My husband had a one night stand before he met me and almost 2 years later when we are about to have our baby he found out that there was a child from that night. She thought it was her bf and now she coming after us full force for child support and wants nothing else. can we get custody?
2006-12-04 07:21:06 · 34 answers · asked by betty123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need a DNA test to prove the child is his...
2006-12-04 07:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Setsuna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe.
The best bet is to go for a shared custody arrangement that will go 50/50 on custody and support. However, hate to say this, but unless the mother is completely unfit (and short of whoring the kid out on the highway during weekends I can't really say what that standard is) the courts will probably just say that she gets full custody with visitation. It's called the "tender years" theory.
The biggest thing, however, is to argue that you didn't know and that the husband is willing to provide real child support and bond with the kid. The most you can hope for is a judge with at least some grounds in common sense that will realize what type of a money grab this is.
P.S. BTW, are you going on simply her word that it is your kid, or do you have a DNA test?
2006-12-05 14:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by John F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh good lord. Why would you want to take custody of the child that the father has not seen in 2 years. Imagine the trauma the child would go through being sent to stay with strangers. Furthermore unless the mother is unfit and you can prove it in court of law no. Your husband is required by law to support his child regardless if its from a one night stand or a 10 yr relationship. Frankly and don't be upset by me saying this it is NOT your place to get involved. Before your husband starts child support request a DNA test.
2006-12-04 07:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DNA testing will see who is the father, and joint custody of child where there is not child support, and if she is not fit to be a good parent, you can file full custody, but you don't want to do that to the child, to separte the mother and child, after all she did choose life for the child not an abortion!
And for the next 16 to 18 years you will have this woman in your life and be part of a blended family, or just sign over the rights of your parential rights to over the state.
2006-12-04 08:54:49 · answer #4 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you sign the birth certificate? Have you been contacted by the State Agency for child support? Have you taken a DNA test? Is there an order for support against you? Is there an income withholding order? It depends on what you want to do. To tell you the truth, men have few rights and I´ve know a lot of men who have been screwed over the years. This may sound horribe to say, but if there is no order for support against you, and you have not been declared the father or signed the birth certificate, and also since you and her both have moved to different states .... why not just let it go and stay far away from this situation? I know it sound horrible, but I´m afraid you will really end up getting railroaded for the next 18 years. If you have not been legally declared the father, and there is no income withholding order, techinally you are doing nothing illegal right now and owe no arrearages.
2006-12-04 07:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by MIA 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you do a patirnity test? If that has proven your husband the father than yes he'll be paying child support. But get a lawyer because as the father he also has rights. If he's paying his child support than he also has the right to have the child for visitation or whatever the judge decides! But find out first if he's really the father! Good Luck! Iv'e gone through a similar situation with my husband. The child was 12 before my husband foud out about him and we had to pay 12yrs of back child support. It really sucked because it effects your credit! It was unfair that the mother was able to get away with that and my husband missed 12yrs of his sons life!
2006-12-04 07:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by Angel R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have good reasons like abuse or neglect the chances of getting custody are low to none but the child is entitled to the support from the biological father in most states that is 22-25% percent of his income for a single child
2006-12-04 07:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhhh no. Why would you want to take the lady's child just because she wants support to help raise her??
I understand its bad timing and you are upset, your husband probably as well, but think of what you just said. You want to take a child away from their mother for no other reason than to aviod paying child support.
Classy. Real classy. Pay the damn support, your husband should have strapped up 2 years ago.
By the way, you could REMOTELY get custody if this lady has drug/alcohol/jail issues or you can prove she is just an unfit mother, but again why would you do that just to not pay???
2006-12-04 07:28:15 · answer #8 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Contact a lawyer. Before you pay anything you'll want a DNA test to see if he is actually the father or not. If he is then he needs to accept responsibility. It is unlikely you can get custody since the child is residing with the mother but you can probably get visitation rights. Accept the child into your life.
2006-12-04 07:23:35 · answer #9 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Courts frown on taking a child away from its mother. Its kind of sexist, but its true. Plus the child it 2 years old so it will be very cute like a puppy. I would contact a lawyer. Have a paternity test done and see what all your options are.
2006-12-04 07:24:45 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't get custody of her child. and she can get child support from him because he didn sleep with her. YOur man has to go to court and get a DNA test to make sure it is his kid. If it is- he has to pay her child support. How come your husband never todl you about this>? good luck but- this oen is a hard one! sounds like you guys only want custody of the child because you don't want child support to take his money from him.. Whay if this was you and it was the other way around? what would you have done?
2006-12-04 07:25:22 · answer #11 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋