My husband and I have been having marital problems due to his infidelity for the past 2 years. I have been trying my hardest to rebuild our life together.
He has agreed to go on a vacation with me for Christmas. I told him that I just want to go somewhere, anywhere and he told me to plan the trip. He suggested that we go see his parents for the holidays. I am hoping that it will be a romantic week together. What do you think?
2006-12-04 02:14:51 · 9 answers · asked by blue eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leiani's answer is right on the button.
The other answers are helpful, generally. Don't toss the opportunity away by telling him that you're not going to plan the trip -- you probably should have done that when he first suggested it, but now just get that get-away done. Tell him you'll spend Christmas Eve at his parents, but on Christmas afternoon you two are going on a romantic get-away.
It seems really odd that he "has agreed" to go on a vacation with you.
Jim Evans has is a wonderful series on rebuilding marriage (from a Christian perspective).
2006-12-04 02:31:49 · answer #1 · answered by asperens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT REAL PROBLEMS.....first things first....if your man cheats once that is a mistake... if he cheats twice that is heart breaking...if he cheats a third time that is a bad habit,one i bet he doesn't intend to stop..this includes if he is doing it with only one person or thirty(and really how would you know)...secondly.. you hope for a romantic holiday and he comes up with go to his parents house,this man doesn't want to be romantic with you. i would say that is the real problem....you could try not doing the things he relies on you for,,such as cooking,cleaning,,and being home waiting for him when gets home from work..leave him a note that says "be home later" and nothing else.then when you are home be very happy to be there. this will drive him crazy..he won't understand whats going on, that will put the two of you on level ground . if he wants the old you back then what he really wants is a housekeeper with sex as an extra....if you choose to remain as things are then be happy about it..and plan to be alone a lot and enjoy it....holiday,.you plan it all nothing else is acceptable.if he will not commit then i would find a door and use it..soon..
2006-12-04 10:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by pbear i 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think going to his parents will be a romantic week together?
You must have awsome inlaws.
Your husband wouldn't let you travel alone because he is projecting his lying and cheating mindset onto you and doesn't trust you.
If you want to have a romantic week, DON'T go visit his parents.
Why don't you try the central or southern California coast? There are wonderful little places to stay, parks and beaches and wineries to visit and it's really beautiful. Monterey/Carmel/Pacific Grove and Santa Cruz are all awesome (I live there so I know). Big Sur is also amazing.
Best wishes!
2006-12-04 10:23:50 · answer #3 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you want romantic....inlaws probably aren't the answer...if you want family time for the holidays then....certainly that would be a great idea.....
sounds to me that he may also be interested in rebuilding the relationship...however, you can't be the one doing all the work....relationship take 100% effort 100% of the time...from BOTH!
Ask him to plan the trip with you.....make it a fun, exciting adventure.....if you do infact go to see his parents....I'd plan to stay someplace that's not with family...rent a cabin, a hotel room...a bed & breakfast....someplace where you can have some alone time.
Might I suggest..that if your both serious about repairing your relationship...that you seek maritial counseling to work on regaining and his earning your trust....without trust...you may as well forget it...he has given you every reason not to trust him. Now he has to earn that trust....
Best of luck to you both...and Merry Christmas!!
2006-12-04 10:25:16 · answer #4 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A romantic week with his parents. Great idea.
I think maybe you should suggest a neutral location that holds something new for both of you, or maybe some place that you both enjoy.
His parents strike me as at least a minor distraction from a romantic vacation.
2006-12-04 10:20:56 · answer #5 · answered by Teufel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking it shouldnt be you making all the effort to rebuild this relationship when HE was the one cheating. He should be the one planning surprise breaks, nice treats and trying his best to work through the troubles.
Seems like you're the one doing all the work here.
2006-12-04 10:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to see his parents then be prepared to be taken into the town square and burnt so he can remarry someone to his parents liking.
2006-12-04 10:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by clic1_0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopoefully it will be one step forward and in the right direction to getting you two back together again.
2006-12-04 10:21:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jack Knauf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to relax and allow the relationship to mend and grow......do not put expectations on everything. Enjoy him
2006-12-04 10:22:04 · answer #9 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋