i dont want to be gay!! i love girls.and right now, im the most inlove ive ever been, but she wants out, because her parents says there's to much to give up for it...what should i do? i dont want to loose her!!!
2006-12-04 00:02:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No, of course not. Sexuality of all flavors is a gift from God. Too many people don't accept the variety in which God makes people, this causes a great deal of heart-ache.
The two of you need to decide what is most important to you, and tell her parents to stop trying to put asunder what God has made.
2006-12-04 00:19:23 · answer #1 · answered by sudonym x 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
All the evidence is that being gay is not a choice. -- people are almost certainly homosexual because of genetics. There is a great deal of scientific evidence that it is inborn. Beyond scientific evidence there is anecdotal evidence.
The fruit fly study is actually fairly conclusive. But the pheremonal and eye blink studies are also compelling. I've included links below for those that are interested. Beyond that, research increasingly suggests that at least for males, Xq28 is the crucial gene. I am saddened by this, because I believe that once it is proven, gay people will be wiped out -- and I think that is sad, because given the number of species in which homosexuality exists (see Dr. Bruce Bagemihl's book "Biological Exuberance" from St. Martin's Press) I think it serves a purpose, and has been evolutionarily preferred. The recent Italian study by Andrea Camperio-Ciani and colleagues pretty clearly shows both how and why a gene or gene set causing homosexuality, particularly in males - would survive and be preferred evolutionarily.
In addition to scientific evidence is the anecdotal evidence. I never in my life had any sexual feeling for a female -- nor any romantic feelings. I have had romantic feelings for other males since 8. I figured out it was sexual at 11 and came out at 14. I never felt anything for girls, neither do other gay males I know. Some boys manage to suppress it for a time, but when it comes out they admit to having always had the feelings. Likewise for bisexuals, although bisexuals always have feelings for both, and therefore are capable of choice -- for real. Gays are no more capable of choice than straights are.
There is nothing either wrong or unnatural about being homosexual. Enjoy the links -- and think about the gay people you know. While some, particularly younger ones, may be risk takers or may be into drugs --- think about the young straight men you know -- how many of them are risk takers -- or into drugs? It's gender and age far more than sexuality. Others are, I would bet, settled, calm, caring and successful.
The only thing being gay does is change who you sleep with. If you truly "love girls" and are a guy -- then you are not gay. If you are a girl -- you probably are. In either event, what you are is what you are - embrace it.
Kind regards,
Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-12-04 11:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit confused with the structure of the question but I'm assuming that you are a girl who has feelings for another girl.
Firstly, you can't do a anything to make a person stay, no matter how much you love her, it's both a sad an beautiful fact of life. So what you can do on your side is love her, and let her make the choice of taking your love, or running away because it's too risky.
On the aspect of ungay-ing yourself, well I'm not discounting the fact that some claim to have this work for them, but this did not work for me. I have tried to un-gay myself for 11 years to no avail. I won't bore you with the details of my fruitless pursuits but I ended up as gay as I was when I began. And now, I accepted it, and thanked God that he made me this way, beautiful and wonderfully made in his sight.
I won't tell you not to try to un-gay yourself, because you'll discover a lot of stuff about yourself that may be useful to you. But I'm just saying that in the end, if you still end up gay like the rest of us, you are not alone, and you are not a mistake. Your Maker created you in your mothers womb, and when he was done, he looked at your form fondly and gave himself a pat on the back.. He said to himself, "she is perfect."
2006-12-04 08:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Like I cannot be turned into a lesbienne, a gay person cannot be turned in to a heterosexual. I think the best thing is to accept who you are. That will make your life a lot easier.
2006-12-06 13:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by MM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being gay is a choice , You can not force someone to stay with you, Just like in a straight relationship. If she doesn't want to be gay , maybe it was a religious choice. I'm sorry for the pain this may cause you , but you need to move on. Best of luck.
2006-12-04 08:11:09 · answer #5 · answered by srstephens 4 · 0⤊ 8⤋
You can't become ungay...but you also can't make someone stay who doesn't want to.
2006-12-04 09:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋