The questions is,,,,,,,,,,,,,,What do you do if you think your teen is gay? And you think morally and religiously it's wrong. And you have raised them it's wrong. Especially when their too young to know what love is any ways. How would you deal with your child?
2006-12-04 05:13:04 · 20 answers · asked by Mother of 2 girls 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My family and I have dealt with this problem not with just me, but also other members of our family.
If you think your teen is gay, maybe try talking to them.. I know that most teens are petrified of telling their parents that they are gay.. it might take a load off their chest if you recognize this, and then talk to them calmly about it, showing that you will love them no matter what.
As for morally and religiously being wrong, you just have to accept it, odds of them deciding that they aren't gay, are slim to none. It's your teen, you should love them unconditionally and tell them that you support them no matter what they feel. Many agree that you are born gay, you don't just pick it.. which if you're Christian, you aren't going to believe, but then also think, gays have a hard life.. constant hate crimes being acted out against them and etc., why would they CHOOSE to be like that?
Being to young to love, and knowing your sexual orientation is two different things. Love doesn't necessarily have to be involved when you are figuring out what you are attracted to.
But basically if I suspected my teen of being gay I would
1. Talk to them about it, and even see if that is really what they are. It could just be a feminine boy or a tomboy girl.. it does happen.. quite often actually.
2. Make sure that they know that you love them, that you support them. It might take time for you to feel this way, but you need to come to that place, so you can be there for them. Otherwise it'll just cause a distance for you and your child.
3. If they are gay, maybe find a support group for gay youth around you.. Not a Christian gay youth group that's aimed at making gays straight.. but just a group where he can talk, and know that he/she isn't the only one feeling those feelings.
4. Make sure to keep your relationship with him/her a open one.. that way he/she can always talk to you if he/she needs to.. If you don't accept him/her being gay.. odds are he/she wont come to you if he/she ever needs help.
That's just what I think.. hope that helps, and hope it works out for you and your teen.
2006-12-04 05:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by insanelaser20@sbcglobal.net 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I am a gay teenager and because my family thinks it's wrong, I'm scared to death to come out to them. If they are, then love them anyway. That's what a parents UNCONDITIONAL love is supposed to mean. You can try to talk them out of it or pretend it's just a phase of rebellion but it's not. If they are gay, then keep loving them because nothing hurts worse then thinking that your parents, the two people you look up to most, the people who have always been there for you, are rejecting you or are disappointed in you because of the way that the God they pray to every night made them. They can't help it if they are just as I can't help it. Do what you will. You say you think it's religiously and morally wrong but keep in mind, so is abusing your child. It might not be physical but it's emotional abuse like no other. Don't kick them out on the streets or even yell at them like I have seen happen on countless occasions. Just accept it and move on. I know this may be hard but they're your kid. Do it for them.
2006-12-04 05:39:41 · answer #2 · answered by Addicted to Crayola Paste 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I totally disagree with you. You should not teach your kids that being gay is wrong. Your teen knows you are against it so he's probably NOT going to talk to you or confide in you of his feelings. The world today is open minded. I have 2 teens and I am straight. My kids are straight, but, if things turned out differently, I would support them in every way. This also could be your teens time to "find" himself, who he is. Maybe he's not gay. Please have a open mind, this is your child. If it turns out that he is gay, he's going to have enough negativity in society to deal with, he's going to need support. Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, this is my opinion as a mother, good luck and god bless!
2006-12-04 05:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by mom*2 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I love my son unconditionally. I mean that I love ALL of who he is, whether or not I agree with it. If your teen is gay and hasn't discovered it yet, you have some time to come to terms with it.
A person who is gay doesn't choose to be that way any more then you chose to be straight. I would be sad for my child because of all the bigotry and hatred in this world (because of religion, primarily) but I would still be his parent. I would still love, support and honor him as best I could. None of that would change - and frankly, I feel very sorry for you if your religion would make you damage your child or in any way alter the relationship you have with him.
2006-12-04 05:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by Wonderland 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You've got several good answers here, but you might want to contact PFLAG now. (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).
www.pflag.org
My late daughter, Jennifer, came out to me when she was a teenager. She was bisexual. I never knew the prejudice against the bisexual until after her suicide. She begged me to attend PFLAG meetings during the 2 years before her death.
I don't know how people can believe teachings in a House of God that say that God condemns gays when it's clear that God continues to make every 10th child a gay one.
God is Love. God is a loving parent. Gays are God's children, too.
Condemnation of gays is man-made. The original scriptures made no mention of homosexuality. The scriptures you learn that condemn homosexuality have been gradually created by translations that evolved over centuries. If you stick to the words Jesus spoke, you'll stray less. Jesus embodied unconditional love. He demonstated acceptance of the Samaritan, the tax collector and the prostitute, but just didn't think to include a gay person.
Although I didn't do enough for my daughter, and she suicided over this, I can only encourage you to love your girls while you can. If one of them is gay, who knows what she is due to suffer in the world...
2006-12-04 06:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by E V 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
accept your child the way he or she is. you should love your children no matter what. It isn't morally wrong to be gay that's just the way the person is, it isn't their fault they are that way that's just the way they are born. I would have a talk with my kid but who knows? maybe you are wrong and if you tell your kid that being gay is bad than you he or she would never be comfortable to tell you the truth.your teen would think " mom hates me"
2006-12-04 05:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by celinuchis90 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well a person can't help how they feel. And it doesn't matter if it's wrong to you and if you've taught them otherwise. Accept it and move on. It has nothing to do with you. And I'm not a gay speaking the truth. I'm straight. Just relax. She'll be fine.
2006-12-04 10:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by cjm 3 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Being gay isn't a choice, so I think that you need to fully support your child. So maybe your child doesn't believe in your religion? You can't pass down religions to your children, they choose what they believe. If you try to 'turn' them straight, they will only get angry with you.
"Especially when their too young to know what love is any ways"
You had attractions to the opposite sex when you were young didn't you? Same thing.
2006-12-04 05:21:02 · answer #8 · answered by SydneyS 2 · 3⤊ 4⤋
suppot your teen im sure that if they could change it they would but its not somethin that she can turn off ok so the last thing she needs is to knoe that u dont approve of her life style even if u dont
2006-12-07 11:22:28 · answer #9 · answered by yadi to hot 4 yall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't.
There is nothing wrong with being gay! Why can't you people just accept it, their sexuality doesn't affect you! Why do people like you just understand that there are gay people and you can't do anything about it, let your teenager lead her own life! And also, NEVER try to force your beliefs onto your children! It's not right, let them decide for themselves!
2006-12-04 05:17:31 · answer #10 · answered by Cass 3 · 5⤊ 3⤋