My husband and I have been married for 5 years now. He is 27 and I’m 25. If we are luck we have sex every two months. He always says that he’s tired and “I’ll give it to you tomorrow” and it never happens. We even don’t cuddle that much in bed anymore. When I try to talk to him he says that I turn him on but he’s tired or exhausted. We both love each other allot. Do I need to work on this more by going to see some one, get out or look for something on the side?
2006-12-04 03:43:38 · 33 answers · asked by lovebruno21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he may not be seeing anyone at all, he may be depressed about something or his mind isnt all the way there, go to my 360 page a read up on what happen with my relationship. The same thing happened to me and i found out what it was by just talking to him and letting him know how it makes me feel
2006-12-04 03:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the first things to do is find out if it is just that he is tired or that he just don't want you. I can't believe it is the second.
If his job is very demanding then he would be tired. But more importantly when a man is tired or not in the mood he knows there is no way he can perform.....so it's better to put it off.
What time of day do you want it? If at night then yes he could be tired. If morning then being tired isn't it .
There are always his days off. He truly has no excuse then.
Depending on the man.....for the most part.....even if a man is not turned on by his wife he can still perform. For men, sex alone is the motivation. So try this:
On a day off....when you know he is not tired. Make love to him. Don't ask just do it. If you into oral sex it is a perfect way.
If he refuses it or he still can't get it up you both have a problem.
It is a rare man that will refuse sex if he doesn't have to do the work.
If that happens you may have to see a doctor to rule out any physical problems. Then see a therapist to work on your relationship.
I am sorry to say this....and I do hope I'm wrong...he could have another woman. That would cause this.
Being a man who has always loved his wife there would never ever be a time I would have refused it. Problem is, your problem is my problem only in reverse. So I truly know your fustration.
2006-12-04 04:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might have a lot to do with stress. Guys are always looking for excitement as well. Maybe you should try to spice it up a little with something new that you've never done before. Things you are both comfortable with. If you're married, no sex shouldn't be a reason to break a marriage up. You made a commitment. Stick with it. There are marriage counselors and other kinds that may be able to help with issues like this. Don't just flake out because it's not working how you want it to. You have to work to make it work.
2006-12-04 03:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jinx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's odd for a young man his age to be "too tired" for sex. I would have him see a doctor to make sure there aren't male issues obstructing his sex drive. It could be many things effecting it, & seeing a doctor will rule out any medical problems. If after that, there isn't anything medically wrong, then perhaps you both should go to counselling & get to the bottom of whatever it is holding him back. Once you get to the root of it, then you both can begin to work it out. I would try all the above before exploring outside your marriage, & definitely talk with him & explain how you feel about it. There should be some sort of compromise you both will be comfortable with.
2006-12-04 03:51:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off do not look for something on the side unless its a vibrator! Maybe he is tired or exhausted. All people go through phases where they have sex alot or have sex a little or not at all. If you love him how you claim you will talk to him about this issue without making him feel bad about his inability to perform or want to perform. Maybe you should take things into your own hands without asking him for sex and get him aroused enough so that he will perform. My husband and I had this issue but it was me who didn't want it, mostly because I was tired and exhausted as your husband claims it was nothing my husband was or wasn't doing.It was me I didn't feel attractive and I was tired. He would talk to me and honestly at times make me feel even worse about not giving him sex to the point I almost left him, don't let that happen in your marriage
2006-12-04 03:53:02 · answer #5 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to him once. He said "none of his friends do it anymore". Well, I thought he didn't love me anymore. I left him, got pregnant and had to divorce him. I had to tell him I was pregnant and needed a divorce...I found out then that he really did love me. (but by then it was too late) You don't need to find it elsewhere. You need counseling, or for him to see a Dr. maybe he can give him some help. He probably is real tired. Try treating him to a relaxing hot bubble bath...with you in it too. Sometimes things gets boring and it's a chore. Spice things up a little. Also, when you don't get any exercise, or enough, you are tired all the time.
2006-12-04 03:51:38 · answer #6 · answered by Becky F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Derek J, sorry to say my husband went off sex with me after having a good sex life. It turns out he was having sex with someone else!! Guilt will do it everytime! Ask him out right if he is, you will propabally sense if he is lying and use your female instinks. No man can go without sex that long but even more important they need cuddles too so he must be getting them from somewhere else. Be brave, I know at 25 you won't want to face this but it happened to me at 24 and let me tell you, you can't go on not having sex forever, what about when you want kids?? You deserve to have a sex life so you need to take the matter into your own hands and be brave!! Goodluck!
2006-12-04 04:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Kimmie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out whats going on with him. There seems like some thing else may be at the root of his lack of interest in SEX not in you persay. if he is working too much maybe he needs some time away look into that if possible. Have you tried seducing him like when you guys were first dating or just married?
2006-12-04 04:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let it go on.
1. Marriage counseling until something changes. Be sure to not get stuck with an ineffective counselor.
2. Medical exam of Mr.
3. If nothing changes in next 12 mo., get out of the relationship.
2006-12-04 03:59:37 · answer #9 · answered by CincinnatiDon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are in the same boat as you. We are both 31 and only have sex if I nag him, but then I feel as if he is taking care of an obligatiion instead of connecting with me. Everyone is going to tell you to talk to him about it, but if you're like me it's been talked about to death!! I don't have an answer, sorry I wish I did. I would say just be patient. Don't look somehwere else. That will just complicate matters. Good luck!!!!
2006-12-04 05:40:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋