is it wrong?

Question

for me to have guy friends that my husband doesn't know about?

Answer 1

If you're being secretive about it then it must be wrong.

Answer 2

Well, what kinda 'friends' we talkin? Theres nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex unless they are friends with benefits. Now, why do you feel the need to hid them from your husband? Is it that he's jealous and doesn't want you speaking with other men? If that's the case you should speak with him because you shouldn't have secrets within your marriage, after a while the secrets becomes bigger than they origianlly were. You know, if you have secrets then you have something to hide. You don't want your husband finding out and asking you.."if there was nothing going on, why keep it from me?" There is no answer that will make him trust you again. Regardless of what your excuse is the fact that you kept it from him will make you look like the bad guy even though you did nothing wrong. This is a tough one but I think you should be honest with your husband and tell him the truth. Would you like to find out your husband has female friends he is keeping from you? Wouldn't that make you think bad about him?

Answer 3

I have to agree with most of the answerers here. If the man is a friend then there should not be a problem telling your husband about him. If you are hiding him from your husband then you must subconciously feel that he is a threat to your marriage. You should not keep him secret unless you are prepared for the fall out. Your husband will eventually find out and see the worst even if it is an innocent relationship. My advice is to introduce him to your husband and include him in an activity that the 3 of you can do together (dinner or maybe a card game) until your hubby is comfortable with your friendship.

Answer 4

Yes. The only reason you would keep this information from him is to leave doors open to be unfaithful. Even without being unfaithful sexually, there is also such a thing as being emotionally unfaithful. A good rule is to not hold any intimacy with someone else above the intimacy you have with your partner.

Invite him to hang out with you and your friends (If you can't because of who these friends are, then that's a red flag that these guys are not just friends). He may decline anyway, but at least you'll have been honest.

If he's crazy jealous (for no reason) or possessive with you about the time you spend with others, that's another issue entirely.

Answer 5

Yes, it is wrong.

Are you intentionally keeping your guy friends a secret from your husband? If so, why? Think about it.

There should never be any secrets between spouses, unless it is something that transpired before you were married, and its revelation would cause irreparable harm to the marriage.

It also depends on what you classify as a guy friend. Someone from work? Do you go out to lunch together? Go out for drinks? More importantly, what do you talk about? Are you sharing very personal information? You need to be careful.

Answer 6

Its not wrong to have guy friends as long as you're not being unfaithful to your husband. But its wrong to treat it as a secret. Your husband should know about the aspects of your life that include your friends. If anything was to ever happen to you, he would at least know who to talk to or who to contact. If anything happened to you and he had no idea, and one of your guy friends call him, he'll be like "Who the hell are you?", and then there'll be a lot of explaining to do. Do the right thing, let him know who you hang out with, and if he gets jealous, show him that its only friendship and nothing more.

Answer 7

It is dishonest and will be hurtful when he finds out. Wonder if he has girl friends you do not know about.

Sounds like you are laying the groundwork to destroy your relationship. Are you just after a bit of fun or are you starting on the slippery slope to a marriage break up. No matter how innocent you think it is, your question says you know it is a risky strategy to have undisclosed men friends and that alone can only be seen as dishonest.

Do you remember why you got got together? Do you remember why you got got married? Is that not worth saving?

No matter how much love you may have, dishonesty is a very strong acid and not being open is just the same as dishonesty when it is discovered.

Answer 8

No it's no wrong but you need to be honest and ask why does he not know about them are you trying to hide these friends for a reason or just never comes up. If you are hiding these friendships because they mean more to you than just friendship then yes it is wrong but you already know the answer to this question so you tell me is it wrong?

Answer 9

My question would be...why doesn't your husband know about him? If you can't be honest about this "friend" to your husband, then yes, it's WAY wrong.

Answer 10

If you have to ask, then even you are questioning this deeper feeling of the "friendship", so yes it's wrong. Your husband will soon pick up on it too.

Answer 11

Is there a reason he doesn't know about them?

I mean, you shouldn't feel guilty if there is nothing going on for him to be upset about and if there isn't anything going on for him to be upset about, then there should be no reason he shouldn't know them.

Truthfully, this would be reason for him not to trust you. I'm just saying that if my boyfriend/husband has friends who happen to be girls, I wouldn't care so long as I knew them or even just knew of them. But, if he doesn't want me to know them or of them, that's going to make me think he's hiding something.

Put yourself in his shoes.