A friend of mine just had her ovaries removed because of cancer, and she is worried that she will never meet a man's needs and won't keep a marriage. Is it hard for a man to accept that?
2006-12-04 07:12:02 · 41 answers · asked by miss tique 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Couples are enjoying marriage today without having kids, so it shouldn't matter. She'll meet the right man. My mother-in-law say's
" The playground is still there, they just took some of the toys."
No biggie, there's always someone out there.
2006-12-04 07:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by twostories 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your friend should write herself off because of this. I do not think that men go into relationships with an agenda for children. I'm sure there are millions of men who would be thrilled to find out that their love life will be contraceptive free. And more to the point child free! The important thing would be for your friend to test the water with any new partners and I'm sure she would get a pleasant surprise.
The only men who would have a problem would be those who are determined to have kids. But I don't think that in general men do.
So if your friend meets a man who wants kids and the relationship is a non starter because of it that's the mans loss not your friends. And as for your friend she should take heart because men are like buses - there will be another one along in a minute. It shouldn't take long to find the right one.
2006-12-04 07:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by 9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HA! I'm involved with a woman partly because she can't have kids. I don't want them. Call me greedy but I want to live life to the fullest without having the ultimate responsibility of children. I think many men prefer a woman that can't have kids. Tell her to just be honest with any hopefuls and they should respect her honesty. The worst thing they can do is say, "No." She shouldn't get too obsessed with any one guy either. Tell her to find 5-7 guys that she's interested in, make a date for every other night and ask each one if they care whether or not if their lover can produce offspring. If any of them say no, they don't care, then that's the one for her.
I hope this helps.
2006-12-04 07:20:05 · answer #3 · answered by Russell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what is most important is that she is open and upfront about this.
She can't date someone for three years, and then lay it on him that she can't have kids.
This may not be a first date conversation, but it should probably come up when the relationship becomes exclusive.
Perhaps as part of the birth control/sexual history discussion if they become sexually active.
If she is willing to have sex with him, then I believe that's the time she needs to share this important detail.
Personally, since I'm 41 and don't want anymore kids, this would be a postive in her favor for me.
Others may want children and see this as a negative.
2006-12-04 07:47:41 · answer #4 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife had uterine cancer and as a result had a a partial hysterectomy(uterus removed but still has ovary's) I knew from the get go that we would never be able to have children naturally but that didn't stop me. I love her for who she is not for her reproductive system. Beside the fact that there are many men out there that do not ever want to have children but do have very happy and fulfilling lives. Hope this helps.
2006-12-04 14:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by James d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if the man wants a woman who cannot bear children, he won't accept it.
Plenty of people adopt. It ain't hard.
There are also plenty of men who want no kids. The fact that your friend CAN'T change her mind later might appeal to some men.
I think if your friend had cancer surgery she has bigger things to worry about then future husbands. But I really don't think it will be a big deal.
I hope her treatment works out well...
2006-12-04 08:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT, hard for a "Gentleman", just look around you and see how many Men are married, or living with a woman and her children. Some of these Men, are better "fathers" then the children's biological father. Tell your friend that a true and loving man, will be looking for what is between her "ears", not inside her "stomach"! and furthermore, why would that subject come up in the first place, when she enters a dating relationship. Questions about having "children", are not discussed unless "marriage" is the answer. So give her a "hug" from me, and wish her a Merry Christmas, and please tell her that I am so grateful to the Almighty that she is a survivor.
2006-12-04 07:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by peaches 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure, if having kids was not a priority. There is also always adoption! She should wait until a 2nd or 3rd date to tell a guy about this, though. Telling a man something like that on the first date will only scare him away--not because of her condition, but only because it makes it seem as though she is already thinking of marriage! Play it cool, and bring it up when the time is right. Most guys will handle it fine.
2006-12-04 07:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by Patrick (Midwest) 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Children of my own were important to me but I don't speak for every man. I am sure there are men who may not even want children or are open to adopting children. There are some men out there who cannot produce enough sperm to have kids themselves.
Tell her not to worry, whomever she meets will love and accept her for her and they can work through the issue together.
2006-12-04 07:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she is of reproductive age she must be honest and not get deeply involved with someone that "requires" children. When I married my wife who had the same condition children were not an issue. Our sex life and relationship has been nothing short of magical.
2006-12-04 07:22:35 · answer #10 · answered by Capt Al 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋