Are there any attorneys reading this that could possibly help? I'm in Virginia. We were married 17 years and two years ago my wife just packed and left. We have no children. I later learned she had moved in with her old boyfriend. A few weeks after that, I found bags of "love letters" and sickening photographs, conveniently dated. We drew up our own separation agreement and we both signed it. It was not "filed" though. I'm filing my own divorce petition now. I thought I would prepare two petitions; one simply claiming irreconcilable differences so as to avoid the embarrasment, and another containing the lurid details in case she refused to sign the "sanitized" version. If she refuses to sign, do I need to go ahead and file the "un-sanitized" petition? I will have both ready. In preparing the petition, I noticed I'm required to state that the court "may fix the rights of the parties" regardless, apparently, of what we've agreed to?? Would the "details" help prevent this?
2006-12-04 02:27:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I see your problem. Virginia is an equitable distribution state, correct? So, after 17 years of marriage, the courts will likely want to see all parties assets adjusted toward "equality". Court speak for "give MORE to the party who earns less". Am I right?
So if you had a fault based divorce with the evidence of adultery and abandonment, it would be seen to have caused the divorce. The at fault party WILL get less in the settlement that way.
But it's up to you. The emotional strain will wear you down and the attorney fees go up as she contests everything, but if you need to do this on principle then go for it. You didn't really have irreconciable differences (no fault)...there IS a fault. The truth is just the truth.
ps- this law website will let you post a question to attorneys for advice, www.lawguru.com. You get replies by email for free. I hope this helps you. Best wishes.
2006-12-04 02:43:21 · answer #1 · answered by upside down 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, old relationships rarely work out, not sure that you care. You've been married for a long time, definitely get an attorney. If she hadn't worked most of those years, you could get stuck paying Spousal Support.
You should try to get her to agree to some mutual termination of the marriage (Irreconcilable Differences). If she doesn't and you don't have money, you can try getting help through Legal Aid. Either way, get an attorney and keep a journal in the mean time. Keep track of all dates and times, phone calls or any other type of contact.
Change the locks on the door, take her off the rental agreement, (if you have one) and hide all those letters and pictures.
Good luck~
2006-12-04 02:45:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I'm not an attorney. But I have been divorced. In the state of Kansas, the judge doesn't care about the "UN-sanitized" petition. He doesn't care who cheated on whom. It is irreconcilable differences.
2006-12-04 02:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by to_sassy4_u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what state (USA) you live in. In NY State, for example, you cannot divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences or adultry! Sorry :-(
And do yourself a huge favor, get a lawyer! None of this "do it yourself" stuff for divorces.
2006-12-04 02:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a lawyer.
2006-12-04 02:32:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
legal questions need attorneys. don't try to do it yourself. good luck and God bless you.
2006-12-04 02:36:49 · answer #6 · answered by teresa.edmonds@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋