hey married men if i was?

Question

your wife and you got cought cheating on me for 8 mos and i know you are very sorry because that is how much i love you and want this to work will you cheat on me again or will you relize im the best thing that ever happen to you and fly right for us and our kids (i need to know your honest answers because i really love my husband of 3 yrs and he hurt me but i want to forgive him but i dont know how to come back from this i gave him 11 yrs)

Answer 1

Little lady the key word is LOVE.My wife loves me very much as well.That is what kept our marriage together.I love my wife to.I cheated on my wife more times than I can count. I have moved in with other women been caught many times in my car.I did not come back because of our kids.I came back for the same reason your husband did.Because I finally realized I had the best woman in the worldI can tell you from my first hand experience that he is truly very very sorry.If he weren't sorry he wouldn't have come back.I wish you all the best .We have been married 49 years this new years eve.{No I wasn't drunk} I hope some day you write and tell me about your 50th.
God bless the two of you.Marry Christmas.

Answer 2

Was that a type-o??? 11 years??? You meant 1 yr, didn't ya???Well I think you need to take some steps to see what is really going on. First, look into some counseling for yourself and the two of you together. If he is sincere, he will be willing to do anything it takes to get back with you so counseling can be a way to see how serious he is. It will help with the insecurities you face if you decide to accept him into your life again. It can also help you to understand why he cheated on you in the first place. Trust is always a make it or break it issue so take it slow. If you decide to continue down that path, you may have to "date" again to really get a feel for how he will come back to you. Feel him out if that is what you choose to do. Be sure that you are comfortable with him again.

I also feel that your motivations are for the family but it has to be that it is right for you. The kids are important but don't let that be a deciding factor when you consider reconciliation.

I personally think that people can change and I speak from experience. I did the internet chat thing and flirted and never gave my wife a chance to trust in me. I messed up 14 yrs of marriage and losing my family was a wake up call. I think that it could have been a wake up call for your husband also. But you have to be the one to know this and in your heart you may already know.

I do hope that things work out the way you want them to and when in doubt pray on it, you may be suprised.

Good luck

Answer 3

You have been married 3 an given him 11? Did he cheat on you when you were not married (smart money says he did if you are uncertain). You need to understand why he cheated. . . is he a dirt bag, or did he make a bad decision based on an unfulfilling marriage? If you want to give him a second chance, that is your affair, but if you cannot change the circumstances that inspired him to cheat in the first place you can bet it will happen again. 8 months is hardly a minor tryst in a 36 month marriage.

Answer 4

Its tough no one here can judge his sincerity. All I can tell you is as a ex-cheater if my ex would have taken me back immediately, I probably would have been right back at it, just been more careful. Just me, can't speak for every guy. I do believe a person needs to feel some type of loss from their actions or how can you really be remorseful.

For example: Someone kills a person and the judge says okay "this" time you get a pass but next time I "might" not be so kind.

I think that person will be more apt to kill again than someone who gets 20 yrs in prison.

Just my opinion.

Answer 5

Sorry for you situation, your husband needs to grow-up and realize that chasing after of women is kids stuff. He has kids and a wife that loves him that should be enough, none of this cake and eat it too. This is going to sound bad but you need to hear it, the main reason people cheat is because they think they are missing something, it is a selfish way of thinking but we all have been there. Your husband needs to remove himself from situations allow him to cheat. Stop clubbing or hang with his boys, if it is a chick from the work place he needs to find away to stay away from these loose women. Men are simple myself included, women know how to push our buttons no manner how strong with think we are, if the right woman says the right thing then he is likely to cheat point blank. He need to find away to stay way from the wrong situations. Should you leave him? Only you can answer that question, what does your heart say?

Answer 6

Sadly, I must say that a person that cheats on a long term basis, rather than just a "one drunken night", is cheating because they like cheating. If they had a change of heart, broke off the affair, and asked forgiveness; there would be a chance they'd be faithful. But, a person that quits because they got caught, will cheat again, and probably will just be more careful.

Answer 7

I'd been in a similar situation and i thought i wanted to make things work so i tried and i found that as i was trying to make it work, I really didn't have the respect and trust that I needed to allow it to work and in the end walked away. You have to know what it is you can and can't move on from and live with. you may suprise yourself and realize that letting go is the better thing to do for your self worth and sanity. then again you guys may have just what it takes to make it work. All you can do is try and see. It's really hard to let go of a long term relationship but sometimes it makes you a stronger person. Because trust me in the back of his mine he's thinking, She let me do it once! and he will be tempted again.

Answer 8

First time is an accident. Second time becomes habit. I would forgive him after a nice long talk, then tell him he's on parole for a while, (like the rest of your married days.). Get his feedback, and play it from there. He may have realized that the grass was not greener on the other side of the fence.

Answer 9

Well before I got married I would sleep with anything that had a heart beat I cheated on my wife so many times it isn't funny but after we got married I stopped because I couldn't see myself with anyone else. If you luv him try it just remember to keep your EYES WIDE OPEN he cheated once he most likly will cheat again when this blows over

Answer 10

I've been married for almost 21 years and have never cheated. However, with 11 years invested in the relationship, if I had cheated, I would certainly try to fix it.