Is it normal to not want to get married?

Question

I view it as nothing but for financial reasons, really. I don't want to have kids, and I don't really feel like having to live with someone else for my whole life. I just like being alone. I'm not trying to be mean, but that's what I want. I just don't want to be committed to something, because I suck at commitments.
I gave up on love years ago when I got frustrated at not having girls approach me. I view myself as a loser and ugly, so i have no confidence. What can I do. Should I change my view? Will my view change as I get older?

Answer 1

I think your view will probably change as you get older. If you are having a hard time committing, then you just haven't found the right girl yet. In that case, it's good that you don't go ahead and settle down. Then, you'd be unhappy, and more likely to get a divorce - which would be bad if you guys DID have kids. It's better all around to wait until you're sure. Don't give up on love, just be patient. Don't think of yourself in negative terms, because there will always be someone who is interested in you. She may not be miss America, but most women aren't! Just don't base your opinion on looks alone. There is beauty in everyone, just make sure you look inside as well as out. As corny as it sounds, the best things come to those who wait.

Answer 2

You never stated your age but yes views change from one day to the next.
No there is nothing bad about not wanting to get married. Try to approach the girls. Many times girls dont want to make the first steps at approaching a guy. Stop thinking of yourself as a loser or ugly or you will be that way. Start thinking of yourself as a great guy and pretty soon your mind will just naturally think that way.
Just live your life and learn to have fun and you may one day change your view on marriage...and everything else

Answer 3

I think it's all about the way you look at life, and your look on commitments. I believe it's not for everyone. Some people like to be either alone, and being by themselves, and some people like to imature, and alone, to be able to go out with 100 girls in a month if they want to, but that's not healthy either. Maybe your not ready to take that step, you'll know when you're ready. I'm only 20, and I'm commited to someone, it's almost as if we're married. I would like to be single now because I could go out and enjoy my life alot more, economically; once I think it over twice I couldn't be living my life any better, because I am sharing it with the person I love the most, and if it weren't for him being there in the good times and the bad, there is a high possibilty I wouldn't be here today. It's all about personal lifestyle. The oldest living bachlor is 59 and he looks awsome. He's also a millionaire. Then you have to think it over, it's either money or love/support...

Answer 4

Who said that you have to get married? I was married for a very long time - with children from the marriage. I had a lot of stupid expectations when I got married and thought that it would be a perfect union, last forever, blah, blah blah.

Since getting divorced due to my ex's cheating and financial mismanagement, I don't know that I will everf marry again. Why? I'm not planning on having anymore children and I can support myself. I am living with the love of my life now and I know in my heart that we will be together always. I don't NEED to marry him to keep him in my life. It's good to know that one partner could leave if they wanted to. It keeps the relationship fresh and you don't take each other for granted.

I have told my daughters that they don't have to get married. They don't have to have children either. Each person has to decide for themselves how to live. Don't let society pressure you into doing something that will make you feel wrong. However, I doubt that you are a loser or ugly. Your self-confidence may be low right now, but that may change over time or with the right partner.

Don't break someone's heart if you KNOW you can't keep a committment. I you know that about yourself, you are way ahead of the game. Be a free thinker, there's just not enough of them these days.

Answer 5

Actually I think you do want to get married because if you did not you would not care if your mind would change later in life. Your mentality will not change if you don't change. If you view yourself as a loser and an ugly person people get these vibes from you hence girls will not approach you due to the negative vibes. God made us all beautiful you just have to realize this for yourself. There is a person out there just for you and in time with a little faith who knows. Remember always think positive and positive things will happen.

Answer 6

As long as you view yourself a certain way you will be perceived a certain. You said you suck at commitments so, I assume you have had girlfriends?? Anyway, you don't have to get married and have kids. It's ok either way. Just make sure you aren't running away from yourself. It's impossible to get away from you. If, someday, you meet someone and change your mind then do so then. There is no one path to happiness. You can get married and not have kids as well. That's what my wife and I are doing. We may have kids some day. No pressure. I more in a adoption type of mood anyway. Heck, for that matter, you can just live with someone. Just make sure you are both honest to yourselves and each other.
BTW, don't count on financial stability to determine when you might meet someone and want to get hitched. If happens with it happens. And, two incomes can do things one income cannot.

Answer 7

Solitude is a good thing, but your views about yourself is what needs work. Seek an objective view from friends and/or family. You'll need confidence to obtain the goals you set for yourself in life and being alone doesn't change that fact. It takes a confident person to choose to remain single....you may have more than you think. I'd suggest you spend the next few years focused on meeting your own needs and working on improving your self-image so that you're not held back by this. Good Luck (I wish more guys were as humble as you seem to be instead of so cocky and full of themselves)

Answer 8

You should change your view of yourself. If you view yourself as a loser, then that is what you will become. Unfortunately many people suffer from such complexes of demeaning themselves and end up as losers.

You should not accept that you are incapable of becoming a winner. You must learn to be a winner and try hard and you will succeed. As they say, "There is a price to be paid for success but the price of failure is much higher" So it is much better to be a winner than a loser. You can decide about marriage after you are successful.

Answer 9

my friend,
we both know you're mistaken. take one of your buddies and go to a club. see how some GORGEOUS chicks would leave the club with guys you may really think twice before "complimenting them" with the word "ugly". how??? that's an art itself. and there are many resources on how to do that. starting with building up your confidence, and then dealing with women, be it a long term relationship that ends with marriage, or a one-night stand you want.
however, not wanting to commit and not wanting to get married isn't your real reason... normal people don't "just get married" you meet girls, you find one of them VERY special, you share a lot with her, you two fall in love, then you may decide to commit and get married. but if you stay home, and chose to call yourself a loser and "ugly" and ignore the Idea of meeting women. you definitly won't go anywhere. you will just wake up at the age of 60 feeling lonely and abandoned.. with no loved ones around you.
and then you will wish you acted on time ;)

Answer 10

It's not weird at all to not want to get married... I've not intention of it until I'm atleast 29/30. There's loads of reasons to not want to get married, financial being the best, you'll have so much more for yourself if you've no commitments... There's no harm in having that opinion, something might happen one day to have you change your mind though. Like one day someone might approach you and cause you to change your opinion, until that might happen enjoy the life you've chosen.