How does one survive divorce, not sure its what we really want, terrified about the kids.. financially...?

Answer 1

How do you know if you are ready for divorce? If you look at each other across the table and turn away, if you have nothing to say to each other, if you would rather spend your time with friends, if you put youself number one instead of your partner, if you have been thinking about how it would be to be alone, if you have been working on a way to tell your partner that you want out, and first and foremost, if you do not love ech other anymore. Divorce is hard, financially and mentally. It always will be and there is nothing that can take the pain away. Your children will survive. If you think they know nothing about what is going on, you're wrong. They probably know more than you do! Living without each other is easier than you might imagine. It may take some time, but you will be happier in the long run. Please do NOT stay together for the children. That is the worse thing you can do - for you and for them! If you are careful of your spending, you can make it financially. I was divorced after 20 years of marriage and 2 children. It has been 6 years now and I couldn't be happier. And no, there is no other person in my life. I own my own home and have a wonderful job. I am to happy enjoying things on my own. I do have physical custody of the children, but they are really happy right now, too! You can make it. I did! Trust in yourself!!! If you are asking the question about divorce, it is time to get out. You can't be happy if you are thinking about it.

Answer 2

Whoa whoa whoa!!! You can't stay together for the kids. You will both end up resenting each other more, and that will in turn affect the kids even worse. You have to do what you feel is right for yourselves not what is socially acceptable. If both you and your husband handle it like adults before it gets ugly AND you both make sure that your kids realize that it has nothing to do with them and assure them that you both love them, then it'll be fine. I guarantee though that if you try to stick it out, it's gonna get ugly and your kids are going to pay the biggest price. I'm not an advocate for divorce. I think it should only be a last resort, but it's much more important that your kids see that both you and your husband care enough about each other and them to handle it in a good way rather than let it become much worse. They'll understand if you help them to.

Answer 3

I'm in the same boat. People say divorce hurts children. Well, I'm sure it does but I'd rather my kids not see their father than be hurt by him. I'm going to tell my husband to do something with his temper or he'll never see the kids. I have not worked in 10 yrs and have no money. I had perfect credit when we got married and within 4 yrs had to file for bankruptcy. He's been divorced twice before me and now I know why. Good luck. I'll say a prayer for you and your kids.

Answer 4

its realy hard to face an unknown future, not to mention the financial part. but sometimes it's best to get one, sometimes theres nothing left in a marriage. but if u haven't tried counciling yet try it, many claim their marriages survive and come out stronger. but we do survive divorce, and we all move on and find after awhile the hurt and fear of being alone diminishes. we just don't have enough confidence in ourselves, we just don't feel we can do it. but we do, and the more we do and suceede the more we see we can do, bulds our confidence up.

Answer 5

Things have a way of working out. You are about to find out just how strong you can be. Good luck!!

Answer 6

You just live knowing others have survived, and know that it gets better.

Answer 7

you will carry the scar-rs of divorce through your life, and it will very damage your children . if at all possible -reconcile, if you cant, so be it

Answer 8

if you not sure it what you want have your tried marriage counseling?