Marry me. She is wonderful, she has a good heart and the virtues inside a person that match mine. But she was arranged for marriage at a young age, and even though there were some emotions between her and her husband a long time back, they were gone long before I was in the picture.
Now we have been together for over two years, her husband found out ... but he is not doing anything.. just sitting around. I asked her to leave him often, and she is afraid of her family, his family and the Indian culture. Also losing her friends and also how a divorce will impact her and her 4 year old son.
I have been patient, but am consistently being torn as I dont see where this is leading, and she does not want to commit fearing to break my heart, although she does not realize my heart is chipping daily ( or does not want to be blamed for it).
Any advice is helpful. Please dont judge to much my actions or hers until you one day are in our shoes also if possible.
2006-12-03 23:41:28 · 9 answers · asked by UnHappySide 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave her alone and u carry on with ur life and find another girl for ur self .
this is indian values and if she wanted she should have decided and joined u much before .
i am sure there r plenty u will find with similar values and time will heal ur heartbreak .
goodluck
2006-12-03 23:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by sas35353535 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think deep down only you know what is the right thing for you. If you love this woman and truely think you have a future then it may be worth holding out for her.
Alternatively you could walk away - that would be the easy option as it would allow her to sort her marriage out (if at all) in her own time and would allow you to find someone free for you to actually be with. Personally this all sounds very messy and like it only stands to get even messier for this woman.
Have you really considered what will happen if she does leave her husband (i.e. are you prepared to look after her son as your own, to allow her husband to still have contact with her son and so always be in her life, what you will do in terms of family and friends if they choose to side with her husband on this matter?). The repercussions for both of you are great (and also for her very young son) not that I am saying it is better for her or her son if she stays in an unhappy marriage.
Perhaps you could see a counsellor to help you talk through your feelings, and maybe this woman could come to see the counsellor with you so that you can get a handle on the situation and the true realities of what forming a proper relationship together will involve.
I think you and this woman have some serious talking to do ultimately, and I think she needs to realise that she can't have her cake and eat it when it comes to continuing her marriage and this affair. She needs to realise that she is hurting your feelings by not making a decision one way or the other and I think these are issues you need to sit down and talk through. If she is still unprepared to leave her husband or is not willing to commit to you in terms of sorting out a divorce/separation then you need to consider walking away from this woman. Either way it is far too soon to be discussing marriage, if she does leave her husband to be with you, you need to work on the basics of your relationship and let marriage come later.
Good luck!
2006-12-03 23:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by AngelWings 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to leave it alone. The first thing that I question is her integrity. She is cheating on her husband with you, and how do you know that you are the only one that she has been in this type of relationship with? You trust her? I wouldnt cause her actions thus far are untrustworthy, period. If she didnt want to be in the marriage then she would get otu of it but she doesnt think that the risk is worth the reward. What does that say about her feeling toward you? GET OUT... ask your friends and they'll agree.
2006-12-07 07:05:47 · answer #3 · answered by jowens1212 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I m nearly in her shoes almost but we won't go into that.... you need to decide first if you can live without her or not?, if you can't, tell her about how you feel. tell her it should'nt impact on her son as you are willing to be a good father to him.. also about her losing her friends... does she want to remain in an unhappy marriage because she has good friends... if she is unhappy true friends should be supportive to her needs....her family will eventually understand......if its for the right person i would be willing to give up the whole world. good luck. email her this question and let her see how serious you are... lastly if you know she will never leave then i will also say 'move on'.
2006-12-04 00:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by sonia 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Man, find yourself your own woman. You are wasting both your time and hers. Even if she divorces her husband (and I doubt she will) she will not just come running to you to ask you to marry her, she will need time to sort things out and maybe by that time she would have found someone else. Her husband is also going to blame you for their divorce and all her family and son. Just forget her and move on.
2006-12-03 23:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by Joker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel. i have been having an affair with a married man for 2 years and we love each other to bits. but if he leaves his wife she will not let him see his grand kids at all he was married before this and when they split up and he married his last wife his first wife would not let him see his kid and having lost his kids he dose not want to loose his grand kids their mam is his second wife daughter and not his so she can not be talked in to letting him see them so he stays. and we see each other when we can. you have to ask your self if you can put up with things the way they are or not. dose it not make you happy seeing her or do you have to have more she will looses her family as well as freinds maybe she is worried that if it dose not work with you she will have no one. good luck x
2006-12-04 00:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by debbie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to walk away. She needs to sort her life out. Your only hurting yourself by waiting around. You'll be doing her a favor. Good luck.
2006-12-03 23:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by Neev 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2006-12-03 23:50:16 · answer #8 · answered by Sonam G 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Man u are sick
2006-12-03 23:49:27 · answer #9 · answered by po j 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋