This person is in a relationship that continues up and down like a roller coaster, basicly it is mental abuse. This person is no longer in love with the spouse, however is reluctant to make the break.
2006-12-04 04:25:45 · 12 answers · asked by Harleyclassic74 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no person deserves abuse,however if this person is no longer in love they will break away.just be a friend.there may be reasons are there children?
2006-12-04 04:43:05 · answer #1 · answered by waltdisneybirdblue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am someone that WAS in an abusive relationship. There's not much you can do sadly. This person will get to the point where they have finally just had enough. More than likely the person being abused is insecure & afraid (been there myself). Just be there & listen and give support. Tell that person that they DO NOT have to live their life afraid, that they CAN overcome it. I did it, with three kids..I left, I was literally on the run for several weeks, I got help from the battered women's program and I survived. Now I volunteer with the program and I am stronger than ever before. Bottom line, don't give up hope but constantly reassure this person that they CAN make it without the one who abuses them.
Best of luck, Lynn
2006-12-04 04:31:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not do anything but watch. If you stress out this person not only will the abuser not let the abusee talk to you (more then likely) but you will make the abusee say things to you that you want to hear, while doing the same thing this person has always done (adding in more stress to that person).
These people need to hit rock bottom, like a drug, then rebuild there life. Hopefully there are not kids involved....
If you feel this is a life or death situation break the law kidnap your friend and take your friend somewhere safe to be debrainwashed. You can go to jail for this....but save a life.
2006-12-04 04:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was there too. It took a miracle of sorts to make me realize I could no longer remain there. I had to get to the point where I really thought either me or my children would die before I could leave. Overcoming this isn't a problem for you if this person has made it this far or they can make it to that point they will be home free. You could maybe be supportive of them in any way I don't see how it could affect you it is their problem afterall. Do you have an interest in the relationship?
2006-12-04 06:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very common. There isn't anything YOU, personally, can do to help this person. You can't say anything and you can't do anything that will change this persons mind to do something. I think this pretty much goes for most people who have an addiction (co-dependency is an addiction of sorts) - the same way you can't get a smoker to stop smoking, a cheater to stop cheating and a liar to stop lying... the person absolutely has to want to do it for themselves or it's not going to happen.
2006-12-04 04:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by Lori E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this person may be scared of leaving . fear of what might happen if they do leave. there isnt much you can do but be there for them let them know that someone is there to help. call around where you live and see if there are homes for abused and batter they will help them hide from the other person if it is that bad. they really need to get out i have seen and been in this to many time i know what they are going through. my kid dad told me he would kill me if he couldnt have me. but i found a way out and they can too. i had a aunt that wasnt so lucky. her boyfriend beat on her all the time but she was to scared to get out and one night he brutally killed her. she had 2 kids now that dont have a mommie that is something to think about. do what ever u can do to help them dont let this happen to them good bless you and them and i will be praying that they get out safe
2006-12-04 04:33:46 · answer #6 · answered by whiteangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about your question carefully. Lets break it down.
How do I?--Its not you thats lacking ability
Abusive relationship----could be a habit for this person to have relationships of that nature,,,, are you wanting an abusive relationship?
Reluctant----is what you should be
2006-12-04 04:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All you can do is be their friend and be there for them. I am sure the reason the person has not left is due to fear - of change, of being alone, of starting over, so many things to fear. They have to realize that what they are living is not life, but a mere existence.I hope your friend finds their way. Good luck.
2006-12-04 04:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by NAN G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That person is probably scared of being left alone if he/she gets out of that relationship. You should go talk to him/her and explain to him/her that if he/she stays in that relationship, it might eventually kill him/her. The sooner he/she ends it, the better it will be.
Let that person know that you are worried about him/her and that you're willing to do as much as you can to help him/her out.
Good luck to you
2006-12-04 04:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she wanted to get out of the relationship, she would. Maybe she takes her marriage vows seriously and doesn't want to leave: "for better or for worse" you know. Maybe she keeps hoping things will change. You shouldn't get involved. So long as she is physically safe, just let her do what she will.
2006-12-04 04:30:16 · answer #10 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They haven't had enough. When they get enough, they'll get out. Maybe they are really committed to staying married. Some people have been brought up to think that once you are married you can't get a divorce with out it being a sin. They both need counceling. Any chance of that?
2006-12-04 04:29:13 · answer #11 · answered by Becky F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋