i have a lovely two and half year old son and iam getting married next year i am longing so much for baby ii lost baby on second novenber i am trying to just hold out five months or so but my longing keeps coming back for another baby what do i do getting married in july
2006-12-03 22:48:43 · 10 answers · asked by buzz 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
You either decide to try for another baby and might have to prospone the marriage (or not). Or you decide to wait just 2 months and try. If you want to drink at your wedding and also on your honeymoon afterwards you decide to wait. Try to have another goal in your life too.
2006-12-03 22:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Annickvw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having another baby isn't going to be a "quick-fix" for the pain you are feeling right now.
I urge you to deal with your sorrow of losing a baby and look at it as a second chance from God to get a few things in order for your life.
If you are looking for advice and guidance, I would suggest waiting for another pregnancy and focusing your attention on getting ready for your marriage. Spend some time with your son, work on getting into really good shape, heck take up something new like yoga or tae bo so you can feel and look your best for your wedding.
Enjoy your time right now and deal with your loss. Work through the pain and go on with your life. Getting pregnant right now may appear to "erase" the fact that you lost a baby, but the feeling are still going to be there. You may even be depressed and that's not good for a new pregnancy.
Besides, if you just miscarried, you need to let your body heal or you may end up miscarrying again. That would be far worse than waiting until after the wedding. That should be your big day, you don't want to walk down the aisle looking like a white marshmallow!
2006-12-04 07:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by TrixyLoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe yourself better than you are giving yourself at the moment. If the need is enveloping your life you need to take professional help before it wrecks your day to day functioning.
Being married is about you, your husband and your son. It is not about being pregnant again ;lovely as that would be.
You really need to sit down and analyse everything that is happening in your life right now. Sit down with a professional that is,- counsellor, doctor,clergyman, shrink , it doesn't matter who.
Once you know who you are again, and where you are in time and space, then you can think about getting married and possibley, after a while, having another child.
Longing can be a powerful and addictive drug and drug addicts are not easy to be around.
I am sorry if I sound harsh.You came to Answers for advice and sometimes advice has to be that way.
Better it comes from someone you don't know but who may have travelled that road already.
2006-12-04 07:06:08 · answer #3 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. I have had two miscarriages in the last year and am longing to have a child.
First I would learn Natural Family Planning. By charting your cycles you will learn when you are most fertile so that once you are married you know how to maximise your chances of concieving.
Secondly, you are fortunate in that you already have a son. Remind him how precious and loved he is!
Thirdly, accept that God has different plans for different people at different times. Focus on all th good things you already have and another baby will come.
Keep praying!
2006-12-05 02:40:50 · answer #4 · answered by MrsC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, somewhat I had a misacarriage a little over 2 years ago. Except I didn't have any children. I think when it is time for you mentally and physically to have a baby it will happen. I am now 33 weeks pregnant with my first. It took almost 2 years for me to get pregnant again. We are in a better place in our lives now and that is why I think it took so long for us. Good luck and congrats on getting married!
2006-12-04 08:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by shorty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about the sleepless nights and the constant attention a newborn demands and how much easier it would be to cope with, once your other child is a little bit older. give you body a little time to regenerate and your soul a little time to grieve. Then go for it again. I tis not put off forever, just some months. Maybe in the meantime spend some more special time with your son, because once you are pregnant again and later have a newborn, time for him will be a bit less.
2006-12-04 06:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by sannyspain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. You'll have a baby again. Wait until after your married so you dont have to worry about both things. Friends of mine lost twin boys. They were premature and died 2 days apart. They now have a 18 month old baby girl, and pregnant with their next child. It'll happen. Good Luck!! and dont worry.
2006-12-04 06:56:46 · answer #7 · answered by pebbles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I would definitely ask you to talk about how you're feeling with your hubby. You never know he might be feeling the same way too.
I felt exactly the same as you... We decided to have kids but then we were told that it may be difficult. We tried Clomid (for fertility) and were about to start IVF when I had our first child!!
The waiting was awful and I began to get really obsessed with it all even to the point of hating anyone and not being able to be around anyone who was pregnant or who had babies.
I became so upset one day that my husband sat me down and we had the most fantstic heart to heart...It was amazing...after that I thought to myself look I really want a baby but it'll happen when it want to.....2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant....
Basically, as I said before, talk to him about how you feel..
xx
2006-12-04 09:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had 2 miscarriages while my husband and i were trying for a baby and i felt devastated but i believe that after losing a child it's your bodies way of telling you it's not the right time maybe you should give yourself and your body time to recover both mentally and physically and start trying either in spring or in the summer when you get married
2006-12-04 08:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by doozer_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a stillbirth four years ago and at the time we knew another baby would not replace thomas but at the same time if i waited it would put me off and i would not have another. we tried again ( or did not prevent it to put a better word to it ), and 2 months later i was pregnant again.looking back i wish we waited,i ended up with vile postnatal depression....i know its hard but wait...you will be glad you did in a few years.
ps have you had counseling?
2006-12-04 07:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by big bird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋