My son likes to stay to himself alot he is very neat and clean abot his clothes, they cant be too big on him and if his sleeves are too long he'll roll them up. And he is a really big cry baby. Alot my friends think that he is gonna be gay and it really upsets me that they are sayin that about him and he is only 4. What do u think about it?
2006-12-04 06:38:53 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
hi aqiylah80,
Sounds like you love your son and are worried about him. Let me give you some advise - keep loving him. Being neat or sensitive or even "picky" - those sound like good attributes to have in a son. Keep helping him make good choices and act positively. And when he grows up to be the gentleman you are proud of, gay or straight, he will remember how much you loved him no matter what he did - and be proud of you.
Good luck!
2006-12-04 06:45:02 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's neat and clean with his clothes because he remembers all the times you got upset with him getting them dirty, so he stays clean and neat not to upset you.
Maybe he rolls up his sleeves because they get in the way of his hands, he feels to warm, or he just doesn't like the way all the loose material feels on his arms when they move. I tend to roll up my sleeves for all those reasons, and I'm straight.
He's 4, he doesn't have the emotional control of an adult, so of course he's going to cry a lot when he gets upset. Plus he has no concept of sexual attraction and relationships
These are not signs he's gay, they're signs of a normal 4 year old boy that's trying to stay out of trouble (staying clean), stay comfortable (rolling up sleeves), and gets upset when things don't go his way.
Your friends are using stereotypical homosexual behavior and incorrectly believing that these general assumptions of gays are definite signs of homosexuality, when they are not. Maybe if your son was 10 years older and going through puberty those signs might have a little more weight since the typical 14 year old is a messy slob and throws insults, criticisms, curses, and punches when he gets upsets at someone.
Your friends are being stupid, trying to peg a 4 year old as being gay based on an ignorant stereotype. You should tell them to shut the f*** up, because they don't know what their talking about.
Your son is the only one that will know what his sexuality is, and he won't know for sure until he is fully grown. Regardless of whether he becomes gay, bisexual, or straight you should love your son. The only thing you need to do is raise him to be a smart, kind, generous, and honorable person, these things are more important than his sexuality.
2006-12-04 07:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by Rukh 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Great question!!
I would start by telling your friends to back off and get a life! I would hope that as adults, they would have more pressing issues than trying to guess the sexual outcome of a 4 year old child!
It is possible at times, to see traits that are stereotyped as being homosexual, developing in small children.
There is no way to know at such a young and innocent age how his sexuality will develop.
I don't think it should really matter at this point. Just continue to nurture him and fill his life with love. If he does turn out to be gay, I doubt that you would love him any less. :)
I am gay but know many straight men who are pickier about their clothing and much "whinier" that I am.
That is just a stereotype and although those traits may be more common in gay men, nothing is written in stone at this point in his life.
Just love your son and raise him to be a loving man regardless of what anyone else thinks or says! If at some point down the road, he discovers that he is in fact gay, it would be really nice to have the unconditional love and support that only a mother can offer! :)
2006-12-04 07:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by markalan1973 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If as they believe the "Gay" is in the genes, then chances are he could be showing some sterotypical signs. However remember never to stero type anyone. Don't buy into them at this point of his life. Encourage the good behavior. Also encourage him to be himself, what ever that may be or whatever he decides to do in life. He sounds like a good kid and that is a wonderful thing. love him for who he is or whatever he becomes. If he is gay and "HE" decides this at his own time, continue to love and support him.
Last since it is possible he is gay. I suggest making sure he know being gay is not a sin, gay sex is not a bad thing. Help him understand being gay, or straight is acceptable. Don't make him think he is a bad person in any way. This will only repress his feelings and prehaps cause him difficulties later on in life.
Teach him to love himself whoever he is.
2006-12-04 06:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should not be paying any attention to your so called friends if they are talking about your son that way. Your son is the way he is for a reason. He gets it from somewhere, are you clean and like things a certain way, if its not you its someone else in the house or one of his friends. It could also be from school, I'm sure the teacher likes them to pick up after themselves. You should be glad your son is that way, you won't have to worry so much about him. He will be taking care of himself before you know it. Whenever your so called friends say that he is going to be gay, you can tell them no he is just gifted unlike there kids!
P.S. Even if he where to be gay in the future there is nothing wrong with that, he is still your son, and he will be looking for your support more than anyone else in this world, remember that.
2006-12-04 06:46:33 · answer #5 · answered by mvaldesatc 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them.
From young age you can't tell if a child is going to be gay or not.
Rolling up sleeves has nothing to do with being gay, and if he worries about his clothes is because he feels responsible for them (they are his, so..).
Any 4-year old kid can be a crybaby, he'll grow over that with time.
2006-12-04 07:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by cass 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's probably no indication of sexuality. Whatever happens, happens - At least you've thought about it, though, so that if that 1-in-10 chance happens to strike, you'll be a little prepared.
But really, I think you should just be thankful you've got a son who does such adorable things. :) Especially when you could have ended up with one of those crazy boys that beat each other up in the sandbox, yell constantly, throw Tonka trucks around, and pull the wings off flies. Oi.
2006-12-04 06:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by lovesickness_rocks 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOOOO he's a neat clean kid there just jealous and want to down you cuz the prolly have or had bad *** sloppy kids. And if they tell you some **** like that they are not true friends. Now a sighn of him being gay is playing in your shoes make up talking girlly walking girlly etc.
2006-12-04 07:40:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some children are just meticulous about things. No, this doesn't mean he will be gay but if he is....you won't love him any less. If this is offensive to you then let me suggest that you tell them that discussion of your son's personality is not up for discussion. He is YOUR son and it's up to you as his mother to defend him and keep him away from those that can potentially cause harm. If they are being derrogatory and doing it in front of him then yes...that can cause harm. There is NOTHING wrong with him and if he does grow up to be gay...so what? Love him.
2006-12-04 08:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those can be traits of a straight or gay person. I wouldn't worry about his sexual orientation right now, he's only 4 years old. Tell your friends that the ignorance of their comments about your little son upset you, and whether he's grows up to be gay or not, you will not love him any less.
2006-12-04 07:24:13 · answer #10 · answered by Ellie akota! 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋