Should and how do I move on?

Question

My husband and I have been marrried 9 years. We have three kids, 3,5, 7. It was very good until three years ago. He then started working late alot. late and on weekends, and then on weekends he was "too tired" to do anything ( we have able and ready babysitter-both sets of grandparents). Two years ago, I started going with my friends in Las Vegas twice a month. It then became once a week and before you know it I had accumulated all of this debt. My husband moved out.
Turned out that a year before he moved out, he started seeing another woman. He continued to see her after he moved out. Now he wants to come home.
I have quit completely, gone to counseling and participate in DA. He says that he has realized that he was having a mid-life crisis and wants his family back. My gut is telling me to move on, my heart says try again, particularly when I see how it is affecting my kids. Will he leave if I have cancer? Unfair, but I wonder. Anyone been there?

Vegas is 25 minutes from our house. Also, no kids were neglected. In fact, he wants me to keep the kids because I am the "better ,more attentive parent."

I work and worked full time as well, enough to pay my bills, save substantially for our retirement nad pick up the healthcare payments and gas and light.

Answer 1

I do not recommend taking him back without conditions and marital counseling. If he refuses, the marriage will not work, but I still recommend the counseling for you. I know you want to take him back for the kids and how they have been effected by the whole incident. However, it takes a lot of hard work for you to regain his trust of him. I have watched a friend think the same way you are partly on doing it for the kids because she watched as a child her mom go through the same thing with her marriages. Now, almost a year later after he left for six months and been back for almost 6 months, she is ready to end the relationship.

Answer 2

He used you as an excuse to move out and have an affair. Did he support you and try to get you help? It doesn't seem like he did. Why would he admit to a mid-life crisis and get counseling? He apparently had a lot to do with your finding the wrong way to cope with his absences. If he is not going to be present or give up other women, move on.
Many men don't realize that being a good provider or father does not make you a good husband. Other women would have found another man.

Answer 3

Ideally, the real mother and father are best for the family life. It seems you have both recovered from serious problems. He wasn't the only one with a problem. Give him a chance. Actually, he is giving you a chance, remember you were wrong too, We can't know what tomorrow holds. Get into a church, pray together and God will works all things for the good. Lord bless you.

Answer 4

I think you should give your marriage another try since children or so young and need their DAD. You must admit you did a lot of damage in your marriage with your gambling, your trying to lay all the blame on him. You really was the one that broke this marriage and keep saying give him another chance ,I think you should be asking for him to give you another chance. Sure he found another woman after all he is a man. If it had of been me I would have found someone also, if you stayed in Vegas gambling.
be asking him for another chance not you after what you did.

Answer 5

Of course you should get back together with him. You shouldn't have children with someone if you're not going to raise them together. Now that you have both learned your lessons, realized how important you are to one another, and gained some perspective about what's really important in life, you have an excellent opportunity here for a wonderfully fulfilling marriage. Go for it!

Answer 6

Decide what is in the best interests of your chilldren. If the two of you receive marriage counseling, you may find ways to make your marriage work. Give it another chance.