Making a long story short, my co was sold to another co and the close is happening this month and my job will prob be going away in the next 1-3 months, the work routine has become a monotonous practice of not doing much but waiting for the axe (I'm staying with the hope of a nice severance if I get triggered, that's why I'm not leaving yet), I'm single and am having trouble meeting new people, don't keep in touch with my fam, don't have hobbies except for exercising daily. Have a few friends but only see them sometimes on weekends. Basically don't have much of a life and don't know how to get one. The thought of being without a job during the day, on top of already being alone with not much going on, is getting to me. I think about new hobbies but I don't even know what I'd like to get into, and things like guitar and exercising are solitary anyway. What should I do, what would you do? (BTW, I don't need a shrink, I need a life).
2006-12-04 05:41:44 · 22 answers · asked by Atlas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
While I appreciate the advice, a) I am an atheist and perfectly fine with that so church is the last thing I would ever join, b) saying wildly arbitrary things like "get out there try new things and meet people" doesn't help, I know that already, I'm asking advice as to HOW to do that specifically, c) I said that I WILL get severance if I get laid off, so I am not job hunting, d) I am not going to move to a new city, that is a bit much and d) I am not "whining," I am asking for specific advice as to how to get back on track...so Roberta gets 2 thumbs down (and another finger up...)
2006-12-04 06:37:54 · update #1
Oh one last thing, if I see another person on yahoo.com suggest going on antidepressants to solve minor depressions or day to day/situational issues I am going to have a fit. I know all about antidepressants, they are powerful and risky drugs that should ONLY be used for serious, clinical depressions after ALL OTHER means have been exhausted. Shows how ridiculous our society has become...have a problem, start popping pills. BTW if you have never used them you shouldn't pretend to know what you are talking about. SSRIs turn you into an emotionally void zombie. What fun.
2006-12-04 06:40:55 · update #2
You DO need a life, so give some thought as to getting one.
Even if you don't want to leave your job yet, in hopes of severance, start scoping out possibilities, get your resume' in order, etc. Be ready to hit the ground running if you are let go. There's always the chance you could be moved to a different/new position with the new company, but have a plan of attack if you end up unemployed (and don't forget to file for unemployment benefits).
You said you don't know what you'd like to get into re: hobbies so give that some more thought. There are TONS of options. If you try something and don't like it, then try something else...just don't spend a lot of money buying supplies and such until you know it's something you want to pursue.
You like to exercise but what about sports? Most areas have local adult softball or soccer or other kinds of sports teams. See what is available in your area and look into joining them (great way to meet others too).
What about volunteering? What community service or volunteer organizations are in your area? Not only would you be doing good for others, but again...meeting people!
Join some dating/social sites online to meet people that way too. I've met and made some of my best friends from people I met online, that lived in my local area...people I may never have met otherwise.
You are in control of your life and your happiness...someone who is happy and confident is going to naturally attract more people than someone who is glum and insecure. Be that happy, optimistic, confident person and you'll notice a change in our life all the way around.
Good luck!
2006-12-04 05:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've kinda felt like work can get monotonous also. It's unfortunate that you don't keep in touch with your family b/c that's what keeps me motivated and looking forward to something. I don't live near them right now b/c of work so I look forward to going back whenever I get a chance. With that said, what's really helped me may be something you'd want to look into. Church. It really opens up a new way to meet friends and feel like you have a family a part from yours. I know there are many negative connotations regarding a church if you weren't raised in one, but it does help fill that void. Get involved there and it will really give you plenty to do.
As far as a job goes, start looking for something that motivates you and you enjoy doing. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2006-12-04 05:50:11 · answer #2 · answered by It's me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question.
We all get into ruts.
You like the computer right? Join a singles service online. One of the legit ones like eharmony. I tried it but felt uncomfortable. It just wasn't me. so I quit after the free trial. At least though it was real people. Worth a try if you're in a lonely rut.
Ouch, read your additions. Not a happy camper. They're just trying to help. I agree with you on the anti depressant thing though. Handling techniques are better than band aid solutions.
Seriously though, what are you risking with an online thing. You don't have to motivate yourself to go out to meet people, until you've screened someone then decide if you even want to meet?
You know what you need to do, it's just finding the motivation to do it. Lots of luck.
2006-12-04 05:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.........Good to play the waiting game with your job, if you think a severance may be in the future. But, shop your resume around now, just in case.
Whenever I start to feel like my jobs getting me down, that's what I do. I like to keep my options open where employment is concerned.
As for life.....same boat here.....may I suggest you step out of the exercise routine for a day or 2 during the week and do something different. Go to an 24hour grocery store or out for a morning drink at a coffee shop or something. You'd be amazed at the people you meet during the awkward hours of the day when most are in their set routines of exercising and reading the morning paper at home over coffee.
Let me know how that works out for you......
2006-12-04 05:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by Myndlynd T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But what are you doing for yourself ... other than whining about how miserable your life is? Have you tried looking for another job? If you haven't been told about a severence package to date, don't keep waiting for it. Those kind of announcements are made early on in the process.
Have you joined a church or other group where you might meet people? Have you tried reestablishing ties with your family? Exercising is good; do you go to a gym where you might meet other people who share your interest?
It's up to you to take responsiblity and move forward with your life. If you can't do that, then yes, you do need to see a shrink.
2006-12-04 06:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by Roberta 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
HMmm you should look at this as a time for a change! move! get back in touch with your fam....meet people! just put yourself out there! really it only takes one person to meet like 20 others! dont worry everything will be ok...just start looking for another job maybe in a bigger city...i promise you will like it...i have kinda been feeling the same way too...i just moved to texas from california and the first 3 weeks were really hard but i found a great job, im meeting people left and right and im happy again!!!
2006-12-04 06:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ennh same with me only I've got friends ( but we are all workaholics and live in different cities). The family thing im not quite sure how that works out, Ive got a big family. I exercise regularly too, you're making me depressed..... start dating (how ever that may work out for you), start loking for a new job now ( make a resume), possibly relocate.... and learn how to play the piano or you could take up an interest in something like Wine, or good food, learn how to cook maybe?
2006-12-04 06:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by Lexy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get involved in some social event/club. Some place where you can go regularly and meet people and form bonds (friendships).
If you like exercising, try talking to some people around your gym. Be friendly and try to socialize a little.
Once you make a couple of pals, you should be alright. Then you'll have some guys to go to the "bar" with you or do whatever it is you guys do together. lol
2006-12-04 05:45:48 · answer #8 · answered by jennytkd13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Situational depression is still depression, and a prescribed antidepressant would be a good start. Find a comedy club and catch a show. Laughter is the best medicine, and you might meet someone interesting and fun!
2006-12-04 05:59:05 · answer #9 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont u try to change ur rutine into some activities u like?,about ur work im sure if u find another place to go, there u will meet new people and u can make new friends too,dont get depressed cuase life is too short,enjoy ur life and so something,go out,go in some places u never been no matter for what reason,walking,shooping etc..........im sure u'll be ok.good luck
2006-12-04 06:08:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋