I HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON MY WIFE FOR ABOUT TEN YEARS NOW AND COULDN'T SEEM TO STOP UNTIL SHE DECIDED TO CHEAT ON ME. AFTER A BUNCH OF CONFUSION WE TURNED TO GOD AND THE RELATIONSHIP HAS MADE A 360 DEGREE TURN FOR THE BETTER. I HAVEN'T CHEATED FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS. IT DON'T SEEM THAT LONG BUT TRUST ME THAT IS PRETTY LONG FOR ME. I WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND SO I ASKED GOD TO DELIVER ME FROM MY FORNICATIVE DESIRES. I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT HER CHEATING ON ME AGAIN BECAUSE HER REASON FOR CHEATING WAS DIFFERENT FROM MINE AND I KNOW HER CHARACTER. I AM TRULY SORRY FOR ALL THOSE TIMES I PUT HER SECOND IN MY LIFE AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN BUT I KNOW ME. WOMEN FIND ME VERY ATTRACTIVE AND SO SOMEONE IS ALWAYS IN MY FACE. I LOVE MY WIFE AND I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE TO HURT HER. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO SAY NO TO EVERY GIRL THAT I ENCOUNTER. I WANT AND NEED HER IN MY LIFE BUT IT IS HARD FOR ME TO JUST SAY NO AND WALK AWAY. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.
2006-12-04 04:02:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
God is your answer & I give you much credit for knowing now that you can change. Think of this when these women approach you...everthing that looks good for you isn't. Not just by hurting your wife hurting you as well. Do you know how many people have AIDS & don't bother telling you. It doesn't mean they look sick anymore either .Did you know that herpes is like the clap was 20 years ago but you don't get rid of it with a shot or pill . It is forever!Now you think of how good a woman looks & think of how many she has been with & condoms don't stop everything. Our prayers are with you my friend.
2006-12-04 04:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would print up several very large copiesof my wedding vows, and hang them up over the bed, in the bathroom, on the kitchen refrigerator, and in the mens room at work (this is an add-in for all those other cheating husbands who have forgotten their vows). Granted you've been an "uncheater" for 2 months, and you say you don't want to hurt your wife anymore, and it's hard to say "No" and walk away. Don't you think it would be a good idea to honour and respect your wife (whom you supposedly hold dear to your heart) and keep those vows. You are not only hurting yourself by cheating, but your entire family suffers too. Were you hurt by the fact that your wife cheated on you? If you were, then you know exactly how it feels to her when you cheated on her. You made a vow to commit yourself to one woman for the rest of your life, and God expects you to do that. It isn't hard to say No to every girl you encounter. Just stop looking at the boobs and the butts, and say NO - I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN AND I LOVE MY WIFE. It's not only prayer that helps because God also helps those who help themselves. Yes He's a forgiving God, but He's up there and you're down here. You need to work on the forgiveness and trust of your wife. You cannot have the whole cake and eat it too. Get some counselling (both of you if necessary) because YOU actually have to DO something for yourself if you ever want your relationship with the woman you married and love, to go on.
2006-12-04 04:20:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jayngelcat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're a truly a luck man that your wife has stayed with you through all these years. I don't think I could have ever stayed in a relationship like that.
Step #1 is to remain close to God at all times. You need a Christian male friend that will hold you accountable for your actions and someone you can call when you find yourself in temptation.
Step #2 is to get family therapy and counseling. I think you and your wife need individual counseling and couples counseling.
Step #3 is to get tested every six months for STD's and HIV.
Step #4 is to again, remain close to God.
The only one who's going to help you is God and you. You need to want to be faithful and even if you don't feel like it, you need to make a conscious decision that your wife deserves better. Although you felt the pain of betrayal, it was only once. Now imagine how your wife has felt for the past 10 years. I would be kissing the ground she walks on if I were you. You have a lot of making up to do and I pray that you will never fall into temptation again. Have some self respect and self control. Only animals don't have self control so please don't use that "I'm too weak" excuse. Man up and take responsibility for your actions and make a vow never to betray your wife again. God bless.
2006-12-04 04:19:07 · answer #3 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you continue to cheat after both going to god for help you would be the best definition of a fool I have seen in a while. I do not criticize you. I know the power of sexual attraction but we all have choices and you chose to marry this woman. You love her.....she loves you.
For you to cheat on her is to make her last in your priority. This should never be. You now know how sinful you have been. When that next girl comes to you do not look at her with the same eyes. Look at her and see your wife and know in your heart you cannot hurt her any more.
Work on your relationship. If it were perfect you would never see these other girls. Your wife can bring you much joy but you have to go through life together not apart.
Pray to the lord for his help but also help yourself. Talk with your wife and work out the problem you have with her. You will never be sorry you did. If it comes to the point you see her walk away you will be very sorry.
2006-12-04 04:16:32 · answer #4 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my advice will hurt but its blunt and straight to the point , you need to think of her feelings when you cheated and ask her if she loves you .Then i would look down at that ring and every time u see a pretty face other than your wife take a glance at that finger and tell your self " No i wont do that to my soul mate " because when u took your vows marriage is always for life .
2006-12-04 04:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by Cam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest you really just need to look at what you have and be thankful. It sounds like you need attention from the opposite sex. Please seek medical help. Did you come from a divorced family? Did you get enough attention from your mom growing up? Please whatever you do don't hurt your wife any more.....when someone cheats it makes the other person feel disrespected, unwanted and the pain never fully goes away. So if you cant control your urges talk to a professional and find out why you are seeking this kind of attention. Good luck!!
2006-12-04 04:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by barrbee_girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh feel so sorry for you, yeah right. Basically you are so hot that women fall all over you and you are so weak that you can't say no. Hell, 99% of men have prayed to have your problem. If God puts 0.01% effort into helping you, he is not a just God. Do you realize how many more severe problems there are in this world that you could pray to God to help with. Starving children, dying civilians, illnesses, corruption, on and on and on and on. You have the gall to pray to God to help you keep it in your pants. Give me a break.
For a second let's assume that sexual addiction is a real thing. Seek professional help for that. Don't go the places that women are going to force themselves on you without your wife. Stop being so weak. Carry a picture of your most understanding wife in you hand at all times. When a woman throws herself on you and you just can't fight her off, look at that picture of your wife, maybe that will generate enough guilt to keep it in your pants.
2006-12-04 04:20:57 · answer #7 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about some self control ????? We can all go around screwing everybody we see. Do you think someone else controls whether I cheat or not ?? Stop acting like you dont have control. Are you waiting for god to take care of it for you ? Nobody can help you with your bad character but you. Stop being so damn selfish and stop cheating. Its your choice so dont go around crying for people to help you. You saw how much it hurt when your wife cheated on you once right ?
2006-12-04 04:13:48 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way I keep from cheating is I tell my wife everything. When I have no secrets, and I know I'm going to have to face my wife on every thing I say and do, then there's really no temptation to cheat.
2006-12-04 04:10:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Maybe your wife deserves better. Man up and be a good husband. God is forgiving, so just don't cheat again. Spend every minute with your wife and family, or at church.
2006-12-04 04:07:40 · answer #10 · answered by SavvyGrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋