I know this 22 year old and she said she always wanted to be a mom, so she went to the sperm bank and recieved two artificial inseminations. She doesn't have a partner in her life.
I didn't go into it with her, but why at 22 would someone do this? She has plenty of time to find a partner to be a father (or even a mother, if she is gay) to her child. Maybe she wants to be a single mother, but is that fair to her future child. The only thing I could come up with is that she has problems with men, or she is a lesbian. (I know I sound like a jerk!)
I felt kind of sad for her because she is going into motherhood alone.
Why would a 22 year old get artificial inseminated?
2006-12-04 05:44:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It could be a number of things.
Many women who are lonely think a baby will fill that void.
Some women hear that ticking of the biological clock earlier than others.
She could want to have the freedom to choose some of the physical traits of her baby without being swayed by emotion. (Though anyone who knows people who donate to sperm banks knows that women are not necessarily getting what their dreamy optimism makes them think they're getting.)
She might have gone through a bad breakup and thinks she either doesn't want to be encumbered by a man or that she'll never find a good man (or woman).
If she is a lesbian, she might be having a very hard time finding a partner. I have lesbian friends who are having or had a very hard time finding a partner because of the sheer challenge of finding someone in the small percentage of the popluation that is made up of women interested in women.
She might also be concerned about her health and that of her baby's, because the age she's at right now is just about the perfect time for the human body to have a baby in terms of reducing complications and defects.
I'm concerned, too, because I know she'll have to work doubly hard to build a strong social life for her child and herself, and she should make sure that she can provide a number of good male role models, regardless of whether her child is male or female. In an ideal world every child would have two parents, but I don't think you should worry too much, because she obviously wants to have children and could very well be an excellent mother.
2006-12-04 05:58:43 · answer #1 · answered by Drakkenfyre 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you in most points, especially concerning the lacking respect towards her future child.
It is a great success that society now (usually) accepts unmarried mothers, but the meaning should be that mothers who have been left alone by the father of the child are no longer stigmatized.
Nothing against artificial insemination. It's a great chance, if the husband is infertile, and even a pair of lesbians can get a child that way (although for the development of any child it's better to have parents of both sexes).
Perhaps this 22 year old tries to "design" her child, choosing at the sperm bank a special father, according to intelligence and looks. That would be a horrible thought for me, she would be playing Frankenstein.
2006-12-04 05:55:35 · answer #2 · answered by corleone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently, she feels she is ready for motherhood and so she wants to become pregnant. That's not so far fetched, plenty of young women have babies in their early 20s and are wonderful mothers. Doing so without a partner has economic and emotional disadvantages, but it seems to me she probably felt that in her particular situation the advantages of having a partner were outweighed by the disadvantages of having to find one and cope with his needs as well as her own and the child's. Also, it is fairly hard for a young woman to find a partner willing to impregnate her early in a relationship.
As to why specifically artificial insemination; it seems to have several advantages she may be thinking about:
1) She can chose what kind of father the child has. Most banks have some sort of biography and some have IQ scores. With a traditional father she has to take the best of what she can get given her appearance and charms in the time frame she is willing to set aside for looking.
2) She does not have to worry about custody issues.
3) She can set the date of delivery to a convenient time, within a span of a month or so. With traditional conception, one has to try over the course of several months, and it is never a sure thing that this time will be the time it works.
Or she may be impulsive and not have thought any of this out at all.
2006-12-04 05:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by 0 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people want to do things by themselves. I believe people even at a young age can and will be good parents alone. Obviously if she is financially secure enough to get artificial insemination's she will be fine financially for a child. If this is what she wants you should be happy she's going for it. I wouldn't let the fact that I didn't have a husband ever get in the way of my dream to become a mother. Luckily I was able to find that person and now we have children--but if I hadn't I would most likely figure out a way to do it alone.
2006-12-04 05:56:52 · answer #4 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She told you the answer already. She's always wanted to be a mom. That's a very, very powerful feeling. Although I do think she is way too young to be having a child and probably has no idea what she's getting herself into, I don't find it unusual that she wants to do it while single.
I know it sounds really crazy and unbelievable to some people, but not all women aspire to be somebody's wife. There are plenty of strong, intelligent women out there who are perfectly capable of raising their children in a stable, loving environment without a man by their side. Now, whether or not the person you're speaking of is able to accomplish this reamins to be seen.
2006-12-04 05:54:56 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea. It doesn't sound smart to me. Are you sure she's telling the truth and not just saying this to get attention or because she had sex with a random guy she doesn't know and got pregnant?
I don't know how sperm banks work, but I would think that there would still be a lot of red tape to go through and a lot of $$ to pay. All things that a 22 year old would be able to deal with.
2006-12-04 05:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have answered your own question. Maybe she is a lesbian, yet dreams of being a mother. Or maybe she has gone through something tragic in her life that has left her with a negative outlook on men. Some women feel that they don't want to have a relationship, and marriage. Yet really have a strong desire to be a mother. whatever the reason may be, you could pray for a positive outcome for her, and that the lord will help her through this process.
2006-12-04 05:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by Mof3 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
She's going because she wants a baby and wants it now and it's no longer a stigma to be an un-wed mother.
Hopefully she has enough money to support it and won't wind up on the dole.
Not that I agree with her decision (it is her life after all) but at least she's not out sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry to get herself a baby.
2006-12-04 05:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
in case you have been to get pregnant, think of how might your toddler experience while it grows up and that they found out what you will carried out. might this is particularly worth that lots harm in case you may forestall it occurring now?!!! Wait to locate somebody you may love and appreciate and would return that to you. they're available someplace. you will then have the skill to do the entire relatives element like it may well be i.e. conceiving luckily and as a joint attempt, it makes each and all of the version!
2016-10-13 23:57:32 · answer #9 · answered by dusik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem kind of insensitive. maybe she feels she is mature enough, you obviously arent very mature.
it doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, im 25 and wouldnt do it still, but thats really not your business to be concerned with. its clear that she isnt like your best friend or anything b/c you dont even know if shes straight or not. so why are you so worried about it?
2006-12-04 05:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by MANDEE 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋