I am looking for viewpoints as to whether a relationship can withstand the pressure of one person not being happy with their life or themselves before the relationship starts, while the other is secure and confident in theirs?
2006-12-04 04:53:42 · 10 answers · asked by happynspirited 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unless the person who is secure finds a way to make the other feel the same they could both end up being miserable.
2006-12-04 04:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by Ollie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could go either way ~ where one drags the other down, or where on lifts the other out from - wherever.
Relationships, good honest ones, are about liking and caring, not about some form of accountancy.
Is the one who claims to be 'secure' and confident in their relationship, that insecure that they have to ask advice on whether to 'allow a relationship to happen'?
Try looking at the scenario via a metaphor.........
If you were swimming in the sea and couldn't see the land and had no idea which direction to swim in, then would you not be happy to have someone, in a nice secure dingy, come along just so that you could take ahold of the trailing rope?
Of course, should you try to climb in and be rescued, you might just tip the boat up and the risk the other persons life too. But, you can be towed by the boat towards where the shore is ~ and feel some respite from your fears and insecurities in the process.
Personally, I'd hate to have someone ask your question with me as the subject from the potential so-called Friend..
Sash.
2006-12-04 21:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good question. Kermit had a lot of baggage when first we met and he was never 'appy. Now I have zee baggage and we have learnt to carry it together.
It was very 'ard work but we 'ave succeeded and now we are both very'appy with ourselves.
But if you really want to know the truth SMART blond has got it exactly right.. no matter how light you make of the situation it is not possible. Not ever.
2006-12-04 13:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-12-04 12:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, from many painful painful years, I believe this is not possible. I used to believe that my love, energy and happiness could make up for my husband's depression and misery. Eventually he brought me down to his level where I was fearful, hated myself and felt worthless and depressed.
A person needs to be happy and complete in themselves before they can be a partner in a successful relationship. If you want to have a relationship with someone who is not happy, please please, go to counselling with them. It will make all the difference to your future life.
http://www.relate.org.uk/
2006-12-04 13:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by SmartBlonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so, you would have to think seriously about what issues they think they have,the secure person would have to constantly reassure. I wouldn't even go there.
2006-12-04 13:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by st.abbs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a huge losing battle
2006-12-04 16:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by graham f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can, but it may be hard work and some cant take the strain
2006-12-04 12:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by serephina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i dont believe u can... to love some one else u deffinatley need to love yourself first... so to make some one else happy.....
2006-12-04 12:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by annonymous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no way
2006-12-04 13:02:53 · answer #10 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋