 10:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you expect us to somehow make your boyfriend a horse lover? Or are you hoping some of us will stop over to feed, water, exersise them, and clean their stalls? Horses ARE a lot of trouble, and expense. You like them, so it's worth it to you. Your boyfriend doesn't care about them, so they aren't worth anything to him. All you can do is continue to take care of the horses, and not try getting your boyfriend to to be part of your horse family.
2006-12-04 08:40:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to come to a clear understanding before
you get married...
He should allow you to keep the horses if you want them..
He should not be forced to take care of them if he does not want them.....You must be their caretaker but as he loves you, he should help you when you need help...
2006-12-04 08:22:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the horses. Who can afford them anyways? Who has the time to take care of them? The boyfriend is right. It's time for you to grow up.
2006-12-04 08:25:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cant make someone get involved in something they dont enjoy. If he doesnt like them dont push him into it. If its your passion, he should understand and respect that and let you keep doing it... If this is your biggest worry before you get married then ya got nothing to worry about.
2006-12-04 08:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by Liquor Sick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you takin him horseback riding yet? Get him up on a good horse and take him out. He may start changing his mind. If not send him to the curb.
2006-12-04 14:27:31 · answer #10 · answered by Cowboy Jacob 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋