me and my boyfriend are virgins please tell us how to reduce pain?

Question

i feel intense pain everytime he trys

Answer 1

Just keep trying, without using full penetration with his penis. I was EXTREMELY tight when I was a virgin, and 10 years later am still quite tight. I'm just built that way. I'm sure that will change when I have a kid.
Have him use his fingers, or buy an "adult buddy" and stretch things out a little bit, slowly increasing the size of what you are using until the intense pain stops.
Being scared of the pain isn't going to help either because you will tense up and make things worse. Even when women go to our yearly pap smear it is common to tense up, and it makes the speculum and all that stuff more uncomfortable.
Definitely do a lot of foreplay to relax you both, yet get pent up at the same time until you can't stand it anymore. As far as the penetration goes, the actual piercing of your hymen (popping your cherry), I would say it's like ripping off a band-aid. The slower you do it, the more painful it is. I'm totally contradicting myself here, but have him go slow until he reaches your barrier, and then have him thrust a short, fast thrust to pierce it, then back off to allow a little recovery time, while kissing you and keeping you stimulated, touching you all over, running his hands up and down your body to comfort you. It is easier for some women over others because the state of every woman's hymen is different. Some have thin hymens, making them easier to penetrate; some have small tears in them already that make them easier to penetrate; and some unlucky women have thick, solid hymens that will hurt a lot to penetrate.
If your boyfriend throws a fit because he can't just do you, then dump him because he cares more about his satisfaction than your discomfort.
Good luck and take things slow. There's no rush to the finish line. It's your virginity. Don't waste it because you'll never get it back.
And lubrication, lubrication, lubrication! I still need lubrication a lot.

Answer 2

My first time did not hurt. I started with masterbation for awhile and then he did fingering for about 2 months before. All you need to do is start doing some things that will stretch it out a little which will make it less painful. You yourself can start with one finger, move it from side to side. When you can do that without pain, try 2 fingers, and so on. He can also do the same thing to you. Believe me, it helps, but it can take a few weeks or a few months so don't rush intercourse. It doesn't have to be excruciatingly painful. Just be patient.

Answer 3

Relax and take your time. Remember you are big enough for a baby's head to come out of and there is no way your b/f is THAT big going in! If you are anxious, your muscles tense. Try touching and stroking each other for a while. Explore each other's bodies with your hands and mouth. Find sensitive places you liked to be kissed. Good sex isn't just about racing to penetration. It's a pleasurable journey like eating a good meal or watching a movie. I bet you don't start watching for a few seconds and then go straight to the end of the movie, do you? No, of course not! Good luck, sweetheart. We were all virgins once!

Answer 4

Your both probably so nervous and tense as it is your first time!!, try a little bit of foreplay to help you relax, the more you physically touch each other the less tension you will feel, you could also try a little lubrication like KY Jelly, Good Luck x x

Answer 5

hello you two!

Making love is not just about penatration,this all takes time.buy ky and start by stroking eachother without sex,take things very slowly and relax..it is only painful because you have tightened up in your vagina..i did not have A REGULAR sex life with my partner for four years and i having to get used to it over again..and it was a little uncomfortable the first time in ages,but i was not relaxed..fourplay here is the key..this is all very normal..there will be no pain at all if you both take it easy and enjoy.TrY you on top position..that way you control penatration and get your clitorious stimulated at the same time!

Answer 6

That shows your fear and hence putting your muscle tight. Otherwise it should not pain. Else you are not playing a game before trying to penetrate. Note that your organ is not naturally wet, and it has to be made either by a pre-game or by applying some lubricants like vaseline, castord oil, olive oil etc., You can try some lubricants. relax yourself and involve yourself.

Try oral before inserting

Answer 7

Maybe you should stop trying for full intercourse and just enjoy lots of foreplay for a while (days/weeks). You both need to take it slowly, a hot bath, romantic music and lots of foreplay will help you both relax and take the focus off the ultimate act of penetration. Lubrication can be fun to use as well as helping him slide in easier.

Answer 8

It takes a few tries to get it right. Use a lot of lubrication and try to relax. It takes time, your bosy needs to stretch to get used to the feeling. It WILL be painful before it feels good.

Answer 9

when you decide to do it again, use some kind of lubericant, if you do other things before you try to have intercourse, see if he can do something manualy to relax you and ease the pain. It will hurt, but make sure you have enough time to do it slow so you both dont hurt yourselves. the pain will go away. once he enters, have him sit there, dont move dont talk just relax and then you tell him when he can continue.

Answer 10

u are stressed out about it so u tighten up
have a few drinks first but dont let him drink or he might lose hs erection
dont try and have sex for a while just practice foreplay cos u sound like u arent wet enough
or try using a luricant the first few times