Trying to stay together for our child? Is that a good reason?

Question

We are 5 yrs a couple and have a son of 2. I moved countries for him and stopped working having the baby. Now I have no money, and though he earns well, I am always in red numbers. He says it is not his problem I am not working. I then show bills & he pays me back. I am busy setting up an online store (with a loan I might get) and take care of our son as we live far away from family & I hardly have any friends over here.
Last weekend he cancelled the 2000 euros I need to have to get the loan. He would help me with that. So within moments he cxld my 18 mths of preparation, following courses.
Besides, he accused me of abuse. Later on recalled that, as seemed that court would want to hear me too. (which would be bad for him) We had 1 fight and I defended myself. My family advices me to come back. I went once with the fight as reaction.
He is a very well respected person in his business. We are in counselling. I dont want my child to fly ibetween countries. what to do?

Answer 1

Even though my husband and I have seperate bank accounts and divide the bills we still what he makes as mine and vice versa. It is our money, not mine and yours. I am sorry for your predicament and no matter what you do it is going hard. My best advice is you should never stay in a relationship for a child because children can and will pick up on your unhappiness and this can only lead to a life of unhappiness for your child. It sounds like your husband is trying to overpower you when he is accusing you of abuse. Dont think for one reason he wont rip that child away from you. Try as hard as you can to gain a better standing either by getting a job or obtaining money, hopefully your family has some money and can help you out. Get an attorney as soon as you can and if he ever raises his voice and seems any type of abusive - make sure you report everything that he does and says to you, even if filing a police report. If you have these things documented it will be so much easier in court if you have to go. Your husband sounds like he is powerful and will be a hard adversary if he goes against you full force. Start preparing to get out now

Answer 2

A child is one of the most important reasons to stay together but it can't be the only reason. If you aren't getting the respect and love you deserve; then being apart may be better. Hopefully the counseling will help. If the counselor you have isn't doing a good job then get another one. It is so sad that a child is the innocent victim in a divorce.

Answer 3

No, you should not stay with a person because of a child. That is the worse thing in the world for you and your child. You, need to leave and you need to go back home where you want to go, and get a job. There is no use in staying with someone if you are miserable. And in the long run you will only be unhappy, and that is not good for you or the child. Please dont stay with someone just for the money, go get a job and leave. And go back to where you want to live. Good Luck With Whatever Decision You Make!!

Answer 4

You are in a mess. Staying in an abusive, controlling relationship for the sake of the kids is not a good reason to stay. In fact it's an even better reason to leave. Visitation will be difficult, but I think you should go back to your family. He seems to want to keep you under his thumb, and as for staying, is this the kind of life you want to give to your child. Do you want him to see the way you are treated and think that it is OK? And as the child gets older, he will probably treat them the same as he does you, if he doesn't already.. He is a little man trying to make himself feel more powerful by bullying his family.

Answer 5

You should never stay together for the kids. If there is hope there and you love him, then it's always good to try. But I believe it's more detrimental to a child to grow up in a loveless household because then they grow up with a warped and ugly perception on what a marriage should be like. If you are going to stay married, your children need to see that you love each other and things need to be happy and somewhat stable. If you're fighting all the time, this is not health for the children.

Answer 6

you have no money? if you are together, and he works, then you BOTH have money. It shouldn't be you work, its your money, he works, it's his money. Seriously, being together as a family means the commitment to share EVERYTHING!!! If you are in counseling, I would try to make it work if its the right thing you think you should do, but DO NOT do it for the child. YOu will be miserable, and in turn, your child will see that. It is better to get out of a bad relationship than let your child grow up in one. Good luck, honey.

Answer 7

Staying together for the child is never a valid reason. Sometimes the kid picks up on the fact that you are miserable and it can cause psychological problems for him. Yes there are problems growing up in a 1 parent home but it's better as long as the homes are happy ones.

Answer 8

A fower with rain and sunshine grows best. No rain and just sunshine or vice versa causes stunted growth of the flower. A child likewise grows best with two parents, and for the sake of the child , I would do all I could to make it work. However, if you have dne the best you can, and it still does not work, then, and only then., make other living arrangements!

Answer 9

You should not stay together because of a child. If I were you I would leave and go back to your family. Fight everything else in court. If he is not willing to be by your side on everything then it is not worth it. If you stayed together then what type of enviorment would your son grow up in?

Answer 10

Staying together for the child doesn't do the child any good in a stressful relationship. Get a job and be gone. The dude is a loser. His money is your money if your not working and trying to raise kids. If he sees it different, then he's a jerk. Be gone!!!!

Merry Christmas.