We have been together 7+years.
Bi racial relationships that have no future?
I'm medium skin toned&spanish. He's chinese. The family hates me. When is it time to say goodbye even though you don't want to let the other person go. The family doesnt approve andmakes everyday a challenge. Do I stick it through? Do I come to terms that I will always be dealing with this? This is my 2nd time getting the hate look from the other mother all because of my skin color. It hurts and although it has shaved down my self esteem I know Im beautiful inside and out. I just feel that maybe they think I'm not good enough for their son. Or that they want him to have chinese babies only. Not mixed. I dont know what to do. The holidays are here and soon a new year. Should this new year include us?
2006-12-04 04:50:14 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
wow, 7+ years? way to go. i'm asian, so i definitely know where you're coming from. i'm dating a white guy-- he's the sweetest, but my parents werent so excited about him at first either-- but now it's much much better. it's hard.. but definitely worth it. i dont really know what to say to you, but i'm on your side rooting, from over here in georgia. haha. well all joking aside, i can tell you obviously care for him, and if he cares for you he should know how much this is hurting you. asian parents are pretty strict and tough, although mine are pretty great to me. i wonder if you're a christian, if you are, you should pray about it.. if you're not, talk to me. God will help you so much in all the troubles of your life. moving on from the religious preaching i hope you appreciated, you should try to communicate with them, dont feel intimidated, talk to your boyfriend about it, but never feel bad about your race. you're right. you are beautiful inside and outside-- what's on the outside doesnt even matter. because it's like fruit. the peeling is tossed, but the inside is eaten, because it's delicious! hang on tight.. but if you feel like it's time to let go, leave with no regrets. sometimes the easy way out is the best way, at other times, it's not. i hope you'll have the wisdom to decipher that. i hope i didnt bore you and that this was a help.
2006-12-04 11:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by Missy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 7 years you still haven't made a favorable impression? What's up with that?
If you'll 'never be good enough' then you have to either accept that, fight that, or move away from that.
When I say "move away" I don't necessarily mean 'break up' either. If you two are close (and after more than 7 years you should be very very close), then move to a different place. Such separation has a way of changing people - particularly in-laws. They're happy to hear from you at all, let alone being judgmental and all that.
Distance is a beautiful thing if in-laws are an issue.
Don't blame your skin color- Rise above it. Be the best you can be and let your love shine brighter than any skin color. If you two really love each other, it'll be fine...but it'd be finer another thousand miles away from his Mom...!
2006-12-04 06:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him, then there is no reason to walk away from the relationship. Maybe he should have a talk with his parents to let them know that their behavior toward you is inappropriate and disrespectful to him. Or maybe you should both sit down with them together and explain how much you love each other and that nothing will change that. You would be much more miserable being without him than struggling through all of this with him.
2006-12-04 05:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by funnygrrl19 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋