My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 months now. In this time we have only spent maybe at most 4 weekends together and barely speak to each other. I am suppose to be going to his house for Christmas Break (which lasts 3 weeks) but I really just don't even feel the need too. I don't want to hurt him but I feel that for the past 2 monthes he has been to busy to involve me in his life so now I don't see a reason to involve him in mine. And to be honest the only reason why we're even in contact is I have a cell phone which he bought/pays for. Am I being too harsh or are my reasons rational for not wanting to see him?
2006-12-03 23:17:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
About the contact thing. I shouldnt say we are in contact since we barely talk 5 minutes a day because he claims to be so busy and it is always me making the calls.
2006-12-03 23:19:16 · update #1
Kerri - No it is not Hill it is Hester.
2006-12-03 23:24:35 · update #2
Before you make decisions get ALL the facts.
He bought you a cell phone-so that says he wants to keep in touch.
He just might be very busy-find out.
Some folks have jobs they can't discuss with anyone and are "busy" on a 24/7 basis. There maybe other reasons why his time and talking with you are limited-some nice-some not so nice.
If you care enough-which I get the impression you don't-best time to get to know him is on a 3 week holiday-Please drive your own car there.
If you don't care enough then cancel NOW!
2006-12-03 23:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by dragon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer. You spelled it out quite well in your question. And I agree. You "don't feel the need" to spend the time with him says to me that you don't feel a real emotional connection to him. It sounds as if he has a deeper connection to you than you do to him.
My personal experiences may be coming into play here because I read all the answers and I have to agree that they make a lot of sense. But I still get the feeling from your words that this isn't a serious relationship for you and 3 weeks would be awful for both of you if you go. Good luck. And Merry Christmas!
2006-12-04 07:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by Batty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in your shoes I would have a talk with him asking him howcome your the one always calling him and howcome when yall talk its only for a few mins. Tell him straight up that you cant be in any kind of relationship where you arent as important than him being busy all the time. Tell him you need someone there for you to comfort you and love you for who you are. I honestly would talk to him alot of about it before you go to his house and if he seems iffy then I defently would say the hell with him. If he is already acting strange at 3 months then id hate to see how he reacts in the long run. So just do the right thing before you get hurt.
2006-12-04 07:23:57 · answer #3 · answered by blazin_cripz_2006_0wner.sheena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he hard at work trying to make a good future or out there partying and having a good time? Is he with other guys? Are his courses really hard?
I'd say have a good talk with him when you are done with exams. Discuss if your relationships can survive your schedules.
If he is a real hard worker and you are not willing to put up with his ambition then you should make a clean break. Personaly I think it is rather shallow. If you stick with someone that is that hard working, eventually his efforts will pay off for the both of you. I would let him know your decision when he is done with his exams so that you don't upset him.
If you think he has other guys then give him the heave ho.
2006-12-04 09:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are asking yourself the wrong question. do you love him? can you see yourself with him in time to come? he may be being a bit selfish as you haven't said what he does when he's not with you. i can understand how you feel but look at it another way. i believe christmas is a time for family and friends. he wants you to spend it all with him and you've only been together three months. that is a really big thing. he wouldn't do that if he didn't care,just make sure he puts as much into the relationship as you do. good luck xx p.s is your surname hill?
2006-12-04 07:22:31 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me.... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's face it you don't have a relationship you have a cell phone. I think what you have to look at is why you have settled for this and are not pursuing a real relationship. Give him his cell phone back and spend the holidays with your family and friends. After the new year, spend some time exploring why this happened, its obvious you are avoiding intimacy.
2006-12-04 09:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should just go for a few days during the Christmas break instead of three weeks. you might enjoy yourself and have a chat with him about how you feel things are going. Three weeks is a lot - maybe just a week.
2006-12-04 07:23:31 · answer #7 · answered by nik 28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is extremely busy with work school or whatever and wants to use his break to connect with you?
2006-12-04 07:20:00 · answer #8 · answered by adambomb286 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go. If things dont work out, you can always go home you know!!!!
2006-12-04 07:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why ask what you know
2006-12-04 07:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by benbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋